I'd forgotten what it was like to enjoy my science classes

Microbiology is AMAZING. We did an experiment in lab today that was so much fun Mark has offered to repeat it for the house if we set it up a week in advance. Basically, we froze ice with bacteria.

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? I shall tell you.

There is a bacterium that is known to cause frost damage. It enjoys snacking on the contents of cell cytoplasm. When cells freeze, the water within them expands, and the cell walls burst, which lets the insides out. Over time, this bacterium has developed the ability to induce water to freeze.

So in lab we took pure water, which has a freezing point of -15 degrees, and brought its tempurature down with an ice and alcohol bath to about -10 degrees. Then we took a dropper of the bacteria, dropped it in, and *bam*! Solid block of ice. It bloomed. Was so awesome.

Apparently this is exactly how they make artificial snow.

I love science.

Was I this clueless? O.o;

Walking out of Stats today, I overheard this snippet of conversation between two very obviously freshmen girls:

"How was class today?"
"Oh, it was boring. All we did was take notes."

Will someone please tell me what they think they've enrolled into? It is clearly not a University. I need to see how long it takes them to realize that the colored pencils, scissors, and glue sticks are just deadweight in their little pink backpacks.

Scientists are not literary.

The guy who came up with the title Whelks to Whales needs to be taken out back and beaten with the alphabet.

Soda Pop Hop

Robot House is convinced I am drunk.

We were in the checkout line at Safeway, staring at the Jonbenet tabloids and discussing how sick her parents were when I see Royal Family gossip goodness. Maddo and I giggle at the thought of "raunchy" Prince Harry photos. I set down the two sixpacks of Henry Weinhard's Vanilla Cream Soda I am holding, step forward, and pick up the tabloid.

Sensing its moment had come, one of the soda bottles rockets into the air and explodes of its own volition. Shrapnel and foam fly everywhere, and I am left standing in some sort of Candylandesque battlefield, holding the National Enquirer, covered in a fine layer of cream soda viscera. Everyone in the store stops and stares. And there is judgement in spades.

Cream soda? Meet penis straw. My revenge is nigh.

Last 12-hour shift for the foreseeable future. All I have to do is stay sane and not maim the Manstork.

I am so fucked.

My family has yet to send my tuition check. It was due 11 days ago.

*sighs*

Dear Partnerman (Coda)

Don't get me wrong. I love working with you. So does Dispatcher. But sometimes you can be the biggest fucking know-it-all on the planet. And since I am prone to fits of that myself, might I suggest that that is certainly saying something?

Today I wanted to take the trainee around. He'd done all the buildings you were doing, and you monopolized him the day before. Yes, you've been here longer, and you're the patrol lead, but Bossman had no problem with me training him some, as well. Your response? "But you have no idea what you're doing!"

One hour later you left a girl you'd had an admit assigned for to rot in a dorm breezeway for two hours. I smell a bit of hypocrisy. I may not have the experience, but I have the training, and if I can't answer a question, I will refer him to our fucking boss. I'm not afraid to tell him I don't know something. He knows I just finished my own training period, because I was very up front with him about that.

Then, when trainee and I dealt with crazy fence-hopping landscapers of doom, you had the nerve to criticise the way we handled it. Did Bossman find them, no problem? Yes. Did we keep them in our line of sight without them knowing we were there? Yes. Did everything get resolved quickly? Damn skippy it did. So what was the problem?

I am so ready for summer to be over. I like you much better as my aquaintance.

::EDIT::
Prince Abubu: on another note, "Manstork" is the most awesome thing I have ever called anyone in my blog
Mike: Who is Manstork?
Prince Abubu: Partnerman
Mike: He is a tall man?
Prince Abubu: yes
Mike: Ah. Does he deliver babies?
Prince Abubu: OH MY GOD I HOPE NOT
Mike: Babies for all, courtesy of Partnerman!
Prince Abubu: I hate you so much sometimes.

<3

XD

I just did an admit for my new RCC (RA for campus houses) into her own house. She was quite embarassed.

*snerk*

I have made a difference!

I ran into one of my old Biology professors (who is now the deparment chair) while locking up the science building, and we got to talking about last year's Cell Biology lab/exam hell. Basically, one lab always gets stuck having an exam right after their lab day. For the entire semester. And most students think that is incredibly unfair. She thought about it, and has decided to e-mail other professors and see if they can start moving exams to days when there are neither classes nor lab so one section of students doesn't always get mindraped by 12 hours of their Bio class ever again.

Can I get an Alleluia?

Observational Skills Rock

I just spent ten minutes crawling around on the dining room floor attempting to locate the earbud tip to my iPod headphones after I accidentally ripped them out of my ears. At minute eleven, I realized the earbud tip was still in my ear.

I am such a dork.

Gadget!

A little over 16 gigs of music (culled from about 22).
No missing artists.
No missing albums.
Cover art for every song.
Custom graphics.

Once my iSkin gets here, my iPod is going to be bitchin'.

Chew Toy Requiem

My new iPod arrived yesterday, and I've been obsessively organizing my music, adding album art, and hacking the graphics ever since. (Squeakerbunny shall take over the world.) I'm debating between "Gadget" and "Squeaklet" as new names, because I don't feel right naming it after Chew Toy. It's too streamlined. >>

For those of you who don't know, Chew Toy entered its death throes a couple of months ago after attempting to stage a coup on Squeaker. Squeaker survived, though I had to reskin a lot of it, and Chew Toy survived...in a way. I could no longer edit or access the songs on it from a computer. Or attach it to a computer at all without things exploding. But, it still played fine, so I just plugged it into the wall to charge it and hoped I wouldn't get sick of the music on it.

This lasted until my vacation with Fam. I suppose my iPod, in its already weakened state, could no longer withstand her blathering on incessantly snoring and quetly slipped into a coma one night.

I mourned the loss of my music for a month. Tim came to visit and did his best to fix it, but nothing was working. He tried to convince me to give up.

"Prove it's broken."
"Okay, give it he-"
"NO!"

Cue a violent struggle between us, him grabbing for the iPod, and me alternately assaulting his ears with my screams and his kidneys with my feet. In the midst of this, the backlight of the screen goes on, and lo! everything looks normal.

We both stop and stare because the iPod was on hold the entire time we were fighting.

Unfortunately, just because it turned back on didn't mean was as good as new. In the end, only one song remained on my iPod.

If you ever want a rousing rendition of "Dude Looks Like a Lady," pick up Chew Toy and pop in the earbuds. It will gladly play it for you. Sometimes.

I just had the most uncomfortable experience POSSIBLE while trying to drink a bottle of cream soda.

"Let's go get some air for the passengers" is probably the wierdest line I've heard in a while.

Snakes on a Plane gets massive, massive points for satire.

It loses massive, massive points for its blatent lack of caring about herpetology. Then again, it was so obvious they didn't give a fuck about this that maybe it has lost so much that became a win. Some sort of quantum fucking physics herpetology loss-transmogrification took place in that theater. (ANACONDA WOT?)

But the crowd was awesome, and I do not think I have laughed that hard in a long, long time. I think the people behind me were in tears. TEARS.

Dear Fam:

Stop taking everything so fucking personally. When my car fucking died in the airport parking garage, I called you.

"You were screaming at me!"
"I was not. It was loud, and I was incredibly upset."
"Well what can I do? I'm three thousand miles away!"

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM UPSET, BITCH?

Things are fine with the car now. But I have no intention of calling Fam any time in the near future. She makes things three times as difficult as they ever need to be.

I am the best girlfriend ever.

Next week is swiftly taking shape in my head. Here's how it looks so far:

Tuesday the 15th: Watch movies and get settled into Comic House. Fall back in love with kitchen by cooking yummy dinner.
Wednesday the 16th: Hang out with Maddo and Sarah? (Hint hint, guys, RSVP. I'd be willing to head to Oly for this one.)
Thursday the 17th: Snakes on a Plane opening show, 10 PM.
Friday the 18th: Work from 7 AM -4 PM (I was blackmailed). Dinner out at the Melting Pot. (Note to self: Make reservation when I wake up.)
Saturday the 19th: Iunno. Hike? More Sarah and Maddo? MAYBE ALL THREE?
Sunday the 20th: Head into Seattle, check into the University Tower Hotel at 3PM. Take the Seattle Underground tour at 6, and eat dinner at the best Thai restaurant in town at 8PM (Yes, I am talking about Typhoon). There's also a Greek Place. (Note to self: Make reservations.)
Monday the 21st: Meet up with everyone in Seattle and make an Uwajimaya run! I'd also like to go to the Woodland Park Zoo if anyone else is interested. >>
Tuesday the 22nd: Iunno yet! I'm too busy being AWESOME to plan that far ahead. But I'll bet it involves being broke. ^^;; But whatever. I'm only me once. And it's not like I have rent or bills to pay next month.

Blockbuster was never this fun

Tonight was a night of rediscovery at UPS security. Dispatcher and I rediscovered our inner children by discussing A Ring of Endless Light and Matilda. And Partnerman? Well, he rediscovered his inner child by poking us repeatedly with a bamboo cane.

Allow me to elaborate.

Wren: *OMGBOOKgrippingpartdramadramatotalengrossment*
Partnerman: *POKEWRENSFOOTLOL*
Wren: *startledglare*
Partnerman: *littleboygrin*
Wren: *giggles hysterically* "You are a BASTARD. I was totally into my book."
Partnerman: "Oh, I know."
Wren: *giggleglare*

And then:

Dispatcher: *typetypetypeyay*
Partnerman: *POKEHEIGHTADJUSTERLOL*
Dispatcher: *suddenlydropsafootlower* "HEY!"

Pause.

Partnerman: *gigglepokebackadjuster*
Dispatcher: *isbentoverbyweightofchair* "AAGH!"

Pause.

Partnerman: *ROFLpokeseatadjuster*
Dispatcher: *isalmostdroppedonfloor*

Pause.

Wren: "You look like a hermit crab."
Dispatcher: *fumes* I KNOW.
Partnerman: *painface*

Pause.

Partnerman: "Why haven't you fixed your seat?"
Dispatcher: "Because I know you'll just do all that again."
Partnerman: "Damnit!"
Partnerman: >>
Partnerman: *sneaksneaksneak*
Wren: *rolls away in chair* NO.

And finally:

Partnerman: *swingcane, swingcane, swingcane, swingcane*
Wren's peripheral vision: *OMFGCANE!*
Wren: *glare*
Partnerman: *giggle*
Wren: *giggle*
Partnerman: *giggle*
Wren: *giggle*
Partnerman: *giggle*
Wren: *giggle*
Dispatcher: *stare*
Wren: "He almost hit me in the face with the cane."
Dispatcher: "Oh. I would also be laughing if that were in my immediate future..."

In the end, I'd say the dispatcher and I made one final discovery: Neither of us are yet ready for children of our own. And our bosses, who all already have their own, discovered they were happy we belonged to someone else.

So tonight there was an arrest. A couple were fighting, and the female ended up getting sent to jail.

I told this to a coworker, and he goes "Wow. I've never heard of a girl being the aggressor."

I started laughing quasi-hysterically. He obviously had no idea whom he was speaking to.

It is now my greatest goal in life to not live past 50

I simply cannot imagine being a functional human being at that point.

I just got woken up by pain in my legs so severe that I cannot go back to bed. I finally found some extra strength pain meds, took three, and am now in some sort of throbbing purgatory until they kick in.

If I have arthritis pain this bad at 20, I am not looking forward to the future. I can't even find the words to describe what this feels like.

...fuck.

I forgot to lock an entire building tonight.

Luckily, when I told my boss at shift change and offered to stay late to take care of it, he said he'd do it, and thanked me for my honesty. I think he knew by the look on my face that I really didn't need to be reprimanded.

So yeah. I'm going to go feel dumb now.

Back to School Present to ME! ^^

I just bought 12 books. The one-click ordering on Amazon is evil, but I figure I just spent what I'd normally be spending on rent on books, so it evens out.

Here's the breakdown. As you can see, it started out seminormal, and then I got an attack of childhood:

1&2) The Tale of Genji- Murasaki Shikibu: Two-volume hardcover boxed set, the newest translation.
3) IT- Stephen King: Hardcover First Edition.
4) Dragonsdawn- Anne McCaffrey: Hardcover First Edition.
5) The White Dragon- Anne McCaffrey: Hardcover Reissue (But only the 3rd in the series. Eat me, you stupid publisherpeople.)
6&7) Exiles Volumes I and II- Melanie Rawn: Hardcover First Edition (WRITE THE THIRD ONE ALREADY I'VE BEEN WAITING SINCE I WAS 12.)
8) A Ring of Endless Light- Madeline L'Engle: Hardcover Reissue (The last copy in stock. >>)
9-12)The Time Quartet- Madeline L'Engle: Special Edition boxed set of all four of the novels (Wrinkle in Time, Wind in the Door, Swiftly Tilting Planet, and Many Waters).

I think that's it! Now they need to get here so I can reads them. (hehe...All female writers except for Stephen King.)

Purgatory

I was sitting here at the desk, bored out of my mind, feeling more and more like a secretary as the day went by, and then discovered the Bagel Man had been there the night before.

My breath now tastes like basil. AND I AM HAPPY.

Also, I'm trying to figure out what shifts will work with my schedule. I think I have it figured out. Classes from 8-11 on Monday, and then work from 4-12. No class till 11 on Tuesday, and only one class, so that leaves plenty of time to get my homework done. Then, for my second shift, I want Friday Grave, so I work from midnight to 8AM. That leaves me plenty of time to do homework and hang out with the housies.

::EDIT 4PM::
This shift is DEAD. Nothing is happening. So much so, in fact, that my boss sent the dispatcher home until 8 or 8:30. I have no buildings to unlock until 2100, and don't fancy four hours of randomly fucking about in the great outdoors when I am crazy tired.

So, here I am for another four hours. Time to update Shoshin and my recipe blog.

Epiphany

I realized something tonight as I was sitting in the passenger seat of the patrol car, desperately clutching the doorhandle to keep from sliding out of my seat, and trying my best not to *eep* because it hardly suits the Security Vibe:

That car that frequently wakes Sarah and me up between 2 and 4 AM when it zooms past our window? I'm in that car, and the person whom I have cursed at repeatedly in the dark hours of the night as I turn my iPod back on and grip Gimp Bunny bitterly is sitting to my left.

7:15 and the dumb is calling

"UPS Security, this is Wren."
"Um...hi, I have a couple of questions?"
"Yes?"
"How much is your yearly tuition?"
"..."

Please do not attend my college.

Work it.

Me: *walks from front of office to near Bossman Prime's cubicle*
Bossman Prime: *working at computer* "Oh, hey bitch."

Pause.

Me: "I assume you weren't talking to me."
Bossman Prime: "Oh, HELL no. I don't want you to rearrange my FACE."

I never thought someone who I see as a complete badass would ever say that to me.

Unwinding

Taking a bubble bath with recently dyed hair is interesting. You let your hair down, plunge your head underneath the bubbles for a couple of songs because you've always liked how they sounded underwater, and when you open your eyes you've been transported to Stanley's suicide scene from IT.

Dear red nail polish,

Fuck you for exploding all over my real silver and gold jewelry. My sapphires would like to add their best wishes for your violent demise at the hands of my lighter.

No love,
Wren, who now has to spend the next hour getting high of nailpolish remover fumes.

Thank God

I'm too sleepy to remember if I mentioned it here, but the girl who is leasing the room after me decided to move in ten days early. So, after my boss talked to a few people, I get to move into my campus house on the 14th. (Hopefully this means our furniture will be back by the 14th...)

Maddo, will you and/or Trevor be available on the 14th or 15th to move the bookcase, desk, and papasan back into the house since they won't fit in my car? We can have a move-in party and pretend we're all back in Comic House. >>

Oh God. Me in the house, two weeks early? I am going to clean, like...baseboards. It's going to be terrible.