She might have been on the right track with the sign idea.

(The sign idea.) Alright, I admit it. I'm giving off single vibes. And I am so sorry, but I have no idea how to stop it!

I just caught myself flirting with Tom. Tom, the coworker. Tom, who lived next door to me freshman year. Tom, who used to knock on the door when drunk and annoy the roomie. I think that's enough proof that there is something wrong with me.

Tom, Bossman Prime, and I were sitting in the office keeping each other entertained when Tom finds a pair of thumb cuffs on another Bossman's desk.
Tom: "Why do we have these?"
Bossman Prime: "Oh, he found them in the dirt by Wyatt."

Tom studies them for a moment, looks at me, and says "Why the hell would anyone on campus have one of these?"

And what do I do? Do I make a bondage joke? In my head, yes, I do. But what I do in reality is worse. I smile. Not a jaunty grin, not a "HAHA DOMINATION" leer, but a slow, open-mouthed smile that just kinda crept across my face against my will. While making eye contact with a 21 year-old guy playing with thumbcuffs.

Tom turns bright red and starts laughing. This makes me grin harder. Then it hits me what just transpired and I start laughing from shock. "Oh God Tom, I did not want to have that moment with you."
Bossman Prime asks Tom "What did you just do? Are you being gross?"
"No," he says. "Wren was giving me an intriguing look..." And he grins again.
I hide in my hoodie and order him to put the thumbcuffs away.
"Yes, mistress."

I want to die.