Allium is the scientific name for "Onion." We are so sued.

I've got the first rough draft done for one of my two articles appearing in this semester's science magazine. It's an update of something Sarah and I wrote collectively when we were taking Ecology, modified to more accurately suit the tongue-in-cheek, subtle humor of our satire section. If you're interested in reading the draft, here it is. The original is posted here, though I'd suggest not reading it first. There has been a shift in humor from ridiculous to sly, and I'm sad to say the original suffers upon comparison.