Pictures don't count.

I can't help it. They're too sparkly not to share! D:

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Click through for more witchy piccies! (Warning: high sparkly content!)

Notice

Until after NaNoWriMo is over, stalk me on Twitter.

::EDIT::
If you're wondering why, here, have Exhibit A.

squeaker: ...ignore that random g.
squeaker: wt ever living f
Maddo: sl--g?
Maddo: aj
Maddo: sprru
Maddo: adsf;aljgd
Maddo: sorry
squeaker: O.O
squeaker: :D
squeaker: finally, someone who speaks the language

Ze words, they fail us. I don't want this to happen to my blog posts!

More E-mail Fun

From: Wren
To: Fam:

Subject: Christmas Day

Are we still doing breakfast? If so, I should bring some Fisher's scone mix. Washington is famous for these scones.

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From: Fam
To: Lauren

Subject: Re: In which I prove I am a dumbass

Yes, please bring some. I love scones. I was thinking of doing a turkey and the whole thing for you and me and Claire. Would you rather ham?

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No. No, I do not want ham. Why? Because not only have I not eaten ham for the past seven years, but I do not feel like spending my Christmas Night desperately hugging the toilet.

I love these people.

While at the National Science Teacher's Association convention:

*Room 204 has run out of chairs, but there is still half a lecture hall of space free. Some teachers begin sitting on the floor. Other, more enterprising individuals, invade the next room, where there is a plethora of chairs but a dearth of attendees. Soon, there is a steady stream of people looping from one room to the other, chairs in hand*

Woman with wild hair: "I feel like an ant."
Tall man: *stops cold* "You know, I was just thinking that!"
Me: "Yeah, me too."
*chorus of agreement from the crowd*
Woman with wild hair: *Laughs* "You can tell we're all science people!"
Me: "No we're not, we're leafcutter ants!"
*chorus of agreement from the crowd*
Mr K: "Wait, what's up?"

For reference, we're talking about these guys:

Please, please click this. If it is at all unclear to those uninitiated into my family, I am asking Unc, Fam, and [Wife] if "my little sisters" have a Christmas list so I can buy them something without using any precious brain cells in thought.

So why, why, WHY is Fam doing... that?

It seems oddly familiar.

And people wonder why I never want to go back to Saint Louis. That, whatever that is, is far worse in person.

Death is coming!

Goal: Stay up-to-date on NaNoWriMo
Goal: Attend NSTA conference Thurs-Sat.

Problem: Work tonight from 4-12
Problem: Leave for Portland Wednesday night
Problem: Need 30k words by tonight for NaNo
Problem: All of last night was spent fixing &^#*@! laptop.

Due: Semantic Web, Thursday
Due: Rubric for Performance Assessment, Thursday
Due: Performance Assessment Handout, Thursday
Due: Criterion Assessment Handout, Thursday
Due: Outline of state standards, Thursday
Due: Student Samples, Thursday
Due: Tensions Paper, Friday (Optional: Monday)
Due: Student Questionnaire, Friday

Solution: Call in sick to work. Turn all of assignments listed above in on Wednesday. If I am lucky, sleep.

Prognosis: Proper fucked

::EDIT:: Holy shit, would you look at that?

Dear laptop:

Look, I know you know how busy this week is gonna be, because I just got done inscribing a todo list into your worthless little fucking body. So really, what possessed you to eat half of the Ubuntu install and deprive me of my files?

Fucker. Now I get to spend the night backing shit up and rolling back to the last, exponentially more stable, distribution.

Couldn't this have waited until December?!

::EDIT SIX HOURS LATER::
Fixed.

To do BEFORE I become a teacher:

Buy pants that take fewer than five minutes to un-button, otherwise I am never going to the bathroom in between classes.

I wish I could blame the sprained wrist on this one, but it really seems to be the fault of me and my ZOMGobsession with tiny-fucking-button, tab-waisted pants

Failed Children's Shows

"Barf-eater the Asscat."

Do you see! Do you see what I have to put up with!

"Good lord, are they always like this?"

Note to Future Wren

In case I get bogged down by the details when I enter the workforce, here is a list of ten reasons why I am becoming a teacher:

1. Because when I was living in Hawaii and I needed someone to talk to, my guidance counselor made fun of me and asked "what, having a problem with your boyfriend?"
2. Because I know what it's like to be the kid who doesn't feel happy to go home when the bell rings at the end of the day.
3. Because if it hadn't been for two teachers in my high school, I never would've made it to college.
4. Because my freshman year Biology teacher ruined the subject for me.
5. Because it's the only way I have left to prove I love my mother.
6. Because one day I hope to be a good enough teacher to instill my enthusiasm into a new generation of people.
7. Because my life feels incomplete without homework.
8. Because the idea of having summer break for the rest of my life makes me feel like a little kid.
9. Because I want to make sure that my kids meet at least one adult during their time in school that will respect them as a human beings and not look down on them simply because of their youth.
10. Because the ever-present, ever-juvenile part of me desperately wants to prove the MAT program wrong.
    

Anyone have any champagne?

It has happened.

Percy, Melvin, Lilith, Jadis, and Benny have successfully spent the night in the same cage with no blood.

When I get home from classes, I get to set up the big cage.

That's right. I have them all down to one cage. An hour of my night, each night, has been freed.

\m/

Happy Obama Day!

I understand intellectually that what I witnessed last night was an historic event (The Daily Show made that clear). I feel a little silly doing this now, but I know that one day I am going to look back on my life and ask “what was I doing when Obama got elected?”

The answer is severalfold, really. I coined a new phrase (“Together People” for boyfriend and girlfriend). For a good chunk of it, I was covered in pomegranate juice (they're wiley little buggers, those pomegranates). I was also hanging out with some of my closest friends, huddled together on the couch and staring at the television in a quiet panic. Daryl was formulating his plan to move to Canada. We were discussing the chances of gay marriage being rebanned in California, the new Tacoma mass transit bill passing, and whether or not Washington would pass the assisted suicide bill. (I still need to find out. I hope they do.) On the TV, Colbert is becoming crankier and crankier as McCain fails to take the lead.

All of the sudden, the Daily Show ends with “Barack Obama has just been elected the next President of the United States.” My heart stops. We all stare in stunned silence.

“TURN TO MSN! FOX! ANYTHING!” Maddo's boy shrieks.

We do, and are greeted with silent newscasters, who are simply streaming feeds of Obama supporters celebrating all over the nation. I start crying right around the time we realize they are. Several other people in the room tear up, too. When the MSNBC anchors resume speaking, most of them are also in tears.

I can't really explain it. I really didn't think, until I saw McCain concede to Obama, that it was going to happen. I didn't think we had it in us. But we did. Yes we did! And I don't think that this is going to magically fix all of our problems with the environment, foreign relations, the economy, and the rampant racism that is still crippling us. But I do think it sends a message that we can change, and that apathy hasn't completely overwhelmed us. Until last night, I was convinced it had. Until last night, I had given up.

We've put this man on a pedestal and assigned him the task of reclaiming our faith in our government, and for that I am genuinely sorry, because I honestly don't believe one man can succeed with such a monumental mandate in four years. But I do believe that he will try. I trust him when he says he is going to try to be bipartisan, to bring us together again in a time when divisive tactics will only send us further down the drain. And I believe that the vast majority of the United States has chosen change. I have never seen an election be decided so quickly.

Now my only fear is that we have sentenced this man to death by handing him the reigns to such a divided nation. But this is a choice he made himself, and because of that I know he believes this is worth the risk. That we are worth the risk. And that is why I gave him my support despite my worry that my vote, in the end, will have killed a man.

Yes we did.

Oh. My. God.

I teach my first lesson tomorrow. As in, like, I have control of the class for the entire day, from start to finish.