Dear left foot:

If you are angry at me, there are ways of going about it. Randomly losing an entire toenail and portions of two others is not what I would call either mature or subtle. I know you're pissed that you always feel like your toes are curled. Trust me, I am too.

But it is not my fault.

Also, your ploy didn't work. My foot may look kinda nasty, but I didn't feel a thing.

No love,
Wren's brain, which has quite enough on its mind already, thanks