My family has yet to send my tuition check. It was due 11 days ago.

*sighs*

Dear Partnerman (Coda)

Don't get me wrong. I love working with you. So does Dispatcher. But sometimes you can be the biggest fucking know-it-all on the planet. And since I am prone to fits of that myself, might I suggest that that is certainly saying something?

Today I wanted to take the trainee around. He'd done all the buildings you were doing, and you monopolized him the day before. Yes, you've been here longer, and you're the patrol lead, but Bossman had no problem with me training him some, as well. Your response? "But you have no idea what you're doing!"

One hour later you left a girl you'd had an admit assigned for to rot in a dorm breezeway for two hours. I smell a bit of hypocrisy. I may not have the experience, but I have the training, and if I can't answer a question, I will refer him to our fucking boss. I'm not afraid to tell him I don't know something. He knows I just finished my own training period, because I was very up front with him about that.

Then, when trainee and I dealt with crazy fence-hopping landscapers of doom, you had the nerve to criticise the way we handled it. Did Bossman find them, no problem? Yes. Did we keep them in our line of sight without them knowing we were there? Yes. Did everything get resolved quickly? Damn skippy it did. So what was the problem?

I am so ready for summer to be over. I like you much better as my aquaintance.

::EDIT::
Prince Abubu: on another note, "Manstork" is the most awesome thing I have ever called anyone in my blog
Mike: Who is Manstork?
Prince Abubu: Partnerman
Mike: He is a tall man?
Prince Abubu: yes
Mike: Ah. Does he deliver babies?
Prince Abubu: OH MY GOD I HOPE NOT
Mike: Babies for all, courtesy of Partnerman!
Prince Abubu: I hate you so much sometimes.

<3

XD

I just did an admit for my new RCC (RA for campus houses) into her own house. She was quite embarassed.

*snerk*

I have made a difference!

I ran into one of my old Biology professors (who is now the deparment chair) while locking up the science building, and we got to talking about last year's Cell Biology lab/exam hell. Basically, one lab always gets stuck having an exam right after their lab day. For the entire semester. And most students think that is incredibly unfair. She thought about it, and has decided to e-mail other professors and see if they can start moving exams to days when there are neither classes nor lab so one section of students doesn't always get mindraped by 12 hours of their Bio class ever again.

Can I get an Alleluia?

Observational Skills Rock

I just spent ten minutes crawling around on the dining room floor attempting to locate the earbud tip to my iPod headphones after I accidentally ripped them out of my ears. At minute eleven, I realized the earbud tip was still in my ear.

I am such a dork.

Gadget!

A little over 16 gigs of music (culled from about 22).
No missing artists.
No missing albums.
Cover art for every song.
Custom graphics.

Once my iSkin gets here, my iPod is going to be bitchin'.

Chew Toy Requiem

My new iPod arrived yesterday, and I've been obsessively organizing my music, adding album art, and hacking the graphics ever since. (Squeakerbunny shall take over the world.) I'm debating between "Gadget" and "Squeaklet" as new names, because I don't feel right naming it after Chew Toy. It's too streamlined. >>

For those of you who don't know, Chew Toy entered its death throes a couple of months ago after attempting to stage a coup on Squeaker. Squeaker survived, though I had to reskin a lot of it, and Chew Toy survived...in a way. I could no longer edit or access the songs on it from a computer. Or attach it to a computer at all without things exploding. But, it still played fine, so I just plugged it into the wall to charge it and hoped I wouldn't get sick of the music on it.

This lasted until my vacation with Fam. I suppose my iPod, in its already weakened state, could no longer withstand her blathering on incessantly snoring and quetly slipped into a coma one night.

I mourned the loss of my music for a month. Tim came to visit and did his best to fix it, but nothing was working. He tried to convince me to give up.

"Prove it's broken."
"Okay, give it he-"
"NO!"

Cue a violent struggle between us, him grabbing for the iPod, and me alternately assaulting his ears with my screams and his kidneys with my feet. In the midst of this, the backlight of the screen goes on, and lo! everything looks normal.

We both stop and stare because the iPod was on hold the entire time we were fighting.

Unfortunately, just because it turned back on didn't mean was as good as new. In the end, only one song remained on my iPod.

If you ever want a rousing rendition of "Dude Looks Like a Lady," pick up Chew Toy and pop in the earbuds. It will gladly play it for you. Sometimes.

I just had the most uncomfortable experience POSSIBLE while trying to drink a bottle of cream soda.

"Let's go get some air for the passengers" is probably the wierdest line I've heard in a while.

Snakes on a Plane gets massive, massive points for satire.

It loses massive, massive points for its blatent lack of caring about herpetology. Then again, it was so obvious they didn't give a fuck about this that maybe it has lost so much that became a win. Some sort of quantum fucking physics herpetology loss-transmogrification took place in that theater. (ANACONDA WOT?)

But the crowd was awesome, and I do not think I have laughed that hard in a long, long time. I think the people behind me were in tears. TEARS.

Dear Fam:

Stop taking everything so fucking personally. When my car fucking died in the airport parking garage, I called you.

"You were screaming at me!"
"I was not. It was loud, and I was incredibly upset."
"Well what can I do? I'm three thousand miles away!"

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM UPSET, BITCH?

Things are fine with the car now. But I have no intention of calling Fam any time in the near future. She makes things three times as difficult as they ever need to be.

I am the best girlfriend ever.

Next week is swiftly taking shape in my head. Here's how it looks so far:

Tuesday the 15th: Watch movies and get settled into Comic House. Fall back in love with kitchen by cooking yummy dinner.
Wednesday the 16th: Hang out with Maddo and Sarah? (Hint hint, guys, RSVP. I'd be willing to head to Oly for this one.)
Thursday the 17th: Snakes on a Plane opening show, 10 PM.
Friday the 18th: Work from 7 AM -4 PM (I was blackmailed). Dinner out at the Melting Pot. (Note to self: Make reservation when I wake up.)
Saturday the 19th: Iunno. Hike? More Sarah and Maddo? MAYBE ALL THREE?
Sunday the 20th: Head into Seattle, check into the University Tower Hotel at 3PM. Take the Seattle Underground tour at 6, and eat dinner at the best Thai restaurant in town at 8PM (Yes, I am talking about Typhoon). There's also a Greek Place. (Note to self: Make reservations.)
Monday the 21st: Meet up with everyone in Seattle and make an Uwajimaya run! I'd also like to go to the Woodland Park Zoo if anyone else is interested. >>
Tuesday the 22nd: Iunno yet! I'm too busy being AWESOME to plan that far ahead. But I'll bet it involves being broke. ^^;; But whatever. I'm only me once. And it's not like I have rent or bills to pay next month.

Blockbuster was never this fun

Tonight was a night of rediscovery at UPS security. Dispatcher and I rediscovered our inner children by discussing A Ring of Endless Light and Matilda. And Partnerman? Well, he rediscovered his inner child by poking us repeatedly with a bamboo cane.

Allow me to elaborate.

Wren: *OMGBOOKgrippingpartdramadramatotalengrossment*
Partnerman: *POKEWRENSFOOTLOL*
Wren: *startledglare*
Partnerman: *littleboygrin*
Wren: *giggles hysterically* "You are a BASTARD. I was totally into my book."
Partnerman: "Oh, I know."
Wren: *giggleglare*

And then:

Dispatcher: *typetypetypeyay*
Partnerman: *POKEHEIGHTADJUSTERLOL*
Dispatcher: *suddenlydropsafootlower* "HEY!"

Pause.

Partnerman: *gigglepokebackadjuster*
Dispatcher: *isbentoverbyweightofchair* "AAGH!"

Pause.

Partnerman: *ROFLpokeseatadjuster*
Dispatcher: *isalmostdroppedonfloor*

Pause.

Wren: "You look like a hermit crab."
Dispatcher: *fumes* I KNOW.
Partnerman: *painface*

Pause.

Partnerman: "Why haven't you fixed your seat?"
Dispatcher: "Because I know you'll just do all that again."
Partnerman: "Damnit!"
Partnerman: >>
Partnerman: *sneaksneaksneak*
Wren: *rolls away in chair* NO.

And finally:

Partnerman: *swingcane, swingcane, swingcane, swingcane*
Wren's peripheral vision: *OMFGCANE!*
Wren: *glare*
Partnerman: *giggle*
Wren: *giggle*
Partnerman: *giggle*
Wren: *giggle*
Partnerman: *giggle*
Wren: *giggle*
Dispatcher: *stare*
Wren: "He almost hit me in the face with the cane."
Dispatcher: "Oh. I would also be laughing if that were in my immediate future..."

In the end, I'd say the dispatcher and I made one final discovery: Neither of us are yet ready for children of our own. And our bosses, who all already have their own, discovered they were happy we belonged to someone else.

So tonight there was an arrest. A couple were fighting, and the female ended up getting sent to jail.

I told this to a coworker, and he goes "Wow. I've never heard of a girl being the aggressor."

I started laughing quasi-hysterically. He obviously had no idea whom he was speaking to.

It is now my greatest goal in life to not live past 50

I simply cannot imagine being a functional human being at that point.

I just got woken up by pain in my legs so severe that I cannot go back to bed. I finally found some extra strength pain meds, took three, and am now in some sort of throbbing purgatory until they kick in.

If I have arthritis pain this bad at 20, I am not looking forward to the future. I can't even find the words to describe what this feels like.

...fuck.

I forgot to lock an entire building tonight.

Luckily, when I told my boss at shift change and offered to stay late to take care of it, he said he'd do it, and thanked me for my honesty. I think he knew by the look on my face that I really didn't need to be reprimanded.

So yeah. I'm going to go feel dumb now.

Back to School Present to ME! ^^

I just bought 12 books. The one-click ordering on Amazon is evil, but I figure I just spent what I'd normally be spending on rent on books, so it evens out.

Here's the breakdown. As you can see, it started out seminormal, and then I got an attack of childhood:

1&2) The Tale of Genji- Murasaki Shikibu: Two-volume hardcover boxed set, the newest translation.
3) IT- Stephen King: Hardcover First Edition.
4) Dragonsdawn- Anne McCaffrey: Hardcover First Edition.
5) The White Dragon- Anne McCaffrey: Hardcover Reissue (But only the 3rd in the series. Eat me, you stupid publisherpeople.)
6&7) Exiles Volumes I and II- Melanie Rawn: Hardcover First Edition (WRITE THE THIRD ONE ALREADY I'VE BEEN WAITING SINCE I WAS 12.)
8) A Ring of Endless Light- Madeline L'Engle: Hardcover Reissue (The last copy in stock. >>)
9-12)The Time Quartet- Madeline L'Engle: Special Edition boxed set of all four of the novels (Wrinkle in Time, Wind in the Door, Swiftly Tilting Planet, and Many Waters).

I think that's it! Now they need to get here so I can reads them. (hehe...All female writers except for Stephen King.)

Purgatory

I was sitting here at the desk, bored out of my mind, feeling more and more like a secretary as the day went by, and then discovered the Bagel Man had been there the night before.

My breath now tastes like basil. AND I AM HAPPY.

Also, I'm trying to figure out what shifts will work with my schedule. I think I have it figured out. Classes from 8-11 on Monday, and then work from 4-12. No class till 11 on Tuesday, and only one class, so that leaves plenty of time to get my homework done. Then, for my second shift, I want Friday Grave, so I work from midnight to 8AM. That leaves me plenty of time to do homework and hang out with the housies.

::EDIT 4PM::
This shift is DEAD. Nothing is happening. So much so, in fact, that my boss sent the dispatcher home until 8 or 8:30. I have no buildings to unlock until 2100, and don't fancy four hours of randomly fucking about in the great outdoors when I am crazy tired.

So, here I am for another four hours. Time to update Shoshin and my recipe blog.

Epiphany

I realized something tonight as I was sitting in the passenger seat of the patrol car, desperately clutching the doorhandle to keep from sliding out of my seat, and trying my best not to *eep* because it hardly suits the Security Vibe:

That car that frequently wakes Sarah and me up between 2 and 4 AM when it zooms past our window? I'm in that car, and the person whom I have cursed at repeatedly in the dark hours of the night as I turn my iPod back on and grip Gimp Bunny bitterly is sitting to my left.

7:15 and the dumb is calling

"UPS Security, this is Wren."
"Um...hi, I have a couple of questions?"
"Yes?"
"How much is your yearly tuition?"
"..."

Please do not attend my college.

Work it.

Me: *walks from front of office to near Bossman Prime's cubicle*
Bossman Prime: *working at computer* "Oh, hey bitch."

Pause.

Me: "I assume you weren't talking to me."
Bossman Prime: "Oh, HELL no. I don't want you to rearrange my FACE."

I never thought someone who I see as a complete badass would ever say that to me.

Unwinding

Taking a bubble bath with recently dyed hair is interesting. You let your hair down, plunge your head underneath the bubbles for a couple of songs because you've always liked how they sounded underwater, and when you open your eyes you've been transported to Stanley's suicide scene from IT.

Dear red nail polish,

Fuck you for exploding all over my real silver and gold jewelry. My sapphires would like to add their best wishes for your violent demise at the hands of my lighter.

No love,
Wren, who now has to spend the next hour getting high of nailpolish remover fumes.

Thank God

I'm too sleepy to remember if I mentioned it here, but the girl who is leasing the room after me decided to move in ten days early. So, after my boss talked to a few people, I get to move into my campus house on the 14th. (Hopefully this means our furniture will be back by the 14th...)

Maddo, will you and/or Trevor be available on the 14th or 15th to move the bookcase, desk, and papasan back into the house since they won't fit in my car? We can have a move-in party and pretend we're all back in Comic House. >>

Oh God. Me in the house, two weeks early? I am going to clean, like...baseboards. It's going to be terrible.

There is no pleasing these people.

I smile. I offer to help with the dishes. I didn't bring my Blow Me or Porn shirt. I've been wearing skirts and keeping my elbows off the table. I even toned down my frigging hair and have been wearing a clear tongue stud.

So of course you have to find a problem elsewhere and assume I am making out with/boinking your son from anywhere from the living room couch, to the garage, to his sister's fucking BED. With no provocation. It's not like you walked in on us, or anything. And you know what? You haven't seen anything because there was nothing to see.

Which begs the question...

WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM?

I don't care how much sleep I got. 6:30 AM my time to wake up?

UNACCEPTABLE. >.<

I am so many kinds of awesome

I finally found a Sim that will work for me. I still need to tweak her mouth a little, and the hair is a bit long, but I present to you the almost-complete Wrensim anyway!


This is mostly just to show you the eyes and the freckles. Cheeks are too plump at this point, and I abandoned that hairstyle in favor of one where the hair is down.





Full body. I think I did pretty damned good on my profile. I had no idea what my profile even LOOKED like before I started this. I may be, you know, ME, but I discovered that I had spent very little time actually paying attention to what I look like. Maddo and Sarah I did from memory, but me? Had to use just about every damned picture of me I own. (And that's a lot of pictures.)


Action shot one. Pensive Wren?

...I am SO putting grommets on that belt.


Action shot two. Could that possibly be a SMILE? >>

And then for a formal outfit, I decided that nothing but a femtux would do. Again, ignore the old hairstyle. (Though it doesn't look bad with the tophat!)


Ohhhh yeah.

Shakespeare just got to get paid, son.

Sarahsim is complete as scheduled. Next I am going to start work on Daryl, because Matt should be the easiest, and I CANNOT MAKE A SIM THAT LOOKS LIKE ME. Look. LOOK.


..Okay, ignore what she's doing, because that's actually pretty accurate.

Needs more bondage belt. And more glasses. I require librarian glasses.

But Sarahsim turned out quite well once I finally found hair that would work. She comes in two colors: blonde and black.



Some of the humor comes from the clothing names. Her bottom set is "Dark Jeans with All-Weather Black Sandals." If you know Sarah, you get it instantly. >>

I'm still trying to find her a black jacket. If I can figure out how to do some more hardcore editing, I'll be able to make her one.

I'm headed out of town until the 1st or so, so I won't be online much, but I'll be reachable by phone, e-mail, and blog. Sim project is on hiatus until I get back; Squeaker doesn't have Sims on it, and I'm leaving Papoose at work for the boys since we're terribly short next week and most of them will be stuck dispatching for eight hours or more. Putting a patrolperson behind a desk is a cruel crime.

And, before I go, a tale of three hundred cheerleaders and one old pervert. (I am so glad I get paid what I do. This and the cobweb+eye thing happened less than 24 hours apart. I have to GET A NEW CONTACT LENS.)

Ew.

Last night I was doing housing checks at 11PM and got a cobweb in my eye. Yeah, let's just combine my two phobias into one lovely package! I was so distracted when this happened that I ended up walking through a bush. Yes, through. I was on the phone with Mike. He can testify.

My probation ended today, so I am now officially UPS Security. I was told they liked me because I was reliable and am willing to help cover other people's shifts...and that I patrol with Partnerman too much. That's not my fault; I've told him it's an issue, and he will meet up with me anyway. But, summer is almost over, and I'll end up with new people in the fall, most likely, so I'm not too worried about this.

I have to finalize the Maddosim (she still needs an athletic outfit, and I want to tweak her eye color) and the Sarahsim (which I tested briefly before work) before I catch my plane tomorrow. I am still having a hard time getting my sim right. I guess I just need to break down and make a Read shirt and throw on some cargos and call it a day.

I heard you were dead (redux)

Nope, just recreating Comic House again. I cancelled my WoW account and bought The Sims 2, and have since been modding and skinning the game like crazy. My own character is proving very difficult to get right due to a lack of decent glasses templates, so last night I gave up and decided to work on Maddo.

Here is the real deal:


And here is the Maddosim:


There are a couple of differences, of course. The glasses are the wrong shape (but I did change the color to make them work better,) and real Maddo isn't wearing lipstick or smiling in her picture. XP*

I also made Maddosim an outfit that reminds me of two pieces of clothing I really associate with her. The shirt is her "The Protean Self" band shirt- hence the drama masks, and the pants are...red plaid pants. The original pants I used were gothic, had huge flares, and there were skulls and grommets everywhere. They were also guy's pants. So look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.



I'm going to try to tweak the belt to work better with the cut of the pants, and give her close-toed slippers instead of those sandals. The hair is a style I found online that I recolored to match her bleached red hair that she loved (and misses muchly.)

I made a Superman pj/underwear set for her, too, but the sim looks so much like her that I don't feel comfortable posting the screencap online. >.<; (The same goes for her swimsuit.) I'll probably make a Spiderman set, too, but the S logo was a lot easier to edit on than the webbing would be. (Daryl is totally getting Spidey boxers, tho.)

But, I will show you the formal dress I edited for her. It reminds me of a lot of her more formal clothes, among them the silk pants set she wore to Typhoon during that weekend in Seattle.



And that's it. That is why I am sitting here at work and am incredibly tired and headachy. Luckily this is my only 12-hour shift this go-round.

I'm going to start work on Sarah as soon as I can find a hairstyle that works. Why does no one make long hair tucked behind the ears? COME ON PEOPLE. That and standalone cartilage piercings seem to be impossible to locate.

Ohwait. I've just had an apostrophe. Now I just need to get back home to my editing program and try it out.

Merciful Heavens were not in today's forecast.

Dear Stockroom Idiot:
I do not get paid enough to talk to you when you are in your underwear. No, really. Trot back around the fucking corner and get out of my sight. I reject this entire situation.

You are a TERRORIST!

Telemarketing is permanent life destruction. We cannot LIVE!

Dear Partnerman:

I could have given you a long, angry response after you told me you were "trying to speed me up because I walk really slow," but I didn't. Instead, I kept walking at my normal pace and let you run off ahead; this may have annoyed you, but it also kept you alive. Thank me later.

I'm sorry that it's such an inconvenience to you, Manstork. I've had to go through physical therapy twice in the past six years so I could walk. I've broken both my legs, and my knees have gone out twice. Because of this, on damp, chilly days my joints stiffen and my old fractures ache. But, none of that is information you need to know, because what you think of me does not matter. You're not my boss, you're just some kid with a big mouth and no tact who's two inches taller and a year ahead of me.

Tonight happends to be one of those damp and chilly days. I cannot walk any faster right now because of my lovely arthritic flare-up. You're lucky I'm walking at all. But you know what? It shouldn't be a fucking problem, anyway, because no one ever said you and I have to patrol together. In fact, last shift we got in trouble because they think we hang out too much. Head off on your own so you can "cover more ground" and leave me be.

Kthxdie.

Is spending time with family supposed to be that emotionally exhausting?

Erm.

I woke up this morning, and my hair was wavy.

I have no styling stuff with me, so I just kinda stared and went "Ah, fuck it."

Also, my cell phone is dead, so any calls today will be missed. If I'm needed, e-mail me.

Whee!

We just biked ten miles.

God, that was so much fun.

Hardtail I was on sucked so much ass, tho. Oh my God. The seat was made of freaking MARBLE, for one. Definitely not getting that bike. XD

With age comes BORING.

I've been thinking about this more and more intently since it idly crossed my mind at Point Defiance the other day. I was sitting on the sand cliffs at the end of the point, looking out at the bridge, enjoying the stiff breeze that always comes off the water there. The tide was out, so a ways below me was a pebble beach with really nice-looking waves that was absolutely vacant. I wanted to go down there, and there was a path down the side of the cliff, but I didn't.

Ten years ago I would have headed down that path without a second thought. That day I sat there and immediately thought "where would I leave my book? I'm wearing the wrong shoes for that. I could fall or roll my ankle. Getting back up would be a pain. What if the tide comes in?"

What the fuck! Ten years ago I would have stashed my book in a tree and gone down the damn slope BAREFOOT if I thought it would give me a better grip. What the hell happened to me? Is this adulthood creeping up?

I say fuck that. I'm going back there when I get back to town and climbing down that damned path and sitting on that beach. The last thing I want to do is forget how to have fun or lose my sense of adventure.

"Quick, to the Uglymobile!"

Uglymobile.

I ended up sleeping under the sink last night because Fam's snoring was so bad. When she woke up at 4:45 AM and headed for the bathroom, she freaked out when she found me on the floor. I was perfectly comfortable!

But, I now have my own room in the bed-and-breakfast we're staying at. Which is a very lovely house, and the owner seems nice. A little brusque. There is a wine-and-cheese tasting at 6PM, and a hot tub. Fam and I are going to see The Lake House tonight, and then go on a 6-mile bike trail around the lake tomorrow. (That will get me even more psyched to buy my bike when I get back into town.)

Apparently Coeur d'Alene is the white supremecist capital of the nation. I have seen one non-white person since we arrived, and people have been FREAKING OUT about my hair. It's a little unsettling, but at least the lake is pretty. It's like I told Fam: come here for the scenery, not the culture.

We may do some shopping tomorrow, too. I'm in a jewelry mood. I need earrings.

My aunt snores.

I am so fucking tired.

In which I almost die a lot.

Fam decided to rent a full-size luxury sedan and drive us from the airport to the hotel. While on Valium.

DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE THE FORESIGHT TO SEE THE PROBLEM HERE?

"Oh, I feel fine!"
"I know you do. Trust me, I can TELL that you feel perfectly fine."

But I let her. That is a mistake I will never make again.

1) Directions are impossible for someone on Valium to understand, apparently, because "take the next left" becomes "let's merge onto the highway!"

2) It is permissable to make left turns from the rightmost lane out of four of a one-way street. On a red light. Three times in a row.

3) Left turns no longer need to yield to oncoming traffic, either. That convertible CLEARLY has brakes, and should be using them right about...NOW.

It was like being stuck on a rollercoaster in an amusement park run by Pennywise the Clown. Downtown Spokane will never be the same. Though, looking out the window, that may be a good thing.

Plane Post

Blogging from a propeller plane. I think my feet are going to go numb from the vibrations before we get there. I am so glad the flight only lasts for 45 minutes.

So apparently we're not going to a spa at all. We're just going to a town neither of us have ever really been to...for two days. I think I remember there being a bike trail around the lake, tho, so hopefully this won't end too badly. Fam is quite cracked out so she can fly, and it has been a little stressful, but if things settle down I'll be peachy.

Not much to say except I want a new iPod, a bike, a motorcycle, and a corgi. I'm obsessed. And the answer to this is obviously the episode of Cowboy Bebop where Ein appears.

I fucking love this computer.

Dear Prostitot Cheerleaders:

1) Put some goddamn pants on. I don't need to see your ass, Ms. Hot Pants. You are 12. Girl in thong who got locked out of her room, you are 16, and only SLIGHTY more forgiven.

2) It is not funny to go "hee hee! Wren's back! Haven't you been here, like, three times already?"
"...yes." STOP LEAVING WITHOUT YOUR KEYS.

3) After I open your door, don't stare at it and go "How do I unlock this big boy?" Do keys not EXIST in your orbit?

4) To the six girls who got locked out of their rooms at once after showering. The proper response to seeing me is:
a) To shout "yay, the keys are here!" and run screaming at me to give me a soggy loliphile group hug.
b) To not do the above.

I'll give you a hint. It's not a). I am not "the keys", and the idea of having you all pawing at me in joy makes me wish I were a turtle so I could just drop and HIDE IN AN IMPENETRABLE SHELL. Other people, however, seem to find it amusing:

Prince Abubu: I had six soaking wet cheerleaders try to give me a group hug when I unlocked their rooms last night.
John: ohh man
Prince Abubu: I almost killed them
John: I am just trying to see that
John: wow that is really funny
Prince Abubu: It was me screaming 'no, no! Ladies, we do NOT touch the security guard!"
John: ha ha ha, ohh man
John: that is good
John: that improved my mood greatly
Prince Abubu: well, I'm glad someone benefitted from my pain. XP*

Well, that was unexpected.

While I'm messing around on the time entry menu today I discover that I am now making 12.45 an hour.

I have always hated spinach

And I'm pretty sure I always will. But whatever.

There are easier ways for me to be healthier, anyway. I've stopped buying pop and junk food for the house. I also have foods that take time to make, so I'm less likely to eat out of boredom. And I don't carry enough money to buy fast food (I have this thing about credit cards at fast food places. I dunno.)

I've been craving chocolate ice cream for three days now, tho. Or is it four or five? But now I have an attack of stubborness, and I refuse to give in because it would depress me, anyway.

>>

Yes, Wren Self-Prevention at work again. I know me too well. Too bad I won't be able to do this once I'm back eating full-time at the SUB.

Zach's Back

Gotta love those random texts at 11PM...

Zach: Nice hair.
Me: How the hell... (I thought he was in Germany, and had not seen him since last month.)
Zach: Saw you earlier.
Me: Why didn't you come say hi? =(
Zach: Wasn't an option. (...)
Me: Okay then.
Zach: How is work and summer?
Me: Work is great, but summer is boring, since most people are out of town still.

And then he stopped texting, which leads me to believe he was too drunk to continue pushing buttons.

*relief*

Well, I got a low B in Oceanography after all was said and done, which boosted my entire (though not my major) GPA closer to a respectable number. Hopefully I do better next semester, too. Regular exercise should help boost my immune system and energy levels, for one.

"Tattoo removal services are making a killing off people’s stupidity. "- Seth Macfarlane

So very, sadly true.

Reminds me of the time Flamer Matt wanted me to lotion his freshly done tattoos, one kanji on each shoulder. He told me what they meant, and I knew enough Japanese to realize he was wrong...just not enough to know what he'd actually gotten himself branded with.

Dear Body:

Please tell me why you have stopped liking chicken. Do you know how hard it is going to be to eat out anywhere now?

Love,
Brain

Safeway

Little Girl: "WHOA! What color is her hair!"
Biker Dad: *looks down aisle, proceeds to throw up the horns at me*
Me: *taking this in stride* "I don't know, what color IS my hair?"
Biker Mom: "It looks green, doesn't it honey!"
Little Girl: "Did you make it that way?"
Me: "Yes I did!"
Biker Dad: "No she didn't! All faeries have green hair!"
Me: "...not a fairy."
Biker Dad: "She's a faerie!"
Me: *FLEE*
Little Girl: "YOU'RE NOT A FAIRY! YOU'RE NOT A FAIRY!"
Biker Mom: "Hush!"

Biker Dad, you fail.

Ah, Fourth of July...

Fin.

I NEED TO NOT DO THINGS LIKE THIS

*room is full of security people, eating tons of food and chilling. The door is locked, and a sign on the door says KNOCK, WE'RE OPEN.*
Friend: "I cannot BELIEVE how much money you guys are making right now. LOOK AT YOU!"
Me: "I know! I'm making 18 dollars an hour to *yak* ...cough on lemons!"
Room: "..."
Me: *hysterical laughter*
Friend: "The sad thing is that is NOT the first time I've heard someone say that."

It took me a full five minutes to stop laughing.

Actually, I lied.

I'm still laughing. *snerk*

Oh, do continue...

"That's George Washington, the first president, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three—three or four books about him last year. Isn't that interesting?"—President Bush, showing German newspaper reporter Kai Diekmann the Oval Office, Washington, D.C., May 5, 2006

Bitches!

"I am having lunch!"
"I had breakfast made for me. Hah."
"Yes, and you have a wonderful girlfriend, which is a luxury I don't possess."
"Aww, I'm sure you'll find the right girl for you one day."
"Hardly. They're pretty to look at, but I'd go insane if I dated one."
"Funny, now that you mention that..."
"XD"

I really love my coworkers. I'm filling in for a kid who swears up and down he's sick (I call Fourth of July Jungle Fever), but I'm not about to complain because I'm making 12 hours worth of time-and-a-half for being here. Also, the grave shift is coming back around 6, and we're going to have a 4th-of-July barbeque. All in all, far more than I would have been doing had I not been called in, and while making $215.

God, that's as much as I used to get as my entire PAYCHECK at Blockbuster. I cannot believe I spent two years there.

On another note: I'll be spending my free time today making a Blue Seed AMV.

Happy Fourth of July, everyone!

Two stories

Both posted over at customers suck:

Summer lovin, having a blast! Summer lovin, happened so fast. I met a girl, crazy for me, I met a guy, cute as can be. Summer days, drifting away, but ah! for those summer nights!

In your itsy bitsy teeny weeny riding up the butt bikini, keeping on the heels cuz you're sagging just a teeny bit more than the girls he pretends he doesn't thrill, rubbing on the lotion, and rockin on the horse sized pills.

Typing to keep myself awake

After work yesterday, I actually fell asleep sitting up while arranging my bedclothes around me. I woke up a few hours later lying on my legs, completely disoriented, and in an incredible amount of pain due to my hip being pissed off. Feels fine now, tho. Still, I didn't think I was -quite- that tired.

The dispatcher and I had a mind-reading moment today when Partnerman walked in wearing a pumpkin, red, purple, and grey plaid shirt over a red undershirt with white shorts and orange flip-flops. Everything was going fine until we made eye contact. She grinned, I snickered, and it was downhill from there.

Partnerman's roomie: "What are you guys laughing at?"
Me: "We're having a girl moment. It would be best not to notice."
Partnerman: "What?"
Dispatcher: "It looks like you just got in from Hawaii."
Me: "Don't be silly! There's no plaid in Hawaii!"
Partnerman: - -;;

It was the white shorts that did me in, in all honesty. Though he usually has better dress sense than that. When we first started working together I had him pegged for a nerd because he always buttoned his polo up completely (including the forbidden "dork button"). Well, one day he forgot, and I learned the actual reason why. Thus, I assume today was laundry day.

Days off!

So, who wants to go see The Devil Wears Prada with me? I ADORE Meryl Streep.

Icons and hate

Straight from the PotC: Dead Man's Chest trailer. Johnny's next line is "I happen to have no dress in my cabin!"

Unfortunately, due to the amount of time I spent getting the perfect screenshot for this icon, I'm pretty convinced Elizabeth and Jack don't actually kiss. Her eyes are open, his are shut, and she pulls away from him slightly.

Maybe she's just a tease and there's still hope for hot sex. Happy thoughts, Wren.


This one is for Maddo. And those of you who see the movie MUST AGREE THAT IT IS TRUE. Tumnus crowns her and thinks "ah, now to wait ten years." *thumb-twiddle*

Though I can't decide if I should make one that is less overly cheesy and more, I dunno, less subtly joking. Maybe if I can master the art of the animated gif I'll give it another go.

Here's the banner I made, also for Maddo. (Tell me if you want different dimensions...)

Yes, that is star eraser brush+lens flare. SHAMELESS. ^^


And finally, what happens when you have twelve hours of shift and one actual hour of work to do. Yah, that's a sketch from Poe's LJ, badly colored and butchered by me at 4AM.

It's not easy being green... ^____^

I was just completely shunned by a lone Mormon.

Good thing he's headed off-campus today; it's rather hard to ignore a Maglite.

One of the camp counselors called last night and complained that we weren't sending female officers to do admits for the Mormon girls. Well, we kinda can't, when there are only two female patrol members out of 14 or so people able to let you in. So shut up.

I then got into a debate with Tom about whether this counselor would be more upset if he was sent to let them in, or I was. We figured it was pretty even until I suggested I hit on the girls as I was admitting them. I'm not a mean person, however, so will refrain from doing so without justifiable provocation.

Ugh.

Only halfway through the shift. I feel tired, sick, and headachey. I blame popcorn and flourescent lighting.

::EDIT::
Actually, I lied. I think it it's my meds that are making me sick.

Most of you have seen these already by now...

But for those who have not, I present to you my green hair:




Yay for color coordination.

Because we can can can!

I took a pic of me blonde that doesn't suck. But the green dye is soaking in as we speak, so it's kinda a useless thing now, anyway.



And here's one of me and the roomie, because I clearly just want to be like her.


As soon as the green is done I'll post pics.

^^;

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But whips and chains excite me.
So throw me down, tie me up,
And show me that you like me.

I am a moron.

Tonight I finally decided it's a good idea to password my photo directory. Sorry for those of you who liked convenient linkage.

Bubbler is now listed as KOS, just FYI.

*shakes head* I am never going to live down Bunny Wren.

Duck, Magnum! DUCK!

The hairstylist thinks I'm hysterical because I walked into the salon with purple hair, plan to dye it green, and yet hyperventilated when I saw myself blonde. Makes perfect sense to me; I'd rather be mistaken for a druggie slut than a rabid prep. Also, it's odd to see my skin have more color than my hair. I look...oddly tan. Alive, maybe? Is that COLOR in my cheeks? At least my eyes are still happy being green.

One simple color change has turned my carefully cultivated nerdslut look into some sort of sporty pseudo-prep hell. I plan on wearing a large sombrero until the green dye arrives on Thursday.

Ah hell. Without further ado, here thar be pictures.

As you can see, it's pretty brown at the roots, though the red and purple were still scarily obvious on the tips.


They put me in something called "a heavy foil." That doesn't mean a lot of foil. It's literally a fucking heavy foil. My neck hurts, and I was all floppy. (Ignore the pic qual. Cameraphone.)


It ended up being a very heavy foil, indeed. Topheavy.
"Look, I'm a metronome!" *wobble* "Ohfuck-!"


Maddo found the entire ordeal highly amusing.

And now, here's what you guys actually wanted to see, linked because I am still too traumatized to look in the mirror:
1) This is not me.
2) This is also not me.
3) This is a very sad me.

As soon as it's green, it will look amazing, but right now it's just...scary. You can see traces of red and purple left at the ends, and some strands of my hair were left unbleached. All of that is going to give the green amazing depth, so when it's out in the sun it will be even more awesome.

I'm going to go hide now.

Tomorrow I will be blonde.

The things I come across at work

This is not an interview--it's a catfight.

Assimilation

One of the side effects of working with the same person all the time is gaining the ability to communicate silently. We'll go through buildings together, and always know where the other person is going to check, so we get it done in half the time with no conversation--about what we're doing, at least.

And patrolling about campus? Practically predatory. When one of us pauses, the other will notice immediately and start looking for the disturbance. We listen for sounds, pick up on smells, track them down, and then enter in a formation that best suits the situation. It's pack behavior, and it's a little unsettling.

Then again, it does help us track down free brownies a lot. Which reminds me. The new 7-Up is really good.

I sleep now, but if you want to read about some suckage on the job, clicky.

Dear World: Fuck you and your sense of timing

You were right if you sensed coldness and a little bit of anger in response to the text message you sent me tonight. Some of it is from having an exam tomorrow, being tired from work tonight, etc. But most of it is, in fact, what it seems.

Fuck you. You haven't spoken to me since the middle of my Winter Break, after you knew for a fact I was angry at you. But you didn't care. And I understand that. You've never really given a fuck about anything, have you?

You texted me at 2:30. I'll bet you were drunk. This isn't you swallowing your pride and making amends; this is you pretending that nothing happened and assuming that I will do the same. And I say screw that. I know exactly what you're doing. You're bored, and you want to toy with me some more.

I am not a man, and I'm not your little bitch. So when you call me tomorrow, you had better fucking prove me wrong about you. I am not letting you do this to me anymore.

Gah. I was so sure I'd never talk to you again, too. I'm still not sure how I feel about it either way. Except for the deep sense of anger that is going to keep me awake tonight.

Serendipity

I have an exam and two labs tomorrow and have to work until midnight. So of course, dispatcher goes home with a migraine and leaves me the last four hours of my shift to sit at a desk and study. I'm sad that she has to deal with a migraine, but happy it worked out the way it did.

Now if only my nose would stop bleeding. I've already changed the bathroom trash and disenfected the bathroom once. - -;

Cobwebs

This is the only job I've ever had where there has been a need or a means to run and hide from one's bosses for three hours. This is also the only job that has caused me to gain a face full of cobwebs more than once a shift. Or that has given me a reason to climb to the top of a steeple and crawl around in a basement tunnel in the same hour (oh signing walls, I WILL FIND YOU.)

I offered to loan Partnerman a copy of Katamari Damacy, which caused him to invite me to his housewarming party on the 24th. I won't know anyone there, but I feel like I should go. If I don't, I'm worried he'll think I don't like him. And who knows; he and his friends are more mature than most of the drinkers I know, so it may be tolerable. He told me to just call ahead and see what's going on before I decide.

And now, two short letters:

1) Dear high school kids on bikes--
Yes, I understand that you're put out that we told you to get off campus, and then beat you to the parking lot where you thought you were going to keep doing your clown tricks unhounded. Doesn't it sting when you find out you're one of the predictable masses? But no, I will not "suck your sack;" judging by how fast you're biking away while yelling those obscenities at me, I doubt they've dropped yet anyway.

No love,
Security chick who could take you both

2) Dear cheerleaders--

NO.

No love,
Security chick who is sick of you forgetting your damned keys

Last Night: A Study in Madness

I've decided that the problem with Maddo, Sarah, and me hanging out with each other only once a week is that instead of our normal level of daily insanity, we feel we must CRAM AN ENTIRE WEEK'S WORTH into one night.

Thus, I present to you a textual smattering of what we brought down upon Olympia last night.

DRIVING:

Sarah: "Okay, turn up there."
Me: "Up where?"
Sarah: "There!"
Me: "...Which direction...?"
Sarah: "That way!"
Me: "SARAH!"
Sarah: "Left! Left!"
Maddo: XD

Maddo: "The turnabouts are coming up."
Me: "I love turnabouts."
Sarah: "Really?"
Me: "Yes, they're very efficient. So I go all the way through this one?"
Sarah: "Yes."
Maddo: "Wren, you were supposed to go right there."
Me: "I was going all the way through!"
Sarah: "It's fine. This is why it's a turnabout. Just get it on the next go round."
Me: "Correction: Efficient when Sarah is not the one giving directions."

AT DINNER:
I think I overdid the nerdslut look, because Sarah swears up and down the waiter (henceforth known as the Wall Gremlin) was giving me the eyes. Maddo thinks it was my rather bad timing in conversations:

Me: "Maddo, next time that happens, grab a lot of lotion, and give your legs a massa...
Wall Gremlin: "Can I get you another soda?"
Sarah and Maddo: *snerk*
Me: >.<

I'll leave the decision up to you. Tie+glasses, or bad timing?

And then some stuff that simply cannot be explained:

1) Sarah: "What the hell is that?"
Me: "...a lemon..."
Maddo: "Buttlemon."
Sarah: "Actually, it looks like a nipple."
Me: 9.9 *tosses it on her plate*
Sarah: "EW! I WAS GOING TO EAT THAT!"
Me: *Puts it on appetizer plate*
Sarah: *shoves it into the marinara dish*
Maddo: *covers in foccacia squares*
Me: "Oh my GOD."
Wall Gremlin: "...Ladies, can I get that plate out of your way?"

2) Maddo: *spits water all over table, chokes.*

AFTER X3: A story in three parts!

1) What I heard:
Me: "If I were a mutant, my superpower would totally be spontaneously generating ties."
Sarah: "From where?"
Me: "From my NECK, of course!"
Both: *Hysterical laughter*

2) What Sarah heard:
Me: "If I were a mutant, my superpower would totally be spontaneously generating pies."
Sarah: "... ...from where?"
Me: "From my NECK, of course!"
Both: *Confused laughter*

3) What Maddo (and her father) heard:
Both: *BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAFLOPFALLGASPSQUEAK*
Father (on phone): "What is that noise?"
Maddo: "Wren and Sarah."
Father: "What are they doing?"
Maddo: "What are they doing? Laughing. Loudly."
Me: "Oh God, he thinks I'm such a freak."
Father: "They are such freaks!"

Squeak.

I brought Squeaker in to take notes in class today, and ended up bonding with three other girls over tiny laptops. Then, the absolutely gorgeous girl who has the nerdslut look down even better than me (it's because she's tall) started showing pics of her chinchilla, so I brought out my rat pics.

Then we all went to the zoo for our last lab and had a fun time running around and looking at the animals. I bought a stuffed octopus and spent far too much time in the touch pools.

After that I realized it was far too pretty of a day to just go back home, so I went to the beach. Those quizzes that ask if you prefer mountains or beaches have it all wrong. I prefer both. >> Saw a sun star and a kelp crab and went wading for a little bit, then took a brisk walk along the sand with the vague idea that it would help my knee (fine-tune balancing responses). On the walk back I cut up a small cliff to take the path back to my car and ended up getting within five feet of a year-old male deer. Finally, I spent some time sitting on the cliff at the end of Point Defiance looking over the water at the Narrows Bridge.

It's been a nice day so far. I think I'm going to go running and then try to do some homework outside on the green by Wyatt.

When I'm back from running I'll post some of the crazy antics that went on last night between Maddo, Sarah, and me. X3 was pretty terrible, but watching it with open captioning made it a lot better.

Of course.

So my iPod is broken. It staged a coup on Squeaker last night out of jealousy and since then has refused to allow any computer to connect to it. So it plays just fine on its own, it is just no longer updateable.

Peachy.

The nearest Apple store is in Seattle. I'm about to call them and see if they think it's even worth the trouble. I can afford a new one, I'd just rather not buy one until Chew Toy has officially bitten the dust.

::EDIT AFTER SPEAKING TO INDIAN BRITISH MAN::
$250 to service it, eh? No, I'll pass on the contract. Thanks.

@.@

I present in a couple of minutes and I am SO HUNGRY... >.<;; I'm going to have to talk over my rumbling tummy to get through this.

At least I get to go eat yummy Italian food tonight.

*stabs the world*

I've been having terrible nightmares for the past week. Every single night, for the entire night. And they're not scary enough to force me awake so I'd have some respite. Nope, they just keep going. And I have no idea what's wrong.

I remember the last two most vividly. Night before last I dreamed something took over the world one night, and I was being chased down by this huge thing that was supposed to kill me. And there was a part where I tried to get back into my house after it had been abandoned for a year. Let's just say that didn't end well because of my new neighbors. The entire damn dream was set out in the middle of nowhere.

And then tonight? Spiders. Tons of tiny spiders crawling all over me, and all I could do was sob uncontrollably. And something about an angry ghost who kept trying to kill Daryl. So I finally wake up from that, check my e-mail...

The dumbass ex has gotten ahold of me again. He doesn't seem to be very good at that "not talking to you" thing. "Hi, I'm having a good summer, hope you are too, thinking of you."

That's just food to make my nightmares worse. You bastard. Can we have less of the psychostalkers following me, please?

Talk about a switch.

This is why I should not be allowed to get less than four hours of sleep before going online

TehBaorn: there was some crappy sci-fi movie on last night, where a black hole was going to engulf all of Missouri.
TehBaorn: I thought, "Should I really care?"
Prince Abubu: *laughs hysterically*
Prince Abubu: Things MO has to worry about: Gays, Black Holes, Earthquakes, Severe Storms
TehBaorn: XD
TehBaorn: XDXDXDXD
Prince Abubu: Things WA has to worry about: Missouri, Earthquakes, Volcanoes, Tsunami.
TehBaorn: XD
Prince Abubu: and yet I prefer WA
TehBaorn: no black holes!
TehBaorn: clearly an advantage!
TehBaorn: earthquake, volcano, tsunami, that doesn't ruin everything.
TehBaorn: it ruins most everything. but something might survive!
TehBaorn: black hole? you're just screwed.
Prince Abubu: No. The gays would save them.
TehBaorn: from the black hole?
Prince Abubu: yeah. it's one of the perks of homosexuality
TehBaorn: o.o
TehBaorn: so you're telling me...
Prince Abubu: That all gay people should be space cadets.
TehBaorn: if I preferred my sexual partners to have a penis...I'm immune to gravity.
Prince Abubu: Yes. >>
TehBaorn: *explodes*
Prince Abubu: black holes are just a devious aspect of the Homosexual Agenda, you know.
TehBaorn: *explodes AGAIN*
Prince Abubu: ^^;
TehBaorn: oh wait.
TehBaorn: maybe that's it.
TehBaorn: black holes? too much fabulous.
Prince Abubu: there cannot BE too much fabulous. Hence the black hole. SPACE-TIME CONTRADICTION
TehBaorn: XD
TehBaorn: XDXDXDXD
Prince Abubu: >>

Work today was soggy and full of Methodists.

DEAR UPS:

How can my computer and its contents weigh 18lbs? Where did the extra 14lbs come from? What did you pack it in, brick?

Sarah, let's go swimming!

But first, let's raid the chemistry storeroom.

I HAVE NO PATIENCE.

::EDIT FOUR HOURS LATER::
Well, the picture worked. My computer is in transit.

And you say I'm needlessly violent, Mike.

::EDIT 7 HOURS LATER::
Holy crap. Tracking number says it's scheduled to be delivered tomorrow. COULD IT BE? O.O

Note to self: post threatening pics more often!

oh! I forgot!

Three more things from work.

1) The Science Dept finally got two new cadavers. Our old ones were like...30 years old, and getting kind of ghetto. Well, the new ones were delivered to the Animal Phys lab during swing shift, so when we come in, Geniusman informs me of their arrival and says the following:

"I want to go see them, but I didn't have any time."

To which Bossman Sulk responds huffily:

"SHOW SOME RESPECT FOR THE DEAD."

...Dude. They donated their bodies to SCIENCE. Classes of 30 people take them apart and see what made them tick (or stop ticking) at least once a semester. Something tells me it's a lost cause.

2) Bossman Extreme had a run-in with the psycho janitor lady from the student center a few minutes before my shift began. She came in to ask about an outside door in the SUB that was held open, and he told her there was no reason for it to be like that.
"Alright. I'll let you guys close it during your rounds."
"If you're headed back that way, you could do it too."

Not rude at all. He didn't order her to close the door, he just suggested that if she were going to be in the building she could take the damn thing off the doorstop. Well, she freaks out, because apparently he just accused her of being the one to leave it open, and storms off in a huff. Bossman Extreme is a little confused, but goes back on his merry way.

THEN! Over the Facilities radio we hear her talking to someone about "that asshole who cruises around in the pickup." Yep. She's talking about Bossman Extreme. Over a walkie-talkie. We think she accidentally hit the button while talking to someone else, because it was broadcast kind of faintly. But needless to say, her boss wasn't too happy about what was just said. So he calls them both to have a meeting in the student center to try to figure out what the hell is going on. They meet right in front of the camera, so we pulled up the video feed and watched it later. The blonde lady was screaming, flailing around like a tweaker, and kept storming off repeatedly. After ten minutes, the meeting breaks up, Bossman Extreme begins to walk off-camera, and she comes FLYING at him. We don't know what happened after that.

The janitor ended up quitting. Over a propped door. Granted, her boss said she kept getting into fights with the other female staff, so she probably had other reasons, but still. It's a DOOR. She's a JANITOR, so I highly doubt shutting doors is the least savory aspect of her job.

So Bossman Extreme wrote an e-mail to Big Boss explaining the situation in an attempt to pre-empt the inevitable complaint against him. We'll see how it turns out.

3) It was a bad day for Bossman Extreme on all fronts, really. He was up all day with his kids, so was EXHAUSTED at work last night, and they had training that day, so he couldn't go to sleep after work. He ended up falling asleep in the truck around 4AM, and we couldn't get ahold of him over the radio for the next hour. Finally, it was 5:15, and he had to leave at 6 and had yet to do any unlocks, so I ran over to where he was on the other side of campus and started banging on the driver's side window. It took me two minutes to get him woken up. He looked really embarassed when he saw me, too.

We have two Bossmans who pull stuff like that on a regular basis, but when he does it, we know something's up.

It's 4AM, and I am giggling hysterically

::EDIT AFTER WORK::
Dude, something crawled up Big Boss's ass and died today. Evidence suggests it was his own head.

Big Boss: "Where's Bossman Extreme?"
Partnerman: "He's napping before the training session."
Big Boss: "I asked where he was, not what he was doing."
Partnerman: "He's on campus..."
Big Boss: "He didn't tell you where?"
Partnerman: "He told Bossman Kind. I can find out for you if you want."
Big Boss: "That won't be necessary."
Me: *fetal position*

5 minutes later...

Big Boss: "Partnerman, what's going on here today?"
Partnerman: "What's going on where?"
Big Boss: "I don't need you to be a smartass; just answer the question!"

In summary:
Me, Bossman T, Bossman STL, and Bossman Kind: "..."
Partnerman: O.o ?
Big Boss: @.@ ragharrrghblaghpppbt!

Dear Dell:

Please give me a reasonable explanation for why it takes more than two days to put a computer in a box. I NEED TO KNOW.

A most wonderful sense of freedom

I went into the doctor today, and he gave me the go-ahead to stop physical therapy. He did, however, warn me that if I do not keep exercising regularly and doing strength training for my inner quad and hips I will relapse.

He also told me I NEED to start running again, so for those of you who are worried I'll make things worse...HA. (Yes, I am mature.)

That's the problem with running. Once you start, you can't really stop.

I'm headed off to the gym to work out before I sleep again.

I hate networking so fucking much.

That is what supposedly provides internet to every room in this house.



At least one of those random wires is currently plugged into the wrong spot. If I were living in this house for any length of time, I would fix it and make everything work properly. Instead, I disconnected the damn thing from the modem, set up my wireless router, got help tripling its range, and then made it to where I am the only computer that can use it. So I am effectively the only person in the house with internet, which is fine, since no one else has paid me what they owe me.

That poor router reminds me of Key.

::EDIT::
Now with 100% more nipples.

::EDIT::
Now with 100% less incorrectly drawn right breast.
A male drew that art, I just know it.

Dell status page + refresh = @.@

My computer has been built and tested. Now I'm just waiting for it to be boxed and sent to me. If that takes two weeks, someone at Dell is losing something precious. I'm looking at you, boxing-supervisor man.

::EDIT::
So I miss 3/4 of the course material due to sickness, have limited time to study due to work and brain just saying NO, and I still get above the class average with a 71%.

YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF FUCKING SLACKERS.

This is apparently a DRAMABOMB waiting to happen.

I posted about some of the more idiotic guys I've dealt with on the job on Customers_Suck, and have gotten some interesting replies.

Me being angry that guys are calling me "honey" and asking if I'll be okay isn't because I don't appreciate being undermined when I'm on the job, oh no: It's because I'm a feminist.

And guys aren't doing crap like that because they're assholes; It's a basic biological instinct.

But if guys do it to women mechanics or women computer specialists, it's chavanism.

I work in a place where I NEED to be taken seriously in order to do my job. It has nothing to do with sexism. It's simply a fact.

So in short, LJ? Fuck you.

Luck

Dell just came out with a line of new dual-core laptops, which effectively made the one I want obsolete. Why is this a good thing? Well, I don't want a dual-core laptop. That sounds like great tech for a desktop, especially considering how hard I tend to run my computers, but for what I want this laptop for, that kind of stuff is absolutely fucking unnecessary. This laptop is for notes and internet and writing papers in the library (and maybe even movies on planes), not for games.

Thus, I just ordered my laptop, which initially was going to cost me about $1,400, for the low price of $830. That's 100GB hard drive, 1GB RAM, 12" widescreen, Pentium M, and all that jazz crammed into a computer slighly larger than a sheet of printer paper and about an inch thick. It weighs less than five pounds and has about seven hours of battery life. This makes it the perfect notebook. And, since it's a shiny electronic, I will NEVER LOSE IT. I leave textbooks and notebooks around incessantly. I did badly on my Cell Bio exam for that very reason. But this? This is something shiny. I guard my electronics like some sort of bizarre technology-hoarding dragon. I'll ALWAYS know where it is.

I have already picked out desktop wallpapers and an XP theme skin for it. Currently, I plan to name it "Squeaker."

That estimated ship date had better be a dirty lie. Is all I'm gonna say. >>

::EDIT AFTER WASTED TIME::
I present to you some screenshots of what I have decided Squeaker should look like.





The iTunes skin is still pending on judgement. It's between that and a pale blue one that matches the bunny.

Also, the screenname for my laptop is going to be "AllFoofyLove," (long story) so replace the name with that and change the icon to the wallpaper bunny on the Tril contact list. Delete the moon, as well. I didn't want to fuck with my widgets too much since I had to get Papoose back to the way it normally looks (read: lots of black).

::2ND EDIT::
Found a page that has the info you all are looking for. Sorry the piccy isn't bigger, but they've taken down all the fun high-tech stuff since it's on outlet now. I got the 8-cell lithium ion battery, in case you were wondering about just how awesome my battery life was going to be (that means it will stick out a bit from the back, but I don't mind, because it's still only this big). I also got a spare AC adapter because I've had too many problems with them in the past to not.

MADNESS!

I decided that instead of making a long, wordy blog post about the Seattle trip, I would make a long, musical slideshow. Unfortunately, I didn't get it done before work, so look for this monstrosity to be posted in the wee hours of the morning.

When I should be sleeping in preparation for my exam.

^^;

::EDIT AFTER SLEEP::
Got it done last night, but was too tired to wait for it to upload. The .wmv is INCREDIBLY better quality than the .mov, so I would recommend watching it if at all possible. The .mov catches on transitions and keeps the photos out of focus at first. I'll probably try to tweak it and upload a better one later.

The $1K Weekend.wmv

The $1K Weekend.mov

Enjoy.

Conundrum

Q. Eating the food of housemates that no longer live here makes me:

a) A terribly presumptuous person.
b) An opportunist who doesn't want stuff to go to waste.
c) Some dire combination of the two.

It's scary, tho. The downstairs freezer has a ton of Hot Pockets...and a whole turkey. Explain that to me if you can.

A quick note before bed

Coming home, it hits me that adulthood is slowly sneaking up on me. Here I am, driving to a house I'm paying to live in, from a job I took to pay my bills. Yes, all two of them, and I don't own the car I'm driving. But it's a start. Grown-up life is creeping in, man.

Then I get home and encounter this in my photos of the weekend:


Yes, adulthood. Come and get me. I fucking DARE you.

I love my job

A few things I've been meaning to blog about that happened during this set of shifts.

Me: *grabs bottle of ramune, heads for front room*
Me: *sets on counter*
Bossman Prime: "What is that?"
Me: "Ramune!" *depresses opener*
Ramune: *Fizz!*
Bossman Prime: "What just happened?"

It was the way he said it. Totally flat, normal, conversational tone.

My partner has a penchant for hurling doorstops that don't belong into random bushes. Tonight we found another one in the music building:

Me: "Oh look, that one's labeled Judy."
Partnerman: "Well, good. Now it's going to be labeled "Judy" in the woods somewhere."
Judy: *careens through air into a rhododendron*
Me: "Bye Judy."

Then there's even more proof that when I am in uniform, idiot men simply feel they MUST hit on me:

Me: *doing admit for asbestos removal people*
Testosteroni: *sleazy* "Heh, had to use that flashlight on anyone today?"
Me: *Wrenglare* "Not yet."
Testosteroni: "Whoa, okay, I'll stay in line."
Me: *walks off, muttering* "Asshole."
Partnerman: "You know, my last coworker never had that problem."
Me: "I have a vibe."

Also, my bosses seemed to have a very different idea of what my 6/6/06 should be like. After I accidentally set off an alarm during one of my lock-ups, Bossman Prime realized that I'd had far too little alarm training. So he shipped me back to base, sat me down at the computers, and proceeded to make every other employee currently working set off every fire, burglar, and elevator alarm possible to see if he could fluster me. People were RUNNING through halls pulling doors as they went.

Yes. The last 45 minutes of my shift were spent simultaneously writing notes, responding to and resetting alarms on the computer, responding to phone alarms, and keeping a constant radio contact going with my coworkers.

At the end of it? "Excellent job, Wren. Especially on the last one. You did everything exactly right."

Good. Now stop pretending to be dead, please.

And now I pass out. No classes tomorrow, so I can sleep in for a while before it's time to study hardcore for my next Oceanography exam.

One final note: The skeleton of the new blog is up for your viewing pleasure. I was in an odd mood when I made it.

Work Work Work

Have an exam on Friday in Oceanography that I've been spending most of my free time studying for. At least I don't have to work this weekend.

Dinner tonight? Tuna rice ball, miso soup, a drink that seems to be made from aloe vera, mango sorbet, and probably some of the garlic bread I left there from last night's dinner.

Rice balls are so much frigging fun to make. I need to remember to pick up some nori, tho, so I can use some of it, too.

My goal for 06/06/06 is to scribble my name as many signing walls as I can at work. And then sleep.

Cover down, boys.

I've had a couple of requests to make easy (read: bachelor-able) and yummy recipe guides with extensive directions and tips for those of my male friends who are finally getting sick of ramen and Cap'n Crunch.

So, in the next couple of days, look out. I might make a new blog, or just link pages here. Depends on how bored I get.

Also, pics of weekend will be up ASAP. Currently trying to get caught up in Oceanography, so I want to get that done before I dive on in to the massive blog post of doom that this weekend will require.

Gossiping hens!

Unc is pissing me off. We've been here for two days and seen him for less than five minutes. He canceled all the plans we had made today, and then got angry that I was upst about it. Yay sailing. - -;

Also, apparently there are still a lot of Missouri people who still read my blog. This bothers me for two reasons:
1) None of them have spoken to me in over a year. So why do they even care? (Besides gossip, of course, which is how I found out about this in the first place.)
2) I changed my blog address to keep a stalker away. The fact that they found this anyway make me wonder about the effectiveness of the change...
3) "Fuck off already." -Maddo

Needless to say, I'm in a pretty bad mood, and this damned keyboard isn't really helping. (*snerk*-Maddo) So I'm going to curl my hair in a ridiculous fashion, use my new honey and lotion, and vindictively order the bellpeople to find my high heels. Yep, they're in the car. Go fetch.

Best Thai food in Seattle, you say? Courtesy of my uncle, even? Oh, ESPECIALLY.

Jolly good.

West-in? Wha? West-out. I sense a clever ghetto joke here, but I can't quite place it.

Yay for TV internet. Yay also for the Maddo sitting to my left and correcting my typing as I go. Actually, I stand corrected: she's "horizontal."

We're all three currently in the throes of a love-hate relationship with this hotel. On the one hand, the 43rd floor bay windows offer a lovely view of downtown Seattle + Space Needle + Lake Union and/or Washington. There's a pretty excellent room service menu, warm and heavy bathrobes, comfy, if overwhelming beds, and a dual-head showerhead in the bathroom.

However: In the first ten minutes we were in the hotel, I had to call the "service desk" twice, once for a lost bag, and then because they decided not to actually make our beds before we arrived. The shower, though lovely indeed, likes to "whistle as it works," deluging the ears of everyone in the hotel room with a dog-whistle-esque whine of pure rage and rebellion. Now that I think of it, the TV was doing the same thing last night, though that might be because it was reluctant to play the entirety of The New World. In retrospect, I don't really blame it, and if I were actually PAYING for any of this I would demand my money back from the concierge, possibly at knifepoint whie wearing a lovely bathrobe like a cape.
Actually, switch knife for "ice tongs". I like that mental image better.

Today we've been invited to watch the Uncle's race from the VIP boat, but we've decided we rather like the idea of skipping that (on pretense of the water air aggravating my symptoms) to go play aound in downtown Seattle all day. We're in a conveniently situated area for everything except Uwajimaya, which we'll probably make time for tomorrow on our way back into Tacoma.

There's also an "afterparty," but as I just told Sarah and Maddo, it will likely be full of post midlife-crisis, bored, rich thirtysomethings. And a LOT of booze. We are torn.

I'm being ordered to stop blogging and get dressed. I'm hungry, so I'm going to oblige. Sarah has been taking a lot of pics, so once we get back in town there will be another photoessay for everyone's (?) enjoyment.

I thought this crap had gone the way of Scarlet Fever

Apparently I have tonsillitis. We don't know yet if it's bacterial or viral (though my strep test was negative), so there's no knowing for the next two days if the antibiotics will help. In the meantime, I'm on lots of ibuprofen for the swelling, and also have the joy of gargling lidocaine+Wilcox. More proof that chocolate milk cures everything, I suppose.

Also, my uncle is in town over the weekend. Fam told him how sick I am, so he's planning on calling and "checking up on me." I am not allowed to let on that I am finally aware of the depths of asshattery he has fallen to. So now it's a dilemma: bite my tongue and get new toys, or refuse to answer the phone and give my nerves a rest.

More proof that God hates me

I can't imagine what else could go wrong today. But I'm not going to try very hard in case it decides to prove me wrong. I don't know what I did to piss off my Higher Power, but MAN. I must have. Making it through this day is going to cause some serious Karmic burn-off.

So I got home sick last night, call Fam, and agree that I need to go to a doctor. Before I pass out, I get ahold of Matt and get info for the Urgent Care clinic he went to when he had a really bad ear infection. Today I wake up and get ready to head into the doctor...

...and my car dies. Cue tears.

So then I call my aunt and she convinces me to call CHWS on the off-chance that they are open in the summer. Well, they are, I find out- but only for counseling appointments. That has to be one of the most fucking useless things I have ever heard.

They were kind enough, however, to offer me a link to the least helpful pamphlet in the world. Well, except for the Urgent Care clinic, which I find out is only 1.8 miles away, and is open to walk-ins from 9AM to 9PM. Too bad my fucking CAR is dead.

So I call a taxi service. Now let me explain something here: I have a taxi phobia. I hate calling for them, I hate riding in them, I hate driving by them. It's ridiculous, I know. But at this point, I figure I have no other choice, because I have not been this sick in a long, long time.

Taxi guy apparently doesn't understand the concept of a "Wheelock Student Center at 15th and Alder." It's the most common pick-up point on the frigging campus, but "he needs an address." At this point I am incredibly stressed out, start crying, and hang up on him. I've never had that problem before; any transit company understands where the Student Center is, because not knowing is very bad for business. Maybe he was new, but I dunno. Just my luck.

So I finally break down and call Sarah's cell phone a couple of times. She doesn't answer, so I get on Google and look up what I hope is her home phone. I get her dad, he says she's at work, and gives me her number, and I call her and break down sobbing hysterically over the phone.

Now she's trying to get ahold of her family so she can take off work, drive up here, and save my life.

I have the best roommate ever. I cannot BELIEVE how awesome she is. I've spent the entire morning feeling scared and alone, and the fact that she's willing to drive from Olympia to help me out is like...overwhelming awesomeness.

Misery

Everything hurts. At work, and just spent last ten minutes dry heaving in the bathroom. I can't imagine how my throat will feel if I actually throw up. Both ears ache terribly, my entire neck is tender, and I have a light-sensitivity headache.

I've been told it's okay for me to go home if I need to, but if I do, that will basically screw over the rest of the shift.

I'm gonna try to stick out at least 30 more minutes.