I don't feel comfortable accepting presents from these people who are supposed to be my family. Last night I was in my lurking room in the basement and I smelled food, so I went up. My aunt and uncle had invited thirteen family members over for dinner. No one came down and got me when they arrived or told me when the food got here, and I couldn't hear them because the basement is really isolated. So I walk upstairs to see what's going on and they all just STARE at me like they don't know why I'm there. I look at the food, but they ordered BBQ, and every single bit of it was red meat. So I guess they didn't really expect me to eat with them.

Have you ever felt so lonely it actually causes you physical pain? I did, when I went back downstairs.

Then today I wake up at three. I'd slept in my lurking room because I knew I didn't have to get up and so I might as well enjoy some uninterrupted sleep. I go upstairs to grab breakfast, and three family-types are over. I wave and say good morning jokingly. No one in the room, not even my aunt or uncle, respond. They just look at me for a second, then go back to what they were doing.

So I think I have good reason for not wanting to go open the presents they got me. I've had plenty of time to wonder why the fuck they bothered.

The worst thing about this was that I kind of hoped things would be better over break because they haven't seen me in months. So now I feel like an idiot.

myaaaa.

I have decided I am no longer dealing with people that frustrate me.

It was nice knowing all of you. I'll be spending the rest of my life in a hut by a river in the mountains. There are no visiting hours. But I may have a few cats.

I am moving out tomorrow.

So, I open the slidey thing we keep the toaster in because I like toast, right? A fucking OVULATION TEST falls out on my hand.

Why on the TOASTER?

I hate toast. >.<

::EDIT:: There is now a message for them:
"Note to self-finding an ovulation test on the toaster does not improve the appetite."
I was a hard decision between that and "So Fam, are you fertile?"

But I was afraid she'd tell me if I wrote down the second one.

Can you tell I'm working Christmas Eve AND Day?

"Ungiftwrap Day."

That's all it is, dudes. Welcome to corporate 1984.

Picture a house invaded by lots of annoying bratlings.

me: *waves at one*
bratling: "Hello!" *smile*
me: *smile*
bratling: "MiniFam says you're bad."
....

I wonder who she heard that from. Thanks a fucking LOT, Fam. What do I do? Seriously! I haven't even been here in four months. Oh gods, I keep my towel in my bedroom and watch TV in the family room. Crucify me, bitch.

I'm not coming back this summer. This farce is pointless.

I wanted to show the girl my tongue piercing and have her ask her daddy if she can have one to help her make money in kindergarten. But I didn't. Because I'm not the kind of person that actively torments other people's spawn.

Wait, what? You live with us?

Evidently not.

My aunt asked me last night if I got my tongue stud for "Sexual Reasons." After I was done laughing, I told her no.

I'm proud of her. I wonder how long it took her to get up the nerve to ask me that.

Thinking Back to Simplicity Week

My junior year of high school we were reading Walden, and I decided to undergo a week without technology for a project and talk about what I learned. I got so much more stuff done that week, read more books I liked, and went outside more often. I was also less stressed.

I've been thinking about that more and more as I got busier and busier and more stressed at Uni, and I decided I needed to do something. I'm taking a month off from the forum and IRC to see how much stress that cuts out of my life. The moment I did it, I felt free. I don't know if I'll go back. I loved the community, and enjoyed the chat room, but so much of my worry and stress and frustration stems from that place.

So at the end of the month I should know whether or not the forum is worth it.

Karmic Retribution

Well, the plane flight back to Saint Louis was quite possibly the worst day of travel I have ever undergone. I'm pretty sure the fact that I made it through security four times without issue came back to haunt me. Because you all know the Wren. Security likes to use the Wren to feel like they're doing their jobs.

I almost missed my ride to the airport, then had to go to two different places to check in and they couldn't find me record. The security line formed -as- I was walking towards it, and when I got to the person who checks your ticket and ID she tells me I've been selected to do a full security search and won't I please step this way? I get put into the "corral" and they drug test my bags and inspect my stuff, then tell me to identify everything I brought with me. Then they wanded me and checked my bra, hips, and crotch for weaponry and drugs. (No, I have -never- stashed a knife in my bra. So this is NOT "clever thinking" on their part.)

Then I get to the gate and they won't let me on the plane because the seat is wrong so I have to get THAT straightened out. Then, on the plane ride, the lady to my right takes up half of MY seat, too.

AAAND then I touch down in LA at the LAX and I have to get to the American terminal instead of the Alaska one but I can't find a fucking map of the airport or information about my flight since all the infoscreens deal with Alaskan flights -only-. So I ask a security guard, go down this escalator, go down one more, and catch a shuttle bus to a different terminal.

Then for some reason people on my flight have to go through a -different- entryway, and as the lady checks my boarding pass she freaks out and won't let me go through and then this other lady comes and she checks my flight and says she'll let me through even though my boarding pass is wrong. (...)

So then I get to the next security line, and I get selected to get a full search done -again-, so this time I get to get felt up by a rather attractive black lady who is suspicious of my pockets.

Then I get to my gate and they're boarding by group numbrs and my ticket doesn't have a group number on it, so I ask about that and they tell me to just get on the plane. So I do, and I settle down, and we get ready to go.

As we're about to leave, the captain gets on and says we need a new nose wheel, so it will be 30 minutes or so before we can depart.

An hour and a half later, we're taxi-ing to the runway. Fifteen minutes later, we take off. Our arrival time has been pushed back from 5:18 to 7:00. We haven't had any food since 11, (and I haven't had any since 8PM the night before and am working off two hours of sleep) and the ladies behind me are obnoxious and loud and keep hitting my seat.

At 6:45 the captain comes back on and tells us the winds we're flying against are too strong and we're not as far as we should be, so we have to land in Kansas City to refuel or we won't make it to Saint Louis.

At 7:10 we're back up in the air, and we arrive at STL more than three hours behind schedule. Everyone on board missed their connecting flights. My nose is so dry from the airplane air that it is bloody.

At least they didn't lose my luggage.

Two finals down, final paper done. One more to go.

So tired. Rose called at 3AM...I didn't even notice. The phone ALWAYS wakes me up.

I'm gonna go sleep until noon.

::EDIT AFTER NAP::
Nap was good, but now legs no worky.
Food makes head better.

"Klept". It's my new verb.

Jane klept the necklace.
Can I klept a piece of your cake?

heh. So many meanings.

::EDIT BEFORE FINAL::
Wow, stretching. Maybe that would fix my back.

For Rose

Here's a breakdown of the faces I've been making more and more for those of you who either don't spend enough time online to get them immediately, or don't really care enough to try.
^^; -happy embarassment. I'm probably blushing.
^_^ -glee. (also ^.^)
>.> -sneaky eyes.
--; -annoyance. (the more ;;;; there are, the sooner you'll be dead.)
-_- -glaring.
=_= -tired glaring. I can feel my hair going grey, you bastard.
9.9 -eye roll. Learn it, already.
-.o -wink.
+.o -twitch.
+.O -more pronounced twitch. Possibly some frothing at the mouth.
T.T -Stare of the Martyr. I put up with sooooo much.
u.u -sad eyes.
o.o -yeep?
O.o -whaaaaa? (if O.o; -I am scared and slightly worried.)
O.O -WHOA.
XP* -I'm sticking my tongue out at you. See the stud?
XD -I am so proud of my smart-ass self.

You're so great at making me feel terrible.

Ever wondered what I'm like at 6AM?

Kakashi: You! Back to bed now!!
No Understandy: whee, mornig1
Kakashi: Morning to you too.....why are you up?
No Understandy: chem exam. masochism. pick! *falls over*
Kakashi: Let me guess....you wanted to get a jumpstart talking to me.
No Understandy: yesh, masochism.
Kakashi: ::catches:: I see.
Kakashi: Eh, you'll do fine on the exam.
No Understandy: you suck. like hwoa.
Kakashi: Oh?
No Understandy: *grins widely* YA!
Kakashi: >_>
Kakashi: <_<
Kakashi: You're grinning. I'm worried. ^_^
No Understandy: *falls ovwr afgain*
Kakashi: ::catches, again::
No Understandy: your gammar saced me!
Kakashi: ....uh huh...
No Understandy: heh. have to think about that one, dontcha.
Kakashi: No. "My grammar scared you."
No Understandy: saved.
No Understandy: you LOSE!!!!!!!!!!
No Understandy: qe
Kakashi: Like no.
No Understandy: like hwoa, yo.
No Understandy: *blinks sleepily7
No Understandy: goo luk
No Understandy: ...
Kakashi: Right.
No Understandy: scheisse
Kakashi: Why is there feed back missing from your story??
No Understandy: read sidebar,thing.
No Understandy: I click DELEETED
No Understandy: *mumbles* whores@
Kakashi: ::grins::
No Understandy: I am losting.
Kakashi: You need some rest sweetie. You're becoming like me.
No Understandy: I am FINE.
No Understandy: perfectly coherey. Not even slurring.
Kakashi: Indeed.
No Understandy: my braibd keeps trying to furn off wothought my permissopm/ I hate it.
Kakashi: ?.o You play a really good drunk online.
No Understandy: not drunk. sleepy as hell
No Understandy: whee!
Kakashi: whee!
No Understandy: not funny. *glares* an you should see me be fake drung in persig.
No Understandy: um.
Kakashi: ::cuddles and lulls:: Go to sleep for another hour....and don't you dare kidney punch me.
No Understandy: I can't. too tired to be all RAAAwren.
Kakashi: When's your test?
No Understandy: nine.
Kakashi: Are you ready for it?
No Understandy: would I be up if I were?
Kakashi: Probably.
No Understandy: no. don't like you that much. *yawns*
Kakashi: How long have you been up?
No Understandy: since five.
No Understandy: my hair is annoyg.
Kakashi: Hehe...why's that?
No Understandy: on my head. hate that.
Kakashi: ?.o
Kakashi: But it makes the Wren look all....humna.
Kakashi: human*
No Understandy: hwA? so? I don;y need to blend in.
No Understandy: oooh, cafeteria open soon. I can feed the beast.
Kakashi: That what you calling yourself?
No Understandy: nk. tummy beast. be wren, silly. I mean me. htt confused ,yself.
Kakashi: For all the coddling and concern I'm showing you now, I have an inkling I'll be paying a price when you are back to normal.
No Understandy: I won re,mebee
Kakashi: And you're trying to study like that?

There are no words

laughs hysterically

no, it doesn't go anywhere.

My life is fucking insane, yo.

Stopwatch Hearts- Delerium

Not that I'm that hard to Please
but lately when I hit the street
it's hum-de-dum
(hum-de-dum-de dum)
When the hard times hit
they Hit the biz
The hardest hit make the best of it

Strong dollar stockbroker right to the bottom
Sink down with your boomtown
High water realtors arrive
With numbers over their eyes
Stopwatch hearts

Good God I love the party-starved
businessmen with stopwatch hearts
They don't beat
(They tick)
They don't beat
(they tick)

Good God I love the party-starved
businessmen with stopwatch hearts
They don't beat
They don't beat

'Round that corner
Down the street
There's a dive where working girls retreat
from their hum-de-dum
(hum-de-dum-de-dum)
So tilt that felt hat to the side
Thrift store 3 for .99
Gonna get me one
Gonna get me one
(and Get it every night)

Strong dollar stockbroker right to the bottom
Sink down with your boomtown
High water realtors arrive
With numbers over their eyes
Stopwatch hearts

Good God I love the party-starved
businessmen with stopwatch hearts
They don't beat
(They tick)
They don't beat
(they tick)

Good God I love the party-starved
businessmen with stopwatch hearts
They don't beat
They don't beat

Good God I love the party-starved
businessmen with stopwatch hearts
They don't beat
(They tick)
They don't beat
(they tick)

Good God I love the party-starved
businessmen with stopwatch hearts
They don't beat
They don't beat

(they tick)

So tilt that felt hat to the side
Thrift store 3 for .99

Gonna get me one
(and Get it every night)

Myarr.

Feeling the urge to start writing again. I know I'll never get published, so I might as well make a novel-blog. Chapter a week or something. We'll see.

Would anyone take the time to read it?
::hint:: ANSWER THE FRIGGING QUESTION.

::EDIT NEXT DAY::
Why the hell not?
Here's the link to the novel-blog. Also note the new area in the sidebar. That will always be there.
click me, bitches.

YES!

Three weeks! My tongue is officially healed!

::EDIT::
Found an old blog and added the archives over. Now this blog goes all the way back to 2002.

I think I know why I'm so fascinated with Zen Buddhism. Often times when I'm studying, I read something that upsets me on a very fundamental level. I'll pause, put down the book, and think for a while. And the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I like it because it's not easy to swallow. You can't just accept it without thought. And a lot of times it doesn't make you feel better or reassure you about anything. And that's good. You have to truly understand what it is saying before you begin to believe. That appeals to me so much more than blind faith. I've always wanted to know the "why." Being told what's going on isn't enough.

::EDIT:: To put all that into perspective? This is a Zen Master. Mommy, can I be enlightenment for Halloween?

Heh. The robes mean nothing, dudes.

Why I should get better at squelching my "Anna Moments"

Kay, so yesterday I went and got celebration ice cream because I didn't FAIL MISERABLY in lab. While I was there, there was a Peer Advising meeting going on, and there was lots of pizza, and it looked really good. And I really wanted some. But the ENTIRE CLASS was filled with blondes in pink, and I was in all black and my hair was eating Karma, so I KNEW someone would see me. But it was RIGHT THERE, and I thought about doing it anyway and seeing if anyone called me on it.

While I was debating, this whitey honkey cracker boy walks up and ganks one. (hella.) I hear someone yell "Dude, Brendan. It's free. Whatever."

So I go "Brendan!" And the bitch turns around and actually notices it was me. So I grin and go "I want some pizza." And he goes "Okay..." and then STARES at me for 45 seconds. I am not kidding. No blinking, no asking "who the fuck are you?"...nothing. And my roomie and Matt are just SITTING THERE laughing. So I say "Don't worry, I have no clue who you are, so don't think you're missing out." And he goes "It's not my pizza."

I know, you ass. I wanted you to get me a slice. You were closer.

Then he stares at me for another 45 seconds, and this blonde girl behind him is glaring at me like....just WHOA. I think she wanted me to die. So he turns around and leaves and I stick my tongue out at the girl and flick it.

Hell Week: After Seven Days, and End in Sight?

Things may finally be settling down after today. Now I have a quiz tomorrow and a presentation Friday (Japanese), a test on Monday (Bio), and an eight-page paper due on Wed (Utopia). I register for classes at 2 on Friday, and Leslie cancelled class, so I'll be out early.

There may be light at the end of the tunnel.

Have decided upon plan to make famly not notice tongue ring. Suck on Jolly Ranchers NONSTOP when they're around. Cover mouth when laughing. It's not like it matters, tho. I just would rather wait to be yelled at.

mmm, bed before midnight. I love having an extra hour to study in the AM on Wednesdays.

Well...

::hopes desperately that her master plan for lab today WORKS:: if not?



::EDIT:: Saved, you lucky bitch.

Things they never warn you about in High School, Part 1.

1) Become a Bio major-- forfeit your life! (psssst- It's even worse if you're PreMed.)

2) The presence or absence of your fave kind of chips at lunch can make or break your day after living on campus food for 3/4 of a semester.

3) Sickness is no longer an excuse. Death is, but only if your parents can supply a doctor's note.

That is my day, in three little numbers. *goes off to work on Chem Lab Report and study for her test and do japanese H/W. *

This is why I should not get bored.

Yum, lotos. Anyone get the ref? I know a lot of you have read the book...

いいえ、 ちょっと。。。

Today? Not so hot. Way too much work.

Fam called and woke me up at noon, so I called her back this evening. She quite pissily asked me why I hadn't been answering her e-mails. I ask her what address she's been sending them to, and when she tells me, inform her that I would have been getting them had she not been sending them to ldwilliams@ups.org. I have given her my e-mail address three times this semester. She has written it down each time. She should also have the letters I've e-mailed her. I don't GET it.

So then I ask her if it's true that they put a set of DOUBLE FRENCH DOORS where my bed goes. (they did.) Then, when I'm trying to explain to her why I wish they would have warned me, or at least asked me what I thought about it, since they told me flat out they weren't going to do anything to my room, she starts screaming at me and says "No offense, but I think I have a right to change my own home without asking you."

...

I hung up, and for once, she didn't call back. She hurt my feelings a lot. I wasn't trying to argue or make a big deal about it, I was just trying to tell her why I was upset. (Besides the fact that there is now NO PLACE TO PUT MY BED.) It's not like I thought I should have the final say. I just wished they had taken the time to get my input on it. My room is all doors on one side and all windows on the other two, so that fourth wall was needed for my bed. Now I have no wall space. And by yelling at me like that she pretty much made it clear that they're just waiting until I move out so they can do what they want with my room, and thus my opinion is less than needed.

Thanks guys. Made me feel really wanted. I know I'm not your kid, but do you have to make me painfully aware of that every chance you get?

Then Chemistry is pissing me off. We have half of a formal lab due Tues, and a lot of it is from these questions we have to do outside of lab. Only we don't have all the info we need to do them. So my day tomorrow will consist of doing the write-up, studying for the test, and figuring out how the fuck I'm supposed to do my next lab, which I have to write myself. I've been working on this shit for hours, and I can't do it anymore.

Finally, I'm very sick. The same damn coughing thing that I always get around this time of year. So I don't have energy, and it's really hard for me to be in a decent mood. I get so frustrated when Im sick. And tonight one of my friends pretty much called me a hypochondriac and then blew me off when I got upset. Maybe he didn't know that he struck a nerve. But it definitely seemed like he didn't give a fuck.

I've had a lot of people tell they think I'm a hypochondriac, and it really bothers me. I'm NOT, you assholes! Okay? Leave me the fuck alone. I have enough mental illnesses for you fucking asshats to be making me paranoid that I'm developing one more. How can the fact that my immune system sucks be such a fucking difficult concept to grasp? Hypochondriacs like to contract rare illnesses, and their symptoms rarely manifest as something that can be treated by medication. For a hypochondriac, it's all in the head. Every time I go to the doctor I end up on medication to treat me-- usually allergy meds, antibiotics or heavy cough supressants. It's genuine illness, and I am SICK of all you fuckers prying and giving me your two cents on the matter.

Yoga and beer=enlightenment.

Here's a sketch I drew on the back of my latest quiz. The green is my professor's comment.



Biologists have the oddest sense of humor. ^^

arf arf

My schedule next semester is going to suck because my science labs will each be an hour longer, so it is IMPOSSIBLE to fit them into any sort of decent schedule. I refuse to take Chem AND Math, which is fine, because I would have to drop Bio and Japanese, which I can't do, because I'm a Bio major and Japanese minor (whim.)

So next semester I may be taking Bio, Calc, Japanese, and my required writing course. Only one lab. That would be so sexy. They only offer my next level of chem at spring semester, tho, so I dunno if that would set me back any.

::EDIT TEN MINUTES LATER::
NO MINOR IN EDUCATION?!!! YOU ALL CAN SUCK ME!

*stumble*

The whole floor thinks me and my roomie are drunk and/or stoned.

No clue why.

I am getting an internship at the zoo here, so help me.

Went to the zoo today. Got to watch a polar bear destroy a barrel, was reminded of the two boys who decided to go swimming with the ones from my hometown. The last few moments of their lives must have not been very cuddly.

The swelling in my tongue is down. I'm not afraid of calls from home anymore, and I'm excited that I can eat solid food now. Recovery was a bit quicker than I expected. And cereal is absolutely terrifying. Like whoa.

So when I go to make Jake change me over to an acrylic barbell (and a size smaller, whee!) Sarah has decided she's going to get her industrial done. Yes, I am a bad influence. Yes, there will be pics.

I need more ear piercings now. Damnit, wasn't the tongue supposed to kill the itch?

Say hello to my little friend

So, yesterday I went and actually got my tongue pierced like I said I would. I was going to do it tomorrow, but I realized yesterday that if I didn't do it then, I would chicken out. I was reading all this stuff online about how much it hurt, bla bla aspiration, tooth chipping, other things that could go wrong...yeeeah.

So we went up to the House of Tattoo! (cue southern culture on the skids) and waited for "Jake" to come back from the store with his sandwich. Which he didn't eat when he got back. He pierced us instead.

I let Matt go first. He decided to get his lip done instead of his dick. (And he took his lip ring out today. Go figure.) He didn't seem to be in too much pain after the fact, either, so I tried not to freak out about mine.

Then it was my turn. Jake calls me ever, I get in the seat, and he pins one of those little bib thingies dentists use around my neck. See, sometimes your mouth spontaneously drools during piercing. A lot. He also put a tray in my lap.

Then he dries off my tongue with gauze and looks at it, then marks it with a small dot of purple that tastes a bit funny. I ask him what it was, and he tells me it's Egyptian Violet dye. It's used to mark where he's going to ram the needle, and it also an anifungal agent. Double threat!

While I'm trying to not drool on anything, he sets up his instruments. Pulls a hollow needle out of the sterile wrapper, etc. I freaked at the size of the needle. Then he grabs the tongs, dries my tongue off one more time, and clamps it, all the while being very calm and hot.

He has me stick my tongue out and breathe deeply a few times, then he tells me "we'll do it at the end of this exhale" and JAB. Needle goes through the top of the tongue and down. I felt a slight pinch and that was it. It stung a little when he put the post through, (he pushes the post in and shoves the needle out onto the tray. It was sickeningly awesome) and a bit more while he was moving it around to put the balls on. Then he has me swish and get down.

I check my surprised tongue out in the mirror. "Interesting."

Then Matt gives me a big hug and we hop around excidedly for a bit, then go off to get stuff to take care of our new piercings.

So how does it feel? Here's how it looked an hour after I got it done:

You can see the dye he used to mark the spot. And, a bit of swelling on the top of the tongue around the piercing. Today that swelling is a bit more pronounced, and you can't see the post of the barbell at all. Evidently after today everything is supposed to be all normal, tho. Swelling will go down, etc.

It doesn't hurt like I thought it would. It's a bit tender, and sometimes talking can make it achey, but ice and salt water help a lot. I can't take ibuprofen for the swelling because it gives me nosebleeds, so it may take a little longer for it to go down. We'll see.

But I can talk pretty normally. I'll have moments when it's impossible to understand me, but for the most part you can't even tell. I've had the most problem with T, D, C, and S. You just have to concentrate carefully on forming the words, since the tongue has to be positioned a bit differently.

Eating feels weird. It's difficult to tell where the piercing is when I chew, and I bit down on it once. I NEVER WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN. Also, silverware is an adventure. And ice melts around the piercing, so I sometimes have to carefully get the cube away. Pudding is impossible to eat right now. It is too thick and puts too much pressure on the post for me to be able to move it to the back of my mouth without a lot of effort and discomfort. Jello is fine, and so is ice cream.

It's really funny. I can tell how swollen my tongue is because it actually feels TIGHTER on top when it's not. So odd.

Surprisingly enough, I haven't been victimized by too many lewd comments. Everyone is really surprised tho. The most I've gotten from anyone in the dorm is "it's hot. And dude, you can talk. Pot would help the pain, you know. Do you smoke pot?" (Yes, said by the stoner I threw out of the room a few days ago for yelling at me about not smoking.)

People out here freak out over piercings. I guess I got used to it in STL. A lot of these kids seem REALLY sheltered and, uh...not used to hair dye and piercing. Daryl walked up to me one day and was like "Hey, should I get my EAR pierced?" all serious like I was going to gasp in shock and shriek "your EAR?!" I just giggled and went "Aww, how cute. He wants his ear pierced." He sulked for a while.

But today in Bio lab I had an incident with my TA. He asked me why I had ice with me, since we're not supposed to have food in lab. I told him I got my tongue pierced. That was that. Then he walked by later and said something ( I think it was "are we working?" cuz Sarah and I were laughing really hard) that prompted me stick my tongue out at him, piercing and all. He looks at me and goes "Keep your tongue in your mouth unless you're going to be using it. And you're definitely not going to be using it on me."

I blink in surprise a few times and say "well, that was a bit crude."
Kevin looks at him reproachfully and says "yeah, that really was."
The TA stares at us both for a minute, then goes "what? what?"
I started to get kind of pissed and insulted/offended. What the hell. You're my fucking TA, and not only do you say something dumb about my piercing, but you don't understand why you shouldn't. So I give him one of my looks.
Then he mutters to Kevin "get your mind out of the gutter. I was talking about kissing."
I glance back up at him and go "so was I." Then it sinks in what he meant instead of kissing and I got even angrier. He stares at me for a few more moments, and I feel this desperate urge to leave the room, so I tell Sarah I'm gonna go get a drink of water.

The fucker FOLLOWED ME. INTO the hall. He has obviously just figured out that he could be in a LOT of trouble. "Communication problems are not solved by walking away, Wren."

I wanted to tell him that we weren't having a communication problem, but that he needed to learn some tact, but my tongue hurt, so I just looked at him. Plus, he was being really loud. There were classes in session, and they were interested in what was going on.

"I didn't mean to offend you. I didn't mean it like that."
"It's fine," I say, and walk into the girls' bathroom. Right. No I'm sorry, just 'heh, I wasn't harassing you, ok? You obviously misinterpreted my meaning, so I'm not to blame.'

It wouldn't have been quite as bad taken out of context with his character. He knows a lot of people think he's a cutie, and he seems to think that at the ripe old age of "almost 22" he has attained some kind of wisdom lacking in eighteen-year-old girls. (He likes to tell me that a lot.) He frequently tells me I'm too young to hang out with him, just at random. I've never shown any interest in it at all. He mentions my age as much as he can. It's almost creepy. So then add THIS to it, and it's like...dude. Learn when to shut up. Not everyone likes you. So stop acting like I want you. You don't do it for me, little boy. I don't care HOW old you think you are.

Ugh. ugh ugh ugh.

I wonder now what he meant when he asked "So how's that piercing working out for you?"

Divine Words of Wisdom:

"I- OUCH." -Sarah

b f;sidgfba'rgtbaer;fb jr,teruotger't!!!!!!!!

*shivers*

It's too cold to go get breakfast. I'll wait until lunch.

College is for people who didn't know any better.

A quote from my chemistry lab: Some famous chemists used all their senses in making their observations, but this adversely affected their life expectancy. Don't try to tatse chemicals, and don't dip your finger in them.


A quote from my bio lab:Unfertilized eggs are notably suceptible to sperm. (Please don't ask about the lab itself; I'd rather not talk about it...)

My conclusions:
CHEMISTRY- Killing them off, one moron at a time. Drink me!
BIOLOGY- Making you painfully aware of the facts of life that can fuck you up.

Soup, why hast thou forsaken me?

::edit after Bio test::

A smattering of the answers my poor Prof has to grade:

Q: Beer producers exploit yeast because it uses alcoholic fermentation. If the yeastwere to revolt, why couldn't it form lactic acid instead? (okay, she set herself up.)
A: Yeast isn't special enough to produce lactic acid. (I found out later that my roommate said the exact same thing. O.o;)

Q: Besides location, identify one difference between the mitochondrial matrix and the thylokoid membrane in the chloroplast.
A: The thylokoid membrane is totally green.

Q: Name something besides nitrogen that could have been used to mark DNA in the bla bla experiment.
A: I reccommend a radioactive highlighter.

They all had pictures, too, of my comic characters being insane, so she knows I wasn't serious. I'd like her to know I'm not dumb, I was just DYING. IN HER CLASSROOM.

*groans*

Why did I get out of bed? Oh, right. I have two quizzes and a lab today.

My back is starting to hurt from coughing in my sleep, and my lungs are doing that lovely "We're gonna ache all the time now, remember us!" thing. The only food that doesn't randomly make my stomach churn is soup and tea. I want crackers, but I can't walk up to get them. I have a movie that's due.

At least I'll hopefully be able to finish my Japanese test early enough to come back to the room and sleep before lab. And then sleep after lab. And tonight.

I don't want to get back on my sick schedule of constant napping and staying up all night, tho, becuause of the roomie. I don't want to mess her up, too.

::Edit after lab::
Wll, that SUCKED.

The sickness begins

Well, maybe my dreams of health once I moved up here won't be realized. I'm very sick again, and I missed all my classes today. But, I have my insane amount of chem lab work done, so all is good. I am so sick of writing my own labs.

Ugh. I need to go have a lie down.

Well, it made Kei laugh hysterically. Another joke meant for the informed.

My "t"s are starting to look like "na"s.

na= ナ

Kei: "Yeah, that happens."

ANNA! HELP!

MY BED SMELLS LIKE THE GUY WHO SAT ON IT TO WATCH A MOVIE. That is NOT COOL. He is not entitled to leave his scent on my things! Oh my God! This is going to be the weirdest night ever!

ANNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS WHY I AM TYPING IN MENTAL CAPITALS!

::Edit after first sleep attempt::
He's sleeping with me. In spirit. I want to die. The pillows AND the blankets smell like him.

カタカナが きらい です。 ＝＿＝

しゅくだい　を　しました。　わたしは　じょうず　じゃ　ありません。いま　クラスへ　いきます。

Oh, by the way

I evidently go to school with the corpse of Ted Bundy's first murder victim.

Next time I see "chocolate chocolate tower" on a menu, I'll believe it.

So today was the Outback-thank-you-for-all-the-time-you-spent-with-me-at-the-ER dinner. I have never eaten so much food in my LIFE. I got the grilled chicken sandwich (two words to add to the List of Things I Will NEVER Say Aloud: "Hooly-dooly" and "chook"), devoured 1/3 of a bloomin' onion, some of that YUMMY FREAKING BREAD (!!!) and then we all decided we wanted dessert.

...But we couldn't compromise, so we all got our own desserts. Sarah got a cheescake, Daryl got a sundae, and I ordered the "chocolate chocolate tower-NEW!" with a scoop of ice cream ("hooly-dooly" *shudders*)).

Ok. So soon the waitress is bringing over the tray of desserts. I see the sundae, I see the cheescake, and then there's this...THING. It is the biggest fucking piece of chocolate cake I have ever seen, and there is an Outback steak knife in it, buried to the hilt. This was, like, the Titan of cakes. And the most perfect thing I have ever seen.

Daryl sees it and a look of mild panic flows across his face. I am proud to say he knows me well enough now to understand that giving me a slab of cake and my own knife to play with is high up on the list of Bad Things that Shouldn't Happen in Public.
"It has a knife," he says urgently to the waitress, watching me quietly squee and bounce about on my side of the booth.
"Yes, it does," says the (patient) waitress.
"No, you don't understand. It has a knife."
Sarah giggles, and the waitress looks at Daryl like he's a freak and then wanders off.

I try my best to conquer the mountain of cake before me, but it takes three of my bites to eat through all the layers of the damn thing. And I swear I can watch it regenerating.

So once everyone else is done with their dessert, they look at my cake and ask if I even ate it, to which I hiss angrily and sulk. We get a box, and I take it back to the dorm.

I have a coughing fit at the base of the stairs, so Sarah and I decide to use the elevator and go walking through the first floor hall. There are signs hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the hall to about head level that pretty much say "I'M BORED!" and point to this one room. Sarah and I pop in and give him some cake, then talk for a while, then head back up to the room after giving him our room # and extension.

A little over an hour later he comes knocking and asks us to watch a movie with him, so we grab pitch black and head down. (The bastard still has it.) He's very touchy, too, (he found out I was ticklish. =_=;;;;)so by the end of the night I had pinned him twice and bitten him once. I was being nice, since I didn't know him. Otherwise he'd be badly scratched and probably have a bruised kidney. And I will KILL anyone who brings up The Nose Incident.

So after he tries to get us to watch Fern Gully, too, we flee up to our rooms. She and I were both sick of people. Well, then David and Andrew find us and beg to use our microwave. (Munchies.) Turns out Andrew is a rather belligerent stoned drunk, while David is rather laid back. Andrew was yelling at me because I had no interest in pot (*rolls eyes* because we all know I'm uptight and blah blah blah...) I had to tell him to shut the fuck up and remember whose chips he was eating a few times. Finally, he pissed me off:
Me: Give me my chips and get out of my room.
Andrew: "Sorry."
Me: "Chips. Now."
Andrew: *hands them over*
Me: "Okay, that's part one. Now get off the chair and get out."
Andrew: *gestures at David* "I'm waiting for him to get up. Let's go, man."
Me: "I never told him to get out. Just you."
Andrew: "Oh."
Me: "Alright...so go."
So he gets up and asks David to come start the movie with him.
David: "I'll be there in a few, man."

Heh. Heh. hehhehhehhehheh.

Seattle!

So, went to Seattle yesterday. We took the bus up, and that was quite possibly the highlight of the trip. All of it was fun, but the bus? Just WOW. It was one of the really big ones that has the bendable area in the middle so it can actually make it around corners. Well, there are seats in it, so me, Sarah, and Daryl all sat down in them. It was FANTASTIC. When we went around corners, our seats would spin, and one side of the area would expand and the other would fold up and WHEE! It was like being on a Tilt-a-Whirl. It was an hour long bus ride, and despite all the spinning I managed to read and not get motion sick. Sadly, the bus on the way back was not as big, so we just sat in the normal seats.

In Seattle we grabbed some coffee and walked a few blocks down to the waterfront and hung out there for a few hours,grabbed some pizza from a pizzaria run by a flock of hot Italians who refused to let us leave "until we had sampled at least one thing" (depends on what's on the menu....),then toured the aquarium. They had these really neat touch pools. I got to touch one of those coral flowers with the tendrils, but it curled up and wilted when I poked it and it made me feel really bad. Other than that it was really fun, and Sarah and I found this one really trippy fish we wanted to steal and take back to the dorm.

An amusing conversation:
Me: (to Sarah) Oh, I left my cell back at the dorm. I was supposed to call Tim if I felt like I was going to commit murder.
Sarah: *Understanding nod and glance up at Daryl, who is walking in front of us*
Daryl: Why would you want to commit murder?
Me: I don't have a reason yet.
Daryl: Do you think you'll have one?
Me: Depends on who feels like being an asshole today.

He didn't get it.

Venting

I couldn't say it to you at lunch, so I'll say it now. Fuck you. Do you even understand how easy it is to make me feel responsible for your pain? I don't deserve it.

::EDIT 9:13 PM::
One of my friends just called to tell me he's about to throw a shopping cart off the roof of his dorm.

*chuckles*

Totally Worthless

So I sent my aunt the dates I would need to go to Ohayo, the airport code, and a rough estimates of the times I would like to show up and leave. Two weeks pass. Today I get a call.

"Yeah, I'm about to make the reservations for you to go to Cincinatti-"
"Columbus."
"Right, whatever. But Unc and I decided you can only stay for two days."
"Why?"
"We're paying for your hotel, and we don't want to pay for all four nights."
"No, you're paying for my plane ticket. I'm paying for my hotel. And it only costs $100 for all four nights."
"Oh. Well, you may have to come back to STL on the 16th."
"Why?"
I never found out why. Instead: "When do classes start back up? Will you be missing school?"
"No. Look, I gave you the times and the dates. Now PLEASE make the reservations?"
"How will you get back to UPS? What if you get in late? When do classes restart?"
"The 18th. And I'll take the shuttle back."
"Okay, I'll make the reservations."

...

And I just got a call back.
"When do classes end?"
"I have to be out of the dorm by noon of May 14th."
"Will finals be over by then? They'd have to be."
I pause, since she answered her own question.
"So will you have a place to sleep on the 13th?"
"The dorm closes at noon on the 14th. I would assume so, unless my dorm explodes."
"Oh, noon on the 14th? I didn't know that."

Proof that I go to school with 2,700 white boys.

I am sick of this bullshit. Either you want me to be honest, or you don't. There is no fucking middle ground.

quirkified!

Well, the bed is made, the trash is out, the boxes are broken down, the floor is swept, the desk is clean, so is my laptop, the laundry is folded, folders on my comp are organized, so are the ones under my bed in the crate, the recycling is taken out, and the bookshelf and entertainment center are dusted.

I'm saving my zen garden and fountain for tomorrow. Maybe I'll mop.

My roommmate told me today she benifits from my stress. It's true; when I'm upset, I clean maniacally.

<3 @ Daryl.

I just spent six hours in the ER with a friend of mine.

*collapses into bed*

::EDIT WHILE IN BED::
Well, Sarah is eating before we form Nap Room, so I'll go into more detail.

Daryl is a diabetic, and he also has some sort of protein defect, so his blood clots and he has to go on thinners. Well, for the past few days his chest has been bothering him, and that's usually a sign that something is wrong. His doctors are closed on the weekends, and last night he was in really bad shape. Sarah and I were really worried about him. He was acting kind of funky and it was obvious he was in pain. So we told him that if he still felt bad in the morning we'd take him to the hospital. (His mother agreed.)

So he woke us up at 9:30 and we got ready, grabbed some homework, and went. We were kind of worried, because once the nurse interviewed him they took him straight back and started running tests and taking blood. They also put him on a pretty massive pain killer.

Well, five hours later they let him go. His blood was thickening, but he caught it early enough so that there was no clotting. He's on Vicoden now, and they're going to tweak his thinner dose.

*sighs* He makes me feel bad for whining about being always sick. At least I don't have a chronic, lifelong disease. He's diabetic and has this blood disorder, but he looks insanely healthy, and he's a mid-distance swimmer. Bah. I fail.

Highlight of the trip? Well, I got most of my homework done, and Vampire Baby was interesting. It's a long story, but nappytime calls.

Tired=EVIL

So this morning I am tired as all hell (still am) and feeling slightly sadistic. I look at the clock and notice that it's 9:30 AM.

Suddenly I get this great idea to harrass Rupe. See, he was all happy last night while I was bitterly staying awake and doing homework about his four-day weekend. =_= baaaad time to tell me.

So I gave him an 8:30 AM wake-up call.
Rupe: uhh....hello?
Me: Good morning! Did I wake you up?
Rupe: Uhm, just a little.
Me: Damnit! I wanted to wake you up a lot.
Rupe: ...
Me: class time! Bye!
Rupe: ...


It was so satisfying. But I wish I had thought of it earlier.

::EDIT BEFORE NAP:: This is what happens when the Wren is deprived of sleep:
<

THANK YOU.

I finally got all my money back from that fucker in Madrid. The account is now closed, and the recovered funds are safely in my saving account for use at Ohayocon. *squee*

Oh, and one note about my dorm's oddities. We have a weekly flier called "The Potty Press" that gets put up in the bathroom stalls at eye level. This week it's full of optical illusions, so Jesus is staring at me whilst I pee. It's a bit disconcerting.

::EDIT::
One thing that bothers me: people who like to constantly state their religion. And I mean state as in bring it up more than is necessary. Whatever you believe is fine with me, as long as you don't purposefully use it as a method to cause tension or put me down.

"Oh, I don't believe in that. [I'm a ______.]"
"[Because I'm a ______,] I believe everyone is _______." It's information that is easily left implied. A simple statement of belief will gain more respect from me than just spewing denominational names. It shows me that you understand your doctrine, not that you simply hide behind it and use it to call attention to yourself.

It's kind of offensive to have this stuff constantly thrown in my face. It makes me wonder too much about whether or not what I say will upset the person, etc. For example, today one of my friends was in a bad mood, so I grabbed his hand and wrote "=) Karma!" (Good Karma) on it. You know, to give him a jump-start on not being a suckass. Well, he looks at it, chuckles condescendingly, and says to me in this snotty little voice. "I don't believe in Karma, Wren. Not everyone has the same beliefs, remember?"

What, You can say "bless you" when I sneeze, but I can't wish you good Karma?

....

Here's my belief.

FUCK.

YOU.

I wanted to wipe it off his hand mommy-spit style. Just BLLEAAAAAAGH- there's your Karma, you ASS.

*chuckles* I don't even think he knows it annoyed me. I'm good at hiding it. Maybe I should work on that. Or just stop being annoyed in general.

Everyone is broken, and a mountain is exploding on me.

*sighs and goes to bed*

So, it has come to the point in Chem where I either spend three hours a day typing up my notes, doing homework problems, and taking notes from the book to supplement, or just focus on lab work and call my class grade a lost cause.

It's just that hearing phrases like "molecular geometry" is so damn DAUNTING.

*sighs and goes off to set up her lab notebeook for today's VSEPR lab

I just memorized thirty katakana

*clutches head* allow me to share my pain with you.

a - i - u- e- o= ア　イ　ウ　エ　オ

ka- ki-ku-ke-ko= カ　キ　ク　ケ　コ

sa-shi-su- se-so= サ　シ　ス　セ　�
ta-chi-tsu-te-to= タ　チ　ツ　テ　ト

na- ni-nu-ne-no= ナ　ニ　ヌ　ネ　ノ

ha- hi- fu-he-ho= ハ　ヒ　フ　ヘ　ホ

these are all different characters:ナ、オ、ホ、フ、ク、ケ、ヌ、タ、ネ、シ、ツ、ソ、ノ、ヒ、セ、イ、チ

Tomorrow I will remember NAAAASHHHIIING!

::EDIT AM::
....miiIiiiigraaiine...

Looking Ahead, or something. Maybe feeling dead...

mmm. So I am definitely moving up here for good as soon as I can.

I buckled down and finished it. Time to sleep and be all content and happy.

*tears at hair*

I'm a mere two pages or less away from completion. Why can I not FINISH THE STORY?

*coughs and starts laughing* Never mind.

"He secretly wants to be a black mamba"

Drunk People

Wren: have you been hearing the randomly screaming girl? who is either dying or having sudden orgasms in the parking lot while walking down the steps?
Michelle: no o_o
Wren: GOOD!

My own country, indeed.

Why do people make me feel so alone?

Language fails me on a daily basis. It's such a lonely way to communicate.

Stickin' it to the Admins

hehehe. Evidently UPS has never heard of myTunes.

I have four more gigs of music on my HD now. Ooops. >.>

Dido Rocks My World

Two weeks away it feels like the whole world should've changed
But I'm home now
And things still look the same
I think I'll leave it till tomorrow to unpack
Try to forget for one more night
That I'm back in my flat on the road
Where the cars never stop going through the night
To a life where I can't watch sunset
I don't have time
I don't have time
[Chorus:]
I've still got sand in my shoes
And I can't shake the thought of you
I should get on, forget you
But why would I want to
I know we said goodbye
Anything else would've been confused but
I wanna see you again
Tomorrow's back to work and down to sanity
Should run a bath and then clear up the mess I made before I left here
Try to remind myself that I was happy here
Before I knew that I could get on the plane and fly away
From the road where the cars never stop going through the night
To a life where I can watch sunset and take my time,
Take all our time
[Chorus]
I wanna see you again
Two weeks away, all it takes to change and turn me around I've
fallen
I walked away and never said that I wanted to see you again
[Chorus x2]
I wanna see you again
I wanna see you again

"The Taco"

So last night I decided to try a UPS taco from our mexican place. I've eaten from the deli, both pizza places, the italian, pacific rim, the grille, and the "full fare" (no clue) sections, so I thought...eh. Chicken taco.

So I got two. Only they were really big. And since they wrap them in butcher paper, I took the uneaten one back to our room and put it in the fridge.

A few hours later I open the fridge to get my iced tea, and am met with this waft of TACO. Like, bad fart taco. And I was thinking..."did I actually EAT that?" Within seconds the whole room just REEKED. It was terrible.

We opened the fridge once more last night when Kei was over, and I tried to convince my roommate to let me throw it away, but she was all "NO. I'll eat it, ok?" And I responded: "If our room smells this bad now, what it it going to be like when you MICROWAVE that thing?"

...

So today. Sarah comes back from classes and opens the fridge to get her water. I'm playing Tetris and I have to hit pause because the smell is so bad that my eyes are watering and I feel ill. I joke that her water might taste like taco. She takes a sip, swallows it, and gives her bottle this LOOK. "EWWWWWWWWW!"

Yeah. The smell was *THAT* strong. Eau de flavoring. She left the room to washher nalgene out a few times, and I sat there, breathing the stench.

She walks back in and gags, then proceeds to grab her Febreeze and spray it randomly around the room. We were too afraid to open the fridge to get at the taco.

Then we tried popping some Kettle Corn. Didn't really help the smell. I knew that I couldn't throw it away in the big trash can in the hall, because that would just make the ENTIRE DORM smell like taco.

So I told Sarah to hold her breath, flung the fridge open, and hurled it out our open window.

We're leaving to get baking soda tomorrow.

I told Kei later that the taco flew. We decided that the "Tacoma Aroma", usually attributed to the local paper mill, is actually caused by hundreds of grossed out freshman girls flinging cold college cafeteria tacos out windows.

Baron, this hurt my tummy

Baron: actually, forget it.
Baron: that train of thought was STUPID.
Wren: no
Baron: like here's me being stupid. O_O BLAH.
Baron: here's you being you: =_= whatchu gonna do, dumbass.
Baron: O_O I like pies!
Baron: you- =_= *stabs*
Wren: WHAT. THE FUCK. ARE YOU TYPING AT M- yes.

Ground state

cross-reference.

That is all.

I need a hug.

I'm not doing well today. And I have writer's block. I have managed to write half a page in two hours.

Ugh. Is it really Monday?

Plato and Brand New

Realized something in my Utpoia/Dystopia class today. The band Brand New has obviously read Plato.

See, on page 134 of the Republic Plato likens the citizens of his ideal city to a herd of animals, like sheep. He says they should be controlled, protected, milked for resources, and bred.

He also likens the whole city to one body. In other words, everyone works together at the will of the HEAD.

Now watch sic transit gloria. (No, it's cool. Really.)

Eh? Eh?

*laughs hysterically*

I got to see my Biology teacher do "the phospholipid dance" today.

*starts crying*

YE GODS!!

Ian, is that you buddy?




Jasper's right. That's almost scary.

Photos from my dorm

Sarah finds it impossible to hang up posters. Before we put on Donnie Darko, she decided to hang the POTC poster we bought today. This is what happened:


The poster was insanely crooked on the wall, and also not fully unrolled. She was laughing too hard to fix it, tho.

After Donnie Darko was over I noticed it was no longer there. Her response to my query? "I decided it would be best if I uh...did it tomorrow morning."

And this is why Wren should not get lazy and empy a cup of tea out her window...Yes, that is someone's basement window.


::EDIT NEXT MORNING::

Never send a woman to do a man's job.

2:30AM is not an excuse for this

Jasper: Meh. Guns are sexy.
Wren: yeah, they are...but I prefer knives.
Jasper: And I prefer cardboard...Cardboard wins.And I have a reason, too.
Wren: oh?
Jasper: *nods* What happens when you cut a cardboard tube in half? (Which, obviously, you can't do to a knife)
Wren: ugh. fine.
Jasper: ^_^ you know I'm obsessed with dual-wielding...
Wren: one phallic object just isn't enough, eh?
Jasper: One's more than enough. The others are just icing on the cake.
Wren: mmm, iced phallus.
Wren: >.> It's late.
Jasper: >.<>.>
Wren: ......=_=;
Wren: been around a lot of those recently, eh?
Jasper: no, not really. Though I've never been around /any/ iced ones...
Wren: you haven't lived....
Jasper: *imagines some sort of coffee drink...*
Jasper: >.<

BWAHAHA!

FINALLY fixed my column formatting problem. Now I have enough room to post decently-sized pics. I shall redo and repost the gun pics now. I wanted to put more up, anyway.

Is this the way family members are supposed to communicate?

When I read this, I asked her if she knew "mandatory" and "not optional" meant the same thing.

She was not amused.

A Taste of Humanities 122

*sits down with some ramen and bad anime music* aaa, Friday. Let me tell you a story, my child.

Once upon a time the staff at the University of Puget Sound thought it would be a simply FANTASTIC idea to enroll me in the class of Professor William Breitenbach.

This man assigns us papers weekly, and writes things like this on the requirements sheets:
Words like 'explanations' and 'speculation' are vampire nouns. They are not really nouns; they are verbs that arise at midnight and and take on the appearance of nouns. And when thy strike, they suck the life out of the sentence's verb, leaving behind a pale and bloodless corpse. AVOID VAMPIRE NOUNS! PUT SOME BLOOD IN YOUR VERBS!!

When he says the word "oedipal", I without fail hear "edible". And every time he says the phrase "the dark side"...which is surprisingly often, he widens his eyes and flails his hands around his ears. Which is amusing, since he looks like this.

-_-;;

There's a sign over the third floor (my floor) girls' bathroom door that says "closed for repairs". One of the toilets yesterday decided to perpetually flush.

On the second floor there's a sign that says "Bathroom closed from 8AM-6PM. Please use bathroom upstairs."

The first floor bathroom is closed for cleaning for the next hour.

...Basement it is.

::EDIT DURING PAPER-WRITING::
I was telling Baron that one of the chemistry teachers here looks like Merlin, so I did a site search to get a pic. Oddly enough, this is what came up.

Two more points to prove that I'm a loser

In IRC. As usual, being dumb:


* Caff|FinalizingNotes is now known as Caff|BetaDecay
wolfie: Beta Decay?
* Caff|BetaDecay converts a neutron to a proton and spits out an electron
kyhm-sama: Caff is an aspiring nuclear physicist, mebbe?
Caff|BetaDecay: O.o too much chem h/w.....my brain is dying...
* Caff|BetaDecay is now a more stable nuclide.
ptlis: I assume you're referring to beta radiation?
ptlis: Ah, yes.
ptlis: Caff wins for nerdiness.
* Caff|BetaDecay is now known as Caff|Nitrogen-14
Caff|Nitrogen-14: mmmm, stability.
Caff|Nitrogen-14: look, it's not my fault I have to take bio AND chem this semester
Thinny: Bah.
kyhm-sama: bio. yech ^_^
* Caff|Nitrogen-14 is a bio major, thank you.
kyhm-sama: ... bio. poor Caff. ^_^


And then, for some slapstick comedy...

I'm sitting in my desk chair, which rocks, when my RA comes in with some postcards and says "your door is scary." (I have a me+gun pic up there.) I leaned back in the chair and start talking. "No, it's just me with a gun. See, I was afraid of guns-uh, uuuuh!-"

The chair keeps going and I tip backwards, but I manage to stay sitting up and shift my legs, so I end up on the floor, sitting upright on the backrest of the chair with my legs over the armrest, totally unhurt, and still talking. "-when I went up there, so it got me over the fear."

My RA stares at me in confused shock. "Are you ok?"

I reply "Yeah, I knew that was going to happen someday." I look over my shoulder at my roommate, who is laughing hysterically.

My RA will never forget me.

Why college is pissing me off

In Biology we're studying Chemistry. In Chemistry we're studying Astronomy and Physics. In my Humanities class we're studying Biology. WHAT THE HELL, PEOPLE???

And, the obligatory convo quote, since I've recently gone without.
Wren: *laughs* I had chem lab today.
Rupe: how was that?
Wren: I made test tubes foam and explode for three hours, then went off to work on my communal sex paper.How do you THINK?
Wren: *giggles* and test tubes are sexy.
Rupe: *laughs*
Wren: yeah, I'm a science major.

The Many Travels of Pirate Wren, (alias Sailor Winky). ARRRRR!- 9/3/04

I am so proud of myself! This is the first time I have ever traveled 100% alone and unaided. I made my own plane reservations, my own arrangements to get to the airport, etc. I had to answer to no one to get me out here. True, if the family found out what I was up to they’d die- only after killing me, of course- but they really have no say. I did this with my own money. I have no reason to tell them.

Where am I going? I know many of you forum people have been wondering, and by now I’m sure you know. I’m up in Alaska visiting Rupe and learning how to shoot all his guns. And, evidently, how to clean them.

Well, that’s where I’ll be in a little under five hours, anyway. Right now I’m sitting at gate C9 in the Sea-Tac airport, listening to the people at gate C11 whine about plane inspections. They noticed a “wrinkle” in the plane, damnit. Do you really WANT to get on it before they check it out?

….My plane had better not land with a “wrinkle”. What the hell is that supposed to mean, anyway? What can “wrinkle”, and why is it only taking them 30 minutes to inspect?

*wonders why the fuck she chose Alaska Air* Oh well, at least check-in took me less than three minutes. Yay for e-tickets. ワイ！

Agh, I’m doing the rambling airport blog thing. Sorry, you whiney people.


9/6/04
Well, I’m back in the airport. I know I posted some pics from shooting, but I didn’t really have time to talk about stuff.

Ye gods, I am tired. I have to stay awake on the plane to get all my homework done, tho. So…I hit up a Starbucks on the way to the gate.

Rupe is really cool. He has a good sense of humor and was nice enough to laugh at my really bad lesbian jokes/angsty internal monologues when we were watching Noir.

The shooting on Saturday was…kinda scary at first. A lot of the guns people were using around us were really fucking loud, and some of Rupe’s more…er…powerful guns attacked me with air when they got fired. You know that feeling when a bass drum is hit really hard when it’s close by you? Yeah. Imagine a gun doing that. It almost hurt.

Hehehe. But then I slowly got over it. I have a lot of bruising on my shoulder from shooting, but we all know I don’t consider something fully completed or utterly fun unless it leaves some sort of mark on my body, soo…yeah.

His Calico is really cute. But my favorite is Jordan, his new gun, which I yelled at him a lot for buying. But no more. ^_^

I’m not planning on buying a gun or anything, but it was fun, and who knows, I might wanna do it again sometime. And yes, all you evil people, Rupe is alive, unstabbed, and as far as I can tell, still mentally sound. So shut up. It is possible to survive the trainwreck that is me with weaponry.

Maybe it’s because I was mostly uncaffeinated. Who knows. I’d like to give myself the benefit of the doubt, tho.

Hmmm, who knew?

But I still like knives better. Really. RAAA.







[These are pics of me with guns that have since been deleted from the internet.]

*cries really hard*

I'm such a fucking moron.

Radio Free Zerg

PHOTO RUSH!!!
This is what happens when I get bored and discover that playing with light is fun.

RAAAAAAAA!


I'd make a good boy.


I defy gravity.


That is the light of my awesomeness. How faint.


Trying to do something with light metals and a laptop screen. I like my earring.



Not all of these were taken at once. I get bored a lot. And I'm tired enough to be willing to humiliate myself right now. [These photos are no longer hosted. This is why I now have a server.]

Procrastination.

A letter to Dove that Sarah (roomie), Daryl (Alaskan), and I thought up, since they offer to replace your product if you are not fully satisfied.

To Whom It May Concern:
My milk chocolate Dove bar, UPC code #4767700118, failed to give me an instant orgasm upon consumption. I was wondering it it would be possible to replace it with a bar that might more fully satisfy me?

Thank you.

My roommate offered to call the hotline and tell say that Ben and Jerry's satisfied her every time, so why couldn't Dove?

Speaking of Sarah, here's a pic:


And finally, a sad moment in my life- Here's the joke I made in Bio class today. Note that only the Bio majors laughed:
"My white blood cells form covalent blonds with bacteria."

At least we all know why I'm sick, now. *giggles. A lot.*

Hmmmmm.

I am quickly getting used to college. When I came up here on the campus visit I felt out of place and on display in the cafeteria. Now all the masses of people don't faze me. And I kind of don't mind all the homework. It's different because it's voluntary. I get to come to class prepared. Yeah, so I'm not too happy about the rough draft due Friday, but...

And Japanese is easy. I know all the ひらがな, of course, so the しゅくだい　is really easy. I can get it done in five minutes. My writing skills are a bit rusty, tho. And by a bit I mean very. As is my reading. But that's what I work on in class while they're learning pronunciation. Ludden-せんせい is a very good teacher. She's Japanese, and speaks English perfectly, just with a mild accent. And she's funny. That might be the painkillers from her kidney surgery, tho.

The schedule is nice, too. But homework kills a lot of my time. Maybe it will get easier as I learn to time manage, tho. It has, after all, only been two days.

Ugh. My grandpa called. I suppose I should get in touch with him. Someday. Even if he is a self-righteous bastard.

Off to breakfast with ブローヂくん。　(Gio.)

Oh, before I go: Last night I was helping Daryl set up his bed thingy. He lofted it, put the desk under it, and closed it off with a red suede blanket thingy. While we were putting up the blanket thingy the bed started to collapse, and my roommate and I started screaming. Parker walks by and goes "Hey dude, are there GIRLS in your room?" just in time to see us dive out from under the bed. We fixed it, but we broke it again, just in time for Tom to run by and actually help us hold up the matress.

I think Daryl enjoyed it all immensely.

Dorm Antics

May I present to you, boys and girls....THE DETERGENT SLIDE!

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A Familial Correspondance

So I wrote an e-mail to the family telling them about my classes.

Fam-

Thought you might want to know my school schedule, so here it is:

Monday, Wednesday, Friday:
9-9:50- Chemistry 110 (Not Wed)
10-10:50- Japanese 101
11-11:50- Utopia/Dystopia
12:12-50- Biology 111

Tuesday:
9-9:50 Chemistry 110
10:10:50- Japanese 101
1-3:50- Chem 110 Lab

Thursday:
9-9:50-Chem 110
1-3:50- Bio 111 Lab

It's not as bad as I thought it would be. Having Chem AND Bio will suck, cuz it's a heavy work load, but it will be worth it. Second semester I take Calc A. Miranda, a girl from across the hall who I like a lot, has already offered to help me.

Also, we saw a hypnotist last night. It was fantastic.

This is the answer I received:

Your schedule sound heavy on one day. But, how nice to have Friday off!

Thanks for letting us hear from you. Did you get hypnotized? Sounds like fun. I have seen a hypnotized show once, it was fun.

I am going to transfer the book money to your account today. I will transfer more funds on the first.

I am going to attempt to send you some pics of the house renovation progress. We will see if I get it done right.

Glad you are having fun. Love you, Fam

I don't even know where to BEGIN.

A Convo Worth Remembering

Some context: I was sitting at my desk typing something up when Laura walks by to write on my door. She notices my comic books and says the following just as Robert walks by. Keep in mind that Roger can't see into my room.

Laura: *yells* You have ZITS!
Me: *laughs* Yeah, I have a LOT of Zits."

*We both turn to Robert, who is staring at Laura and my face, trying to understand*

Robert: "You're SO MEAN, Laura!" *more looking confusedly at my face*
Me and Laura: *laughing hysterically*
*Robert walks off*


We explained it to him later.

Hysterical Laughter

" My friend's dad loves to torture his children mentally. One day he was driving with my friend (his son) in a convertible, and a car overtakes them. As they go by, some girls in the car wave at my friend.

Dad: "Who are they?"
Son: "Oh, just some girls from my high school."
Dad: "Oh okay...."

As they pull up to the lights, both of them see that they're going to be stopping right alongside the car with the girls in it.

Does Mad Dad honk the horn and wave back at the girls?

No.

Does he make catcalls and whistles?

No.

Does he take a clown mask out from under his seat, put it on, insert a tape of fucking merry-go-round music into the stereo and turn it all the way up?

"

I love SA.

Where I Disappeared To

For all of you who wonder where the hell I ran off to around 9, I'll enlighten. Miranda popped into my room and asked me if I was going to see the movie. It was Revenge of the Nerds, it was free, and she was leaving AT THAT MOMENT, so I kinda had to zip. Sorry.

Someone drew Salad Fingers on my door. Bad Gio!

Some girl who I think is named Vanessa asked me if I wanted to go to look/get pierced tomorrow. I'll prolly just buy new gauged earrings for my firsts. I have a feeling people would kill me if I actually got my tongue done.

I choose classes tomorrow. I think my schedule will end up like this:

Monday, Wednesday, Friday:
1000-1050- Japanese 101 (Advising Class)
1100-1150-Utopia/Dystopia (required Freshie seminar crap)
1200-1250 Biology 111 (I'm a Bio major)
1300-1350- Japanese Religion (233a) -fulfills a core, rocks my world

Tuesday:
1000-1050- Japanese 101 (Advising Class)

Thursday:
1300-1550- Biology Lab

If I can't get into Bio I'll take Chem instead, which would get my ass up at 9 am. I'd also have the lab on Tues. so I'd have no classes at all on Thursday. If I can't get into Japanese Religion I'll be taking a class on Greek and Roman Epic poetry that sounds like it might kick my ass but be well worth it.

1st Homework of the Year

It's not really official homework since I don't have any classes yet, but it's for orientation. And I'm feeling sadistic enough to bless you all with it. At least the part I have done.

This essay was assigned for us to read and sumamrize into two paragraphs. It was actually decently interesting. (There are a couple of typos, which bothers me, since it's on a University web site. Mt. Holyoke doesn't seem like the kind of school to ALLOW typos.)

Here is my summary.

Modern English language is empty of meaning. Writers use too many words and stock phrases that don't evoke any clear image or meaning at all. To sound intelligent sentences get strung out and unneeded words get added in. People no longer put thought into the meaning of the words they choose, so meanings can become twisted and misenterpreted. This lack of depth in language makes it harder for people to think clearly and for themselves.

This is useful in politics. Politicians rely on this ability to say much and mean nothing. So it follows that if one cleans up and refocuses the language that it will have an effect on the whole system. To clean up the language most foreign and latin or greek-based words, tired or misused metaphors, and other stock phrases need to be removed. This will make it easier to choose shorter and more specific ways to say what is intended, with words that actually have a clear tone and meaning. If all of this is done speakers will better understand what they and the people around them are saying and will be more capable of thinking for themselves. This will improve American politics as an effect.

Not well-written, but it's just supposed to be a rough draft. Next I have to read an essay on DNA and decide on two places that should be expanded. Then I get to compare the styles.

And, of course, look up various translations of archaic French poetry. I'll spare you all this grief.

And...I'll spare me too. *goes to bed* BAH!!

::BLEARY-EYED EDIT::
Right, little did I know they meant the ORIGINAL paper on the first correct model of DNA. Ugh. I hate reading technical jargon.

That damn thing was written to and for the informed. How the hell should I know what needs to be "expanded?"

Fuck you, college. And your little dog, too.

mmmm, steak

So, the George Foreman grill is a big hit. I've been told I need to start charging people to use it.

*sniffs* Gods, the dorm smells FANTASTIC.

This is very amusing.

More Chronicles of Wrennie

7:10 am- I wake up to the sound of Rob Zombie's 'Dragula' seeping in through my window from a dorm across the green. Someone goes running down the hall.

7:35 am- My roommate and I figure out neither of our alarm clocks were set properly.

7:55 am- I am out of the shower and done getting the black dye from my sheets and towels off of me. Thanks, family, for washing them before shipping them. There is ONE dryer on my floor. XP

8:15 am- Where the FUCK is the milk for my cereal?

8:20- No, really.

8:23- oh.

9- TESTING!! AGH!!

10:30-Flee back to dorm room and ask RA what the hell is wrong with our door. Steal my roommate's Expo marker and write "EVIL DOOR!! XP!!" on the whiteboard. Get online, check e-mail, then steal Expo marker again and write "Wren is bored! Come save her!" on white board.

::SECOND EDIT::
11:30- Growl about the fact that no one did and head off to first advising class.
11:40- "Oh, I needed a pencil?"

12:30- Round up a bunch of near-strangers from 3rd floor and head for lunch. Talk about knives, guns, Uma Thurman, small Alaskan towns, and people who hate Alias.

2pm- Head off to second advising class.
2:10pm- "Uh, can I borrow a writing utensil, Kei?"
2:30pm- The purple crayon you've been writing with is now DEAD.

3 pm- Show the guy in room 318 the layout of your room. A flash from the forum is up. Watch that, the end of the world, and ddautta. Go check out his room, get shown pics of Japanese schoolgirls. Comment on his kilt and spiked, studded boots. Tell him if you did that to the toes of your boots, people's knees and crotches would never be the same.

4pm- loan the guy to your left your microwave, laugh when he asks to buy the george foreman grill that was inside it. Find out he has the same laptop as you do. Rejoice and attempt to remember what his name is.

::THIRD EDIT::
5pm- head to farewell dinner with the family. Fam chooses an Italian place. On way down realize you forgot room key and have to go all the way back up.

5:30pm- the following conversation ensues:
Me: "Fam, do you know anything about my 'student account'? Like what sorts of things get credited to it?"
Fam: "No, I have no idea."
Me: "That's nice, cuz I think you get to pay for it when it happens."
Fam: "What is it?"
Me: "I don't know, I was asking you."
Fam: "Well, I don't know. What gets credited?"
Me: "Fam. I don't know! I was asking you for information."
Fam: "Well, I've never even heard of it."
Me: "You're only doing slightly worse than me, then."
Fam: "So what do you know about it? What gets credited, when?"
Me: "I don't know."
Fam: "'Student Account'... ...What do you mean by that? Your bank account?"
Me: "No."
Fam: "So what is your student account?

...lather, rinse, repeat for two minutes...

Me: *starts getting exasperated* "I asked you to see if you know. I know nothing! I have no information!"
Fam: "So why did you bring it up? I don't know anything either."
Me: "We've established that."
Unc: "Wren, there is no reason to be getting angry. You were the one who brought it up and now you're getting mad when we ask you questions. That's ridiculous."
Me: *tears at pizza and stares out window*

6pm- Proof that I frequently get listened to:
unc: "So what are you doing tonight?"
me: "Floor meeting, dance."
...three minutes later...
unc: "So what are you doing tonight?"
me: *stare*
fam: "Unc, you already asked her that. Listen!"

...ironically, the next thing that happens:

fam: "So is there an all-guys dorm?"
me: "No, just an all-girls."
fam: "That seems a bit odd. You'd think that some people would prefer non-coed."
me: "Well, there's not enough room. And also, most dorms are co-ed by floor, not by room like mine."
fam: "Hmmm, but a lot of the dorms are co-ed by floor, aren't they. So I guess it's okay."
me: *bland stare*

7pm- Sit in the corner during a floor meeting and chuck starburst and reese's at the kid in room 230-something because he is aiming at a kid from my Japanese class and missing. A lot.

8:30- Put on jean skirt with slit to show off red knee-high boots. Wash face, cuz air is nasty and sticky cuz windows are all shut cuz *gasp* it's raining!

9:15- Go to dance thing. Get accosted by guy I talked to at family BBQ yesterday and asked to a concert thingy. Meet his, er, typically male roommates. Make fun of the music and talk about moshing and reggae. Attempt to find the free Papa John's Pizza.

9:40- RUN!!

10PM- update blog.

Chronicles of Wrennie- Escape from Hood Canal

Well, last night the family and I got into a huge argument about what time to show up at orientation. I knew it started at 8, and I wanted to show up early to beat the lines, move in while it was cool, etc. After a horribly insulting exchange in which they basically told me I obviously had no clue what I was talking about and had no idea how to read a schedule, Unc said this little gem: "Wren, give me all your info and paperwork. I'm sending you to this damn college, and I have more right to it than you do." ...

...cuz he really needs to know when the date rape seminar is.

Anyway. So they wanted to leave at 7:30 to get there at 9. I wanted to leave at 6:30 to get there at 8. Of course we decided to compromise and leave at 7:30. Right. I am quoting. They said "compromise."

So, of course we left at 8. And stopped to get coffee on the way. And then Necromongers attacked our rental Mercedes and told me they could ease my pain.

Family was also 15 minutes late for my convocation ceremony.

But meh. On to the good stuff. My roommate is cool, our room is nice, and my fountain is all set up. Also, it's only gonna cost $15 to fix my PS2. And the internet finally started working.

Taking a Week off...

Off at orientation for the next ten days. I may not be around much until Sunday. Who knows. I'll get on when I can!

UGH!

My biggest pet peeve? People who get mad at me and tell other people, but not me. So I have no clue what I'm doing wrong, so can't fix it.

I find out this morning that I seem to have pissed people off. I don't know how or why. Something about messy suitcases. Evidently I have made several family members angry, but they didn't breathe a word to me. Oh no. They told Fam. Who proceeded to ream me about it, but I don't know what all I did.

This happens every year. I think I'm not going to come up here anymore. I don't know any of them very well, and all I seem to be doing is stepping on people's freakish quirks.

::EDIT BEFORE BED::
This made my night:

Thank you, SV!! Bit is ADORABLE!

SHOPPING!

Went into town to shop today. I now have four bras instead of one. So now I won't look like a total whore in my white shirts. I also have new panties and a pair of boxers that say "Chicks dig me". *chuckles*

MMM. I have a TV an microwave and shirts now, too. And a robe. So...yeah. I'll be clothed.

::EDIT::

Far less bored because they let me take the boat out. I think tonight I am going to be girly and play dress-up to sort through all my clothes.

::EDIT::
Lock me out of the house? Fuckers.

Boredom

I was woken up hellishly early today and told to get ready to go shopping. It sucked because I was in the middle of a dream, and I was jerked awake and thought Fam was the robot I had been fighting, so I had a quiet panic attack. Once I got over that I showered and got dressed...

...and found out Fam had gone back to bed.

So I've been sitting on my ass doing nothing today. Well, I called SLAM, worked on my katakana (I still have all my ひらがな memorized!)But the katakana gave me a headache, so I came in and finished Bebop. *sob*

And then I got online. And Fam just told me we're not going shopping today at all. We're gonna do it all tomorrow. O.o At least Unc is coming. That means I may actually get more stuff.

Anyway, so now I have all day to do nothing. I may watch Lain or Key the Metal Idol or something.

mmmm, the tide is coming in. I wonder if they'd let me take the boat out today.

No. *sulks*

Payback is a BITCH

Radio: Ah. A succubus
Wren: am not
Radio: Prove it
Wren: *doesn't come seduce you*
Radio: ...Fuck. I should've seen that coming.

The Chronicles of Wrennie

Well, here I am in the airport, blogging from Word like a loser. At least I accept my fate. ^_^ Some of you may be wondering why I’m here on the 15th, when I was telling everyone I was leaving on the 16th. That is a looovely story that can wait.

I have a rather large, shiny rock on my left hand. Yes, everyone, I was proposed to yesterday. Rose got down on one knee in her front yard, looked deep into my eyes, and lovingly said “Darling, which one is your left hand?”
….yes. She is quite suave, like any Don Juan should be. *coughs* (I’ll burn for that lie.)

After we had that sorted out she slid the ring onto my finger and said “If everything in life goes terribly wrong-- like it did when the box to this ring flew out my window when I was going 55 on Watson—remember that we’ll always have Vermont.” Then she lept to her feet and yelled “Yes! I finished it!”

It’s quite lovely, don’t you agree?


I got her a box of advice:
[see above]

[and again]
The hedgehog/bearded dragon offered this: “Don’t be prickly!”

[you get the point]The owl is a bit of an inside joke. Reminds us both of those innocent days at the zoo when we both were young. And hopeful. And not embittered and terrified of large winged birds and the impact they can have on your career/future/psyche.

((By the way, Batman. I’m listening to Frou Frou as I type this. Let me tell you, this is my favorite CD ever now. You have excellent taste. And I’ve been looking for a copy of “Must Be Dreaming” for MONTHS now. <3.))

So after that Tiny One, my fianc?, and I all went to the Spanish fest thing and had some food and watched really bad Bolivian dancers. Then Tiny One and I went to the Outback with SLAM and God. While we were there, I got a phone call from Fam.

“Are you ready to leave tomorrow?”
*long pause* “Fam, tomorrow is Sunday.”
“Right. You leave tomorrow.”

Well fuck.

So I spent most of the night frantically packing and cleaning. I had to drop my car at the repair place and get my prescription refilled. I’m not sure if I packed it…but I’ll find out later. I also ran by the house to grab part of a power cord I accidentally forgot. Let me tell you…a half-remodeled house with no power at night is a real treat. Luckily I have a good memory for my things and I knew exactly where what I wanted was. If only that memory extended to other, slightly more useful areas…*bubbles like goldfish* Anyway, I was in bed at 2 and woke up before five to finish cleaning the house and drag my ass off to the airport, where I am now.

Amazingly, I didn’t get frisked in security—for the first time in two years. I was impressed. Maybe it was my look of mild panic and my slightly teary eyes. I wasn’t really ready to go.

Issues at the bank still aren’t sorted out. So I’m still living my double life. Only not, you know, the cool one, living off other people’s money in fucking MADRID. *growls*

Oh well. I’ll have a debit card again soon. Which is good, because I need it for an evil plot.

Did I just sense someone shudder uncontrollably? *chuckles* good, good…

I’m used to having peace and solitude in the airport. But, sadly…it seems the MFV is on this flight. We fired her. Why won’t she go the hell away? I had no idea she was going to be here. If I had, I would have probably tried to smuggle my knife through security.

…Nah. Not worth the risk of losing it. I should name that knife.

Anyway, I just realized I forgot to install AOL back onto this computer, so I may not have internet at the canal after all. *dies* I will go INSANE if that happens.

WAIT! I’ll just have Fam stop by a Blockbuster on the way home. I can grab one of the free AOL disks there. *squee*

…I just *squeed* at getting AOHell. What the….ah well. I call it desperation. >.> Don’t shoot me.

Ugh. Time to board.

::EDIT AFTER PLANE FLIGHT AND LUNCH::
According to me it is 3:50. According to the mp3 player I set in the SEA/TAC airport it is 1:50. I am SO TIRED. I managed to pass out on the plane, but that was kind of a mistake. Now my neck hurts and my body knows what it missed out on last night.

I’m sitting here becoming more and more amazed that I managed to get everything together after all. I got my car to the repair place, got my prescription, packed all my college stuff…and managed to pack up my room, too. I even got a packet of stuff to take to my store manager together. SLAM is going to drop it by sometime this week.

Something I noticed at the airport: an unusually large amount of military types. I know there’s a base nearby, but it was still surprising to see so many. Most of them were bitching that they had three years left. I hear that’s a common topic.

I know I’m not OK today because I let myself eat fast food fish. That is usually a big no on my list. Fish is not something I equate with “fast”. I hear “fast food fish”, I think “FRIED PESTILENCE.” It just seems like the dirtiest food when it’s served up in that kind of environment.

Did any of that make sense? I swear I’m feeling my brain power dying bit by bit already, and the day here has barely begun.

Meh. I’m bored. Imma try to entice Fam into some sort of conversation. Or something. Probably not, actually. Kay. She just left the car. No talky, then.

*goes off to organize music*

::EDIT ONCE AT THE HOUSES::
My current "internet" sucks major ass. Bear with me.

It Hurts to Walk

Aren't you supposed to stop doing this to yourself once you hit, like...9? I'd like evryone to note the swelling of the IT band.

Eri, if you ever call me puddin' again I will be forced to beat you to death with your own left leg. Just so you know.