Ugh.

Plan: Spend day face-deep in computer. Fix boot issue.

1) Started with the BIOS.
That, uh....actually seemed to have worked. If not, it's time to fuck about with the RAM.

Screw you, Maker's Mark.

Oh God.

We've really spruced the office up.

EEEEEEE.

Shameless Self Promotion

And on my own personal blog, no less. Go figure.

As my book (I feel weird calling it that) has gotten longer, and people have given me more and more amazing feedback, I've been giving more and more thought to protecting my story.

Maddo being totally paranoid helps.

Today I had one of my epiphanies and made a private, invitation-only blog to host the chapters at. This way they can stay together in an easily-viewable format, and if it gets stolen I have a short list of people to torment and murder by fire.

Also, now I can put the glossary up without making everything all confusing!




In short, now is your chance to get on the list if you ever have any interest in reading. Those of you who I know read it have been sent an e-mail, but if you've not gotten one, leave your e-mail here or IM it to me and I will give you sign-in directions. Hell, I'd sign up just to see how damn awesome the layout is. That's the best layout I've done in six years of blogging.

Testimonials from those who read it and like it are also welcome so people know I'm not completely off my rocker. Just sayin.

Ugh.

One week later, and I feel almost normal, but I am not sure a single round of antibiotics is going to fix this.

Just proof I am not dead.

Yergh.

ER Saturday. Severe kidney infection, not allowed to move for next two days. Have done nothing but sleep. Am bored of sleeping.

A: Filter

I have this problem where I open my mouth and words come out. Is there anything that can fix that?

Decontextualized Words of Wisdom

"The caged squirrel cannot stash his nuts."
"Like he'd want to stash his nuts with you."
"Well, of course not! Do I LOOK like a knothole?"
"Do you really want me to answer that?"
"The answer is no. Obviously."

It's like...

Bahahahha.

Wednesday I was handed a stack of A papers with glowing comments written all over: "Terrific! Thoughtful! Honest! Clever!"

I huffed them. :D

In retrospect this is obvious.

Note to self: There is nothing wrong with buying lube, or deciding to hide how faded the couch cushions are. But when you buy lube with a slipcover, be prepared for odd looks.

Fine, Maddo. Here I go.

*sporfle*

Grave shifts are all about the productivity.

<--And I am a fucking GENIUS.

In which my new car tells Tim and his poorly-timed elitist comments to suck a fuck

I have a new car. Finally, after six weeks of wheel-lessness, I have a new car. It is a fully-loaded 2008 Toyota Yaris. Behold:

This car has fewer than seventy miles on it, a better sound system than I was expecting, and a ridiculous amount of room for a compact car. It gets 29-35MPG, which is comparable to my Saturn SL2. And I made them drive it to me same-day from three cities over.

My initial impressions:
1) Pretty.
2) OMG what if I get hit!
3) Ooo, what does this button do?
4) ...Brr.

Igny was a whiner. She'd do what I wanted her to if I coddled her and pushed her just the right way, but she made it clear she didn't like it. Compared to her, this new car (which is male), is positively feral. I push a pedal, and it actually responds. It likes to drive.

I'm bouncing a few names around for him, and I think I have a good idea, but I want to make sure before I make anything final.

Why do I do this to myself?

Want: Prius, at just under 25k. Blue. Hatchback.
Have: 5k for downpayment, job. Loan money.

---

Budget
Rent: 367.50 (Will be covered by Student Loan money
for next 12 months, along with credit card bills.)
Phone: 96.00
(70.00 supplied by Fam. So, if lose internet, $45.00. Phone is now free.)
Internet: 50.00
Utilities: ~40.00
Rats: ~30.00
TOTAL: ~120

Income
Work: ~800/mo (after taxes, not including money from Concert
Hall)
Unc: 300/mo for car payment.

This means I have about $680/mo unaccounted for, with plenty of wiggle room from second job. Factoring in food, that means I can still afford car insurance payments on my own. Am guaranteed to have job after grad school, so security isn't an issue.

Which means if I wanted, I could afford a Prius.

Fucking fuck.

::edit::
Of course, this is all hypothetical.

oooh!

Mt. Rainier volunteer seed collectors needed

Volunteers will be needed in August and September to help collect plant seeds at Mt. Rainier National Park. Due to the heavy snowpack, the flowering season is delayed, shortened and for some species maybe even nonexistent this year. The work will need to be done quickly to collect as many seeds as possible before the snow starts falling again, to help with resotration work in flood-damaged areas of the park. If you are interested in participating, contact Anine Smith at anine_smith@nps.gov.

---

That sounds like a ton of fun! :D (Maybe if I get my new car tomorrow I can...)

I am a scientist.

Math is good for you.

Let me tell you about the Fucked-to-Fine Quotient. FFQ is a complex representation of a number of factors that can help a person determine just how much he or she has to worry about an Other having designs* on them.

Social Situations
Q(Social)=Fucked/Fine

Fucked= number of times Other makes physical contact (knuckle taps count) + number of interested glances from Other + number of times conversation with Other makes other people awkward+ number of compliments + number of alcoholic drinks you've both had + how many times someone else asks "so, what do you think of Other?"

Fine= number of times Other makes physical contact with someone not you + number of glances that scan entire party + number of times Other makes conversation awkward on his/her own + number of compliments given to rest of party + number of people not you or Other at gathering

For example, my current FFQ(social) is:
(8 + 7 + 3 + 1 + 4 +2)/(1 + 3 + 0 + 0 + 5)
Q= 2.5

The greater the number from 1, the more fucked you are.

---

One-on-One
This one takes a bit more thought, and since it has fewer variables, is generally considered less accurate.

Q(solitary)= Fucked/Fine

Fucked= number of times Other brushes against you while sitting/walking and does NOT pull away (knuckle taps STILL count) + number of times Other compliments you + number of times Other remembers seemingly minute details of previous encounter + number of times Other suggests hanging out again

Fine=Number of times Other brushes against you while sitting/walking and DOES shift away + number of times Other mentions attractiveness of someone else + number of times Other suggests hanging out with general group of friends + number of hours willingly spent in one another's company

The greater the number from 1, the more fucked you are. (DRAFT 2: Allan pointed out that previously it would be possible to divide by zero.)

---

The handy new section of the sidebar will keep you updated on my current FFQ as the semester progresses.

*Designs: Any attraction that will lead to some sort of attachment (crush, desire for a date, drunken pawings). Generally unwanted, hence presence of attraction being labeled "fucked," but rarely it can be considered a good thing. Whether or not you consider yourself fucked is entirely interpretation.

::EDIT::
If he offers to buy you lunch/dinner, add five points to the FFQ.
If you go out to lunch/dinner and he ninjas the check, add ten.

It was like being head-butted by a baby Yeti.

Tom, Peter, and I are driving back in Peter's truck from dinner at The Ram. Tom is bitch. Peter turns a corner, and then keeps going on down a straight road. During turn, Tom smooshes into me and then stays there with his hair tickling my neck and the side of his face against my chest. I tolerate this for a moment, then:

Me: "Tom, hon, you're squishing me."
Tom: *jerks back into upright position* "Sorry! Centrifugal force."
Peter: "We need to call Stephen Hawking, Tom, because you clearly have your own source of gravity. This is a straight road."
Me: "Opportunistic gravity?"
Tom: -_-
Peter: XD
*Peter makes another turn, and Tom rams into me again vindictively.
Me: "...please don't squish my sandwich."
Tom: XD
Peter: "That's two excellent turns of phrase in under a minute!"