This is a great day for Wrenkind

I just caused time to split today. I was in the science cafe, innocently studying for my Lab Exam, when I felt it happen.

There is a kid in Marine Interactions who likes my hair. It is all we have ever spoken about, and I have caught him staring at it during lecture when he is especially bored. Today he snuck up behind me while I was elbows deep in algal terminology, grabbed my shoulders, and vigorously ran his fingers over my hair in a sort of "d'awwww, hey there little buddy!" gesture. He has big hands. His damn hand engulfed my scalp and left my hair quite disheveled.

In that instant, I saw two things happen simultaneously. First, I saw myself grab him by the arm, pull him down over my shoulder, and slam my elbow into his kidneys before depositing him on the floor. At the same time, I saw myself calmly turn around and stare at him in mild confusion.

The Wren writing this did option two, but I swear that somewhere out there he was left in a battered heap on the cafe floor.