Karmic Retribution

Well, the plane flight back to Saint Louis was quite possibly the worst day of travel I have ever undergone. I'm pretty sure the fact that I made it through security four times without issue came back to haunt me. Because you all know the Wren. Security likes to use the Wren to feel like they're doing their jobs.

I almost missed my ride to the airport, then had to go to two different places to check in and they couldn't find me record. The security line formed -as- I was walking towards it, and when I got to the person who checks your ticket and ID she tells me I've been selected to do a full security search and won't I please step this way? I get put into the "corral" and they drug test my bags and inspect my stuff, then tell me to identify everything I brought with me. Then they wanded me and checked my bra, hips, and crotch for weaponry and drugs. (No, I have -never- stashed a knife in my bra. So this is NOT "clever thinking" on their part.)

Then I get to the gate and they won't let me on the plane because the seat is wrong so I have to get THAT straightened out. Then, on the plane ride, the lady to my right takes up half of MY seat, too.

AAAND then I touch down in LA at the LAX and I have to get to the American terminal instead of the Alaska one but I can't find a fucking map of the airport or information about my flight since all the infoscreens deal with Alaskan flights -only-. So I ask a security guard, go down this escalator, go down one more, and catch a shuttle bus to a different terminal.

Then for some reason people on my flight have to go through a -different- entryway, and as the lady checks my boarding pass she freaks out and won't let me go through and then this other lady comes and she checks my flight and says she'll let me through even though my boarding pass is wrong. (...)

So then I get to the next security line, and I get selected to get a full search done -again-, so this time I get to get felt up by a rather attractive black lady who is suspicious of my pockets.

Then I get to my gate and they're boarding by group numbrs and my ticket doesn't have a group number on it, so I ask about that and they tell me to just get on the plane. So I do, and I settle down, and we get ready to go.

As we're about to leave, the captain gets on and says we need a new nose wheel, so it will be 30 minutes or so before we can depart.

An hour and a half later, we're taxi-ing to the runway. Fifteen minutes later, we take off. Our arrival time has been pushed back from 5:18 to 7:00. We haven't had any food since 11, (and I haven't had any since 8PM the night before and am working off two hours of sleep) and the ladies behind me are obnoxious and loud and keep hitting my seat.

At 6:45 the captain comes back on and tells us the winds we're flying against are too strong and we're not as far as we should be, so we have to land in Kansas City to refuel or we won't make it to Saint Louis.

At 7:10 we're back up in the air, and we arrive at STL more than three hours behind schedule. Everyone on board missed their connecting flights. My nose is so dry from the airplane air that it is bloody.

At least they didn't lose my luggage.