Dear Prostitot Cheerleaders:

1) Put some goddamn pants on. I don't need to see your ass, Ms. Hot Pants. You are 12. Girl in thong who got locked out of her room, you are 16, and only SLIGHTY more forgiven.

2) It is not funny to go "hee hee! Wren's back! Haven't you been here, like, three times already?"
"...yes." STOP LEAVING WITHOUT YOUR KEYS.

3) After I open your door, don't stare at it and go "How do I unlock this big boy?" Do keys not EXIST in your orbit?

4) To the six girls who got locked out of their rooms at once after showering. The proper response to seeing me is:
a) To shout "yay, the keys are here!" and run screaming at me to give me a soggy loliphile group hug.
b) To not do the above.

I'll give you a hint. It's not a). I am not "the keys", and the idea of having you all pawing at me in joy makes me wish I were a turtle so I could just drop and HIDE IN AN IMPENETRABLE SHELL. Other people, however, seem to find it amusing:

Prince Abubu: I had six soaking wet cheerleaders try to give me a group hug when I unlocked their rooms last night.
John: ohh man
Prince Abubu: I almost killed them
John: I am just trying to see that
John: wow that is really funny
Prince Abubu: It was me screaming 'no, no! Ladies, we do NOT touch the security guard!"
John: ha ha ha, ohh man
John: that is good
John: that improved my mood greatly
Prince Abubu: well, I'm glad someone benefitted from my pain. XP*