Tim: I should get Mike to play WoW again. >.>
Squeaker: Don't you dare.
Tim: but he's the guy who heals me when he's high. :(
Squeaker: I will fly out there and fucking kill you with the expansion pack.
Squeaker: they will be picking pieces of it out of the atria of your heart.
Tim: ... o.o
Tim: you seem more terrifying than usual.
Well, I've been on Tegretol for a week now, and tonight I am supposed to double my dose, so I figured now was a good time for a one-week update on how I've been feeling.
Side Effects:
No bad ones so far. I haven't had more difficulty speaking (than is usual), or thinking. If anything, I've gotten the best night's sleep of...a decade in the past week on this stuff. While this might become a bad thing as I increase my dosage, right now it's a pretty big perk. I've noticed no abnormal bruising, rashes, or weight changes.
Desired Effects:
I haven't had a severe swing yet, though it's unclear whether that's due to the meds or not. I came down from my mania on Tuesday and was rather normal until Friday night. Since then, I've been fighting off a depressive swing. Dunno if this was caused by starting the meds while manic, but it's been controllable so far. Hanging out with people forces me to leave the house, and going to the library forces me to do homework. As long as I keep up with my Wren Prevention, I should get through this okay.
In high school I had a goal. I was going to buy an old 1980s Plymouth Laser and customize it. See how it has the pop-up headlights? Every time I see one of those cars, one of the headlights is broken, and it looks like the car is winking. And I thought it was abominably cute.
So I decided that I was going to get a car with a broken headlight, decal the front window with "ARRRR," paint an eyepatch over the broken light, and dub the whole mess "Cap'n Winky."
That was in high school. Last Monday I discovered I had a new goal:
Wren requires an eyepatch.
Why? Because Mythbusters recently proved that they give you excellent night vision if you actually have two eyes. Which suits my diabolical plans quite nicely.
I have two major issues with the campus Buddhist Student Union.
1) It's Dalai Lama. Not Dali. Stop calling him "Dolly" at the meetings and please, please, PLEASE don't write it Dali five times in a mass e-mail to the entire club.
2) When you're advertising an interest meeting, don't put a picture of the Kitchen God on the fucking flyer. I can understand that you're not all that well versed in eastern art, but...we're talking a fuck-up spanning two religions.
Get off my whole wheat bagel. You certainly do NOT go well with my strawberry cream cheese.
No love,
I hate you so fucking much you little black specs of nasty!
When told "because that's the way God made them" after asking why male fruit flies don't undergo crossing-over during meiosis, it is probably not a good idea to respond "Yes, but why did He make them that way?"
I've had several people express curiosity about exactly what medication I'm now on, so here you go:
Tegretol.
I went to the psychiatrist this morning to discuss medication and a formal diagnosis. Formally, I have been diagnosed with bipolar I disorder, which is the most severe of the types of manic depression. This means that I alternate from euphoric manic extremes to near-suicidal depression when left unchecked. Many people also become psychotic with time (hi mom). Luckily, I have yet to have a psychotic episode, though it's possible that won't manifest until I am older. But, since I'd rather not ever have delusions of being Jesus, I'm going on medication now.
This is where the real warning comes in. The available medicines work differently for everyone, which means that the next few weeks could be very hard for me as I experiment with drugs to determine what is the most effective and least obnoxious of my available options. I am being started out on an anticonvulsant that works great for some people, but has rather serious side effects for others. These include a bad rash, liver damage, and decreased blood and plasma counts. So, I'll be needing periodic blood tests for a while to ensure I'm not affected. Some people also lose cognitive ability to a rather upsetting degree.
Basically I am warning everyone that if I seem weird for the next few weeks, there is likely a good reason. Adjusting to meds is never easy, and I may have to go through it several times before we find one that does less harm than good. I'm slightly manic right now, so there's a chance that starting on the meds will send me into a strong depressive swing before I begin to stabilize. Thus, I am writing this before I take my first dose, because if I do become depressed I'll be far less likely to tell people what's going on.
I'm not trying to scare you guys. There's a good chance that this will be an easy thing. But I also may need help figuring out whether or not I'm acting abnormally, and I'm worried that the meds will make that more difficult for me because it might change my "normal" swing pattern.
I may also end up having an identity crisis. What is "normal" Wren like? I know I won't change fundamentally, but it's hard to say what effect removing my mania will have on things like my work ethic and some of my more random tendencies.
In short, long month ahead. Please be gentle and understanding while I get my brain figured out.
<3
There were 24 people at Heroes last night. That does not include the people who actually live in our house.
It has already been established that I have a tendency to derail any group conversation, but I don't think anyone knows how bad it would be if I didn't think before I spoke. Consider the following, and remember that "Pegasus" was my ultra-exclusive four-year college prep English class.
The Scenario in My Head
Prof: "Think about your best or worst teacher and tell me about him or her."
Me: "My best was Ms. Brewster, my Pegasus teacher."
Prof: O.o "Pegasus?"
Me: ^_^ "Yeah, winged horse husbandry?"
Class: o.o *crickets*
What I Actually Said
Prof: "Think about your best or worst teacher and tell me about him or her."
Me: "My best teacher was Ms. Brewster, my English teacher."
Prof: "And yet you are a Biology Major.."
Now if I could just catch myself in time for all the weird things I say.
My Animal Behavior textbook is insane. Not surprising, considering most animal behaviorists are insane. Think about it: if you spent most of your life researching behaviors that ultimately exist for and are triggered in an attempt to have sex/ prevent others from having sex/ become more desireable for sex / etc, how long would you stay socially acceptable? Still, I'm not sure that excuses him from writing in the first person and inserting pictures of bees attempting to fuck his thumb. Or this, for that matter:
"It is not just insects whose nervous systems employ rules of thumb as simple as "attempt to insert penis into yellow or orange objects."
When I find out which one of you was using my TV over break, be prepared to kiss your testicles goodbye in a rather sickeningly literal fashion.
Ironically, had you not left generic root beer cans all over my coffee table, I'd have no idea you had done it at all...
No love,
The Irate and Possessive Wren who will keep asking until someone fesses up
In our defense, there was a two-day span for these. I was pressured into putting the second one up here by Sarah.
Diego: "So what are you putting an application in for?"
Daryl: "The Old Spaghetti Factory."
Me: "He dreams big."
Daryl: "...whaaat?"
Me: "Daryl. You're going to be a stereotypical gay waiter. "
Daryl: "No I'm not!"
Me: "So you're not going to be a waiter?"
Daryl: "....yes..."
Me: "Oh, so working there will magically make you straight? You might want to warn your boyfriend-- 'Sorry man, but their spaghetti really makes me crave pussy."
Room: *horrified laughter*
Matt: *singing song about being Mr. Saran Wrap to the Chicago soundtrack.*
Me: *snort* '''Let me store your leftovers'! It's a new euphemism for sex!"
Table: *iz ded*
Matt and Brandon: "Hey, it's not really 'leftovers'. We're still alive!"
Me: "Who says it's referring to your junk?"
Table: *lightbulbs*
Areta: "Oh God, this conversation is snowballing."
Table: "..." *iz ded some more*
Well, not really. We had classes, of course, because we always have classes. And there's been snow on the ground since...the seventh or so. But there was fresh snowfall last night, so we decided to grab a few pics today. Photography credit goes to Sarah.
This is Areta, our fifth member for this semester while Madeline is abroad. She's from Caifornia, so is naturally fascinated by snow.
I happen to hate snow, but it's fun in small amounts. Such as this one. =D
I've stood out on campus more than usual today because everything is so white. Or my hair could just be that purple...
You know it's going to be one of those days when you can't find the most conspicuous shoes you own. I mean really. How can I keep missing a pair of red patent leather knee-high combat boots?
1)Worst patient to give a check-up to:
Sarah: "How old is the rat? Two?"
Me: "Yeah, so he'll probably live through our senior year, but that's it. Oh, we might want to take him in for a checkup, because a lot of rats get cancer when they're older."
Sarah: "Yeah, I was reading up on that. They can get respiratory problems too, which is why I was so worried when he was sneezing over break. I was listening to him breathe, but he kept licking my ear and trying to get in my cleavage, so I stopped. He seemed fine."
Me: *laughs* "Why hello, nurse!" *wags tongue vigorously* "Bom-chikka-wow-wow!"
Sarah: "WREN!"
Me: "What! If he were human, that would totally be a porno, but since he's a rat it's okay!"
Sarah: "I hate you! Now I'm afraid to go to the doctor!"
Me: "Sarah, I highly doubt you're going to swan dive into someone's cleavage."
Sarah: "Swan...dive..." *flail* "Is that it?"
Me: "Sure, I can't see you though, but it sounds great."
Sarah: "Good, because I was trying to do this frog thing, and then I thought that was wrong..."
2)Though since we live in Comic House, the confusion may be understandable:
Me: "Hush."
Sarah: "Hush?"
Me: "Yes, hush."
Sarah: "...Hush..."
Me: "Yes, hush, the word that means 'be quiet!'"
Sarah: "Hush?"
Me: ... XD
Okay, so I've reached a new low at work tonight by discovering something worse than seeing naked professors all the time-- dealing with incidents occuring AT YOUR OWN HOME.
The sad thing is, I can see this exact thing happening in one of my courses here.
Professor to group of girls covered in whitish goo: What happened to you?
Girl #1: Egg sac war.
Girl #2 and Girl #3: Yeah.
Professor: ... Ugh.
Guy: I love this class.
--Fort DeSoto Beach, Florida
Overheard by: There's nothing like lab in the field
I woke up yesterday morning, thought "damn it's cold!", and then looked out the window to see a light dusting of snow all over everything. That evening, Daryl walked into the house absolutely covered in snow, and I looked out the window again to find three inches and then some. Moral of this story? I really need to pay a lot more attention and spend less time cleaning. <<; Also, Daryl is awesome and got me a present:
I had to spend some time getting FTP set back up on my big computer to get that image uploaded. Though I've been spending a lot of time on bigcomputer in any case in a desperate attempt to get it working for games again. I opened her up to see if I could get any more dust out of the fans, grabbed a pair of tweezers, and ended up removing a chunk of lint, Sarahhair, and my underwear 1x1 inches in size from the bottom fan. Needless to say, not only is my computer running a lot cooler, but the fans are much, much happier.
Now if I could just get the shift key back on...
Feel free to stop being sick at any point now. I am on vacation and there is much fun to be had. Unfortunately, you refusing to accept that food is a good thing is kind of throwing a damper on the whole squee aspect of my week.
No love,
The girl who really wants to make fried rice but can't because you suck!
College cooking-- you know there's enough food in the kitchen to make a meal if you could figure out the least weird way to combine it.
so you dont want to hear about my good song?
and you dont want to hear about how i am getting on
with all the things that i can get done
the sun is in the sky & i am by my lonesome
so you don't want to hear about my good day?
you have better things to do than to hear me say
god its been a lovely day! everything is going my way
i took out the trash today and i'm on fire...
so you don't want to hear about my good friends?
you dont have the guts to take the truth or consequence
success is in the eye of the beholder
and its looking even better over your cold shoulder
i'm not suggesting you up and line me up for questioning
but jesus think about the bridges you are burning
and i'm betting
that even though you knew it from the start
you'd rather be a bitch than be an ordinary broken heart
so go ahead and talk about your bad day...
i want all the details of the pain and misery
that you are inflicting on the others
i consider them my sisters and i'd like their numbers
god its been a lovely day! everything is going my way
i took up croquet today and i'm on fire
i picked up the pieces of my broken ego
i have finally made my peace as far as you and me go
but i'd love to have you up to see the place
& i'd like to do more than survive i'd like to rub it in your face.....
hey! its been a lovely day! everything is going my way
i had so much fun today and i'm on fire
god it's been a lovely day everything's been going my way
ever since you went away hey i'm on fire.....
i'm on fire...
i'm on fire...
so you dont want to hear about my good day?
I was backdating my blog and realized I never posted the movie we made with us and S.T. Strange when he was a tiny.
We need to make one now that he is fat, lazy, and grownup.
::EDIT::
Now with 100% more link to the video in question...
It would have made Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man easier to live through.
So, I e-mailed my boss two weeks ago and asked if he wanted me to work. Here's the response I got:
Wren, at this time we have our schedule complete up until the beginning of the spring semester. As far as moving back in your house early you would have to take that up with [ladyboss]. She turned in a list of names of who was returning early to work at Security to Student Development for early move in. It may be too late for you to move back early.So I do e-mail Ladyboss, and she says she can get me into the house on the fifth even though I'm not working. So I call in today to get them to unplug my doors, and the boss I e-mailed above shows up to let me in. Guess what he asks?
I cannot believe that I just spent twenty hours in a car. I mean, I know I did, but the fact that I am less sore than I was after the plane flight and both of us are still alive is still a rather shocking feat. I'm still miffed that Diego did not let me drive, but he swears up and down that I was still useful. (I think he's just happy I let him listen to techno the entire way.)
It definitely didn't feel like we were on the road for as long as we were, and I think a lot of it had to do with us being willing to break. We stopped and had a long lunch, stopped periodically to get drinks, and then went to an actual restaurant for dinner (the halfway mark).
I'm not too impressed with Oregon. It was supposed to be this sort of promised land after we finally got out of Cali, and it really wasn't. It was dark, so we really couldn't see anything. Though that also could have been because the entirety of the state was a MASS OF RAIN AND FOG. I don't actually believe that Portland exists, either. It's all a big lie.
As plane flights go, this one has actually been rather pleasant. I got to watch a movie, I finished Dune, and as yet no one has attempted to steal my PS3. I’m still dead tired and the plane air is causing my skin to rebel in dehydrated rage, but we’re twenty minutes from
Well, not really. The worst is probably yet to come. I really hate the LAX, and I’m even more terrified of
::EDIT FROM COUCH::
What I went through to get my luggage cannot really be described as a “throng” of people, or even a herd. Those words suggest both sentience and motion. Instead, I got to wade through a clot of stationary meatbeasts to wait at the world’s least helpful baggage claim. An hour later, we flee for the car.
Speaking as someone who just spent four hours on a plane, I think I can safely say that I LOVE CARS.
I am going to be so exhausted today. Here is why:
1) Wake up. Clean room, get self presentable to go get lunch with aunt.
2) Eat lunch. Go by Circuit City and grab cables Unc needs for the PS3 so I can take my pretty ones home.
3) Come home $100 poorer, plug in cables, turn on PS3.
4) Note that nothing is showing up on screen. WTF. =_=;
5) End up on floor for the next hour, surrounded by cables, remotes, and manuals, frantically typing to Tim on the computer trying to brainstorm how to get this damn thing working.
6) Tim gives up. By all rights, it should be working.
7) I solve problem by tricking PS3. Yay pretty pictures! A happy dance ensues.
8) ....Why is there no sound?
9) Scrounge through closet and find old a/v cables for PS2.
10) Yay, sound! Wait, you want your money back, Unc? I need food money for road trip. YAY! =D
11) Ohgodit'sfouro'clockIneedtopack!
12) There is no way I am getting all of this home with me...
13) lie gasping on floor Finish packing, give Unc pack of clothes to ship, and continue cleaning room.
I barely slept last night and I think all the planning is making me manic. I am going to be such a wreck when I land in Cali. >.<; Just think- After I make it through security with my laptop, PS3, trenchcoat, and knee-high boots I can have a nice relaxing flight and watch movies until my brain melts out my ears.
NOTE TO SELF: Update this banner.
