Dear laptop:

Look, I know you know how busy this week is gonna be, because I just got done inscribing a todo list into your worthless little fucking body. So really, what possessed you to eat half of the Ubuntu install and deprive me of my files?

Fucker. Now I get to spend the night backing shit up and rolling back to the last, exponentially more stable, distribution.

Couldn't this have waited until December?!

::EDIT SIX HOURS LATER::
Fixed.