A note on debate technique:

When trying to make yourself not seem like a total bitch, "Why does the kitchen look like a tornado's gone through it?" is not even remotely similar to a nicely intended "Why didn't you do it?"

The first will only get the door slammed on you, especially if that was the second sentence out of your mouth upon returning home in two days.

The second just might get you the actual explanation.

Oh, and don't EVEN fucking ask me if I want to have warm-fuzzy pseudo-housewife-cooky-with-the-mother-figure-time after all of this. And if you ever compare me to your four-year-old daughter again I'm going to hide her paci and melt all her bottles and THEN what will you do to shut her up?