It was like being head-butted by a baby Yeti.

Tom, Peter, and I are driving back in Peter's truck from dinner at The Ram. Tom is bitch. Peter turns a corner, and then keeps going on down a straight road. During turn, Tom smooshes into me and then stays there with his hair tickling my neck and the side of his face against my chest. I tolerate this for a moment, then:

Me: "Tom, hon, you're squishing me."
Tom: *jerks back into upright position* "Sorry! Centrifugal force."
Peter: "We need to call Stephen Hawking, Tom, because you clearly have your own source of gravity. This is a straight road."
Me: "Opportunistic gravity?"
Tom: -_-
Peter: XD
*Peter makes another turn, and Tom rams into me again vindictively.
Me: "...please don't squish my sandwich."
Tom: XD
Peter: "That's two excellent turns of phrase in under a minute!"