the worst day

Now I'm on Allegra. I think it's working. We shall see.
:: Glo Paint 6:47 AM ::


...
This was supposed to be a good day. I was allowed to sleep in because I had no homework to do, we were making pizza in first hour, I didn't have weight training, I got to make a coat of arms... SLAM and I were gonna hang out after school, maybe get his tux for prom... and I was even on medication.

Well, I wasn't allowed to drive to school, we didn't get to EAT the pizza, it was hot so I got all sweaty ANYWAY. The medication didn't help that much- I was all hack-couch-hack-die all day despite it. The park was nice, but Fam called and griped at me about having a communication problem (out of the frickin BLUE)... and SLAM called too. His work called him in, and he couldn't do anything with me tonite. So that ruined THAT happy moment...


Then I get home and Fam and Unc both bitch-bitch-bitch at me. When I get sick of it, I start to cry, and then they just treat me like some troubled, moody teenager. Then they act like nothing is wrong. So my little breakdown didn't solve a damn thing.


(Why does it always have to be my fault? Can't they be wrong just once? Damn it... It's not all me. If Fam would bother to start acting like she likes me, I would quit retaliating and acting like I hate her. I've tried to change the way I act. I did it for two weeks. She flat out told me I was being worse than usual, even though I was hanging out with her, swallowing my pride every time she had a gripe, doing what she wanted WHEN she wanted... and she didn't notice any difference.

I have news for you, guys. Fam, you know how you always bitch to me and Unc "Does it always have to be your way?" Fam, whose way is it supposed to be? Yours? God, you're like MiniFam. Learn to share, woman. Unc, grow a backbone and start sticking up for who's right, not for the one who will make your life less miserable if you support her. And next time you wanna punish me, pick a REASON, damnit! Don't bitch at me about something I wasn't even doing. )


So then I shut myself in my room. I needed to clean it, anyway. Then Fam quietly asks if I want to go to FCF and get ice cream. SLAM was working, so I decided I'd try to see him. Cuz he's pissed and stressed, and I was hoping I'd get a chance to make him feel better- somehow. Even though I didn't want to breathe the same air as my semi-parental units, I went so I could see him.


Well, even that didn't work out. We made eye contact maybe twice. He looked so unhappy, and I felt so bad for him. When I was sitting down, he gave our orders to Fam, Unc, and MiniFam, but when I went up to get mine, he had been called off, so I didn't even get to say hi. Or ask him if he was ok.


So now I have to go clean the fucking kitchen and spend another day in this personal hell that never seems to completely go away. I entered it when I was 12, and haven't managed to find a way out yet.
:: Glo Paint 9:03 PM ::