More Poetry Wars

I walked into work today to find the following poem from Feeney sitting in my box:

91 to 90,
Why do you hate me so,
All I give you is love and care,
Yet you always rebuke me with scowl and glare.
Maybe this extreme agression is what causes your odd twitch
Or perhaps its why you threaten to leave me dead in a ditch.
You feed off others' pain and misery like it's a drug,
I think perhaps you could benefit from a nice hug.
We work for eight hours in this boring old cage,
84 and yourself form this aura of unspeakable rage.
As we both graduate and fade off into obscurity,
You'll look back and be glad we worked together on Security.

Now, I know for a fact that he hates haiku (naturally, I would know this.) So I decided to reply using several.

Nine-oh to nine-one.
Love is silent and golden.
Show you care. Shut up.

Time crawls to a halt.
Your voice echoes in the void.
Its sound cripples time.

My day really sucked.
I locked my keys in my car.
Your poem sucked more.

My mother is dead.
Grieving requires a heart.
Feeling awkward yet?

Perhaps this will get the point across.