Next time I see "chocolate chocolate tower" on a menu, I'll believe it.

So today was the Outback-thank-you-for-all-the-time-you-spent-with-me-at-the-ER dinner. I have never eaten so much food in my LIFE. I got the grilled chicken sandwich (two words to add to the List of Things I Will NEVER Say Aloud: "Hooly-dooly" and "chook"), devoured 1/3 of a bloomin' onion, some of that YUMMY FREAKING BREAD (!!!) and then we all decided we wanted dessert.

...But we couldn't compromise, so we all got our own desserts. Sarah got a cheescake, Daryl got a sundae, and I ordered the "chocolate chocolate tower-NEW!" with a scoop of ice cream ("hooly-dooly" *shudders*)).

Ok. So soon the waitress is bringing over the tray of desserts. I see the sundae, I see the cheescake, and then there's this...THING. It is the biggest fucking piece of chocolate cake I have ever seen, and there is an Outback steak knife in it, buried to the hilt. This was, like, the Titan of cakes. And the most perfect thing I have ever seen.

Daryl sees it and a look of mild panic flows across his face. I am proud to say he knows me well enough now to understand that giving me a slab of cake and my own knife to play with is high up on the list of Bad Things that Shouldn't Happen in Public.
"It has a knife," he says urgently to the waitress, watching me quietly squee and bounce about on my side of the booth.
"Yes, it does," says the (patient) waitress.
"No, you don't understand. It has a knife."
Sarah giggles, and the waitress looks at Daryl like he's a freak and then wanders off.

I try my best to conquer the mountain of cake before me, but it takes three of my bites to eat through all the layers of the damn thing. And I swear I can watch it regenerating.

So once everyone else is done with their dessert, they look at my cake and ask if I even ate it, to which I hiss angrily and sulk. We get a box, and I take it back to the dorm.

I have a coughing fit at the base of the stairs, so Sarah and I decide to use the elevator and go walking through the first floor hall. There are signs hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the hall to about head level that pretty much say "I'M BORED!" and point to this one room. Sarah and I pop in and give him some cake, then talk for a while, then head back up to the room after giving him our room # and extension.

A little over an hour later he comes knocking and asks us to watch a movie with him, so we grab pitch black and head down. (The bastard still has it.) He's very touchy, too, (he found out I was ticklish. =_=;;;;)so by the end of the night I had pinned him twice and bitten him once. I was being nice, since I didn't know him. Otherwise he'd be badly scratched and probably have a bruised kidney. And I will KILL anyone who brings up The Nose Incident.

So after he tries to get us to watch Fern Gully, too, we flee up to our rooms. She and I were both sick of people. Well, then David and Andrew find us and beg to use our microwave. (Munchies.) Turns out Andrew is a rather belligerent stoned drunk, while David is rather laid back. Andrew was yelling at me because I had no interest in pot (*rolls eyes* because we all know I'm uptight and blah blah blah...) I had to tell him to shut the fuck up and remember whose chips he was eating a few times. Finally, he pissed me off:
Me: Give me my chips and get out of my room.
Andrew: "Sorry."
Me: "Chips. Now."
Andrew: *hands them over*
Me: "Okay, that's part one. Now get off the chair and get out."
Andrew: *gestures at David* "I'm waiting for him to get up. Let's go, man."
Me: "I never told him to get out. Just you."
Andrew: "Oh."
Me: "Alright...so go."
So he gets up and asks David to come start the movie with him.
David: "I'll be there in a few, man."

Heh. Heh. hehhehhehhehheh.