I Need to Find My Equilibrium

I once told Ms. Batgirl that my goal in life is to foster a sense of disequilibrium in everyone around me. I did not, however, want to include MYSELF in that goal. I need to find my happy medium, sit down, and stay there indefinitely.

If you can't tell, this is shaping up to be a pretty bad day. The three people I desperately want to talk to about it, tho, are not online, so I'm shut up in my room, letting my disappointment fester. See, I got home from inventory at 4:45 AM and promptly collapsed into bed, and the day has been all downhill from there. I was just drifting off to sleep when I heard Fam wake up and go into the kitchen. Once there, she began to UNLOAD THE DISHWASHER. IT WAS 5 AM. W H A T T H E H E L L ! She wasn't even attempting to do it quietly. Cabinets were slamming, dishes were crashing to the floor, etc. So I drag my tired ass out of bed, resenting every cell in her body because she had gotten a full night's rest while I was off messing up my wrists some more, open my door, and say as politely as my brain would allow: "Could you wait until a less ungodly hour of the morning to clean the kitchen?"

A moment of silence. Then, slightly miffed: "I was done, anyway."

Riiiiight. I slump back into bed and am woken up by my alarm at 10AM. I get up, get ready to go over to hang with Fro, God, SLAM, and Mr. 7-7-7. SLAM comes to pick me up, and we drop by my work to get some soda. MOD-sama is working, and he is pissed. So he tells me yes, I do have to come in, but he doesn't necessarily want me to ruin my day, so not to come in at two. He's mad because he's opening alone on a Saturday morning the day after inventory. And I do not blame him. So I told him I'd be in around three.

Well, then off to God and Fro's. We hang out for a bit, then God gets a migraine, so everyone packs up to head home. SLAM had told me earlier he wanted to hang out with me after D&D, so I suggested that we play some frisbee. But he changed his mind and decided he'd rather swordfight with Fro and his buddies instead. So he dropped my ass off.

What pisses me off about this is that he had just gotten done throwing a small fit b/c I was going to be busy with a group project all next week. And here was a chance for us to hang out. I was in a good mood, and I wanted to see him before work, but no. So here I am, in my room, highly upset, while he's off outside beating people up.

Why am I so upset, tho? I guess it's because I feel snubbed. And because I feel like he reneged on our plans. And, ok, FINE...I really wanted to see him.

I need a hug.

So, as you can see, Random Reader, I am not quite in the best state of mind to Active Sell tonight. And I have this overwhelming urge to go get something pierced.

The moral of the story? I'll be headed into work at two or so, since there's nothing better for me to do anymore today. I might as well get PAID to be miserable and pissy, ya know? Well, just a warning, there is no way possible for me to get enough eyeliner on to compensate for how I feel. So all the customers tonight are probably screwed.

I have a Buddha fish on my car. ::bitter laughter:: If only I took my own advice and saw everything in perspective once in a while.