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I don't know what to do with myself today. I've had a royal attack of angst. I realized today that I have two more months of the pointlessness that is school to get through, and I don't even have enough willpower to make it through two days of it. Funny thing is, I need to make it through at least four. But the thought of four more days of school makes me want to cry.

I'm just so sick of it. I don't want to get up and do the same thing every morning, go to the same classes, come home and do the same pointless homework, and listen to the same stupid babble from Fam. I don't want to do presentations on belladonna or program calculators or write papers on why we should be good/ the satirization of the overimportance appearance is given while judging character in Pride and Prejudice. Mostly I don't want to live in this house anymore. I'm considering sleeping in the treehouse; I have no issues when I'm outside. It's just when I'm indoors. This whole damn place makes me claustrophobic now.

Funny thing about me being sick of routine, though? It's never going to change. Whatever I do with my life, it will always turn into the same-ol, same-ol. So what am I doing getting all upset NOW? Why am I setting myself up for even more anxiety later on?

That's the problem: It's not hard to KNOW things will never change, and that my life is destined to be routine. It's another thing entirely to realize it's actually true.

Denial of fate. Heh. Go me.