The Idiot's Guide to Finding Me at Work

AT 5:00, when the shift starts:
Still driving to work. Possibly getting into my car. Yes, all you people who IM me have a LOT to do with this. I'm the one in traffic with the windows down no matter what the weather is and blissfully blessing the surrounding area with her current musical obsession.

WHEN IT'S BUSY:
If active seller-I'm the one off in a corner glaring at customers and muttering to herself. I'm wearing a dorky red apron and my nametag is probably on upside down.
If cashier-I'm the one in the blue shirt who is looking you in the eyes and telling you that yes, you WILL be paying your late fees. I am also probably being a cold hard bitch to the young blonde boy in the pink shirt who is trying to hit on me. And his friends are snickering. If you're not sure enough, I'm the one who's knees crack when she crouches to get stuff out of the drop box.

WHEN IT'S EMPTY: Sitting on the floor watching TV. Or sitting underneath the security camera on the counter eating/reading a magazine. They can't see me. They have no proof. BWAHAHA. It is also possible that I am out on the floor talking to some of our regular late-night customers/my friends. If I am in my khaki pants, rest assured that they are falling down and my shirt is coming untucked. If I am in my skirt, I am probably holding boxcutters and grinning ominously at incoming customers.

AFTER 8PM: Sitting in my car in the parking lot, blissfully listening to music and enjoying fifteen minutes of peace.

IF MY STALKER COMES IN: In the back. With a walkie talkie. Awaiting an "all clear". You'll know if I'm back there, because there will be bad singing coming from the talkie up front.

AFTER CLOSE: I'm the one dancing in drama with my mp3 player on. Yes, I look like an ass. Yes, we are closed. I'm also probably the one telling you to go away. Stop tapping on the glass.