My, my, my...

Don DUMBsfeld

Have two takers for the spaghetti squash. That now means I only have 12 of them instead of 15. But what am I going to do with the 5 crookneck (butternut, LMAO) squash??

Bless Batman, O World, for what she hath done my locker. And let me say for the record how impressed people have been with the centered-ness of the pictures. Well taken, m'dear. Well taken indeed. You have inspired me to keep my locker clean.

I'm going to go back to my CD making/ dance spree now.

::EDIT 5:41 PM::

more fun with Fam and the computer
fam: go make copies of these.
me: You do know we can do that here, right?
fam: with the scanner?
me: yep. It has a copy function.
fam: but doesn't that take up a lot of memory?
me: ::waiting::
fam: I don't know.
(me: you're right, you don't.)

later

me: You realize that even when my story was 300 pages it only took up 200-odd k, right? Documents take up almost no space.
fam: ::pissy::I know nothing about computers.
(me: Documents good. Small things. No hurty computer.)

I love the way she always takes it personally when something with the computer comes up. XD It makes life more fun.

And a small example of how the brain of a child works:
fam: "Let's go to Target"
MFam: "I want to see the toy section."
Fam: "We're not going to get anything."
MFam: "But I can just look!"
Fam: "Only if you just look."
MFam: "Maybe I'll find something I like."
Fam: "You weren't nice today, so you don't deserve a toy.

::pause::
MFam: "I'm nice now."
Fam: "Uh-huh. No toy. Let's go."
MFam: "I want a toy!"
Fam: "Would you like to tell me why you haven't felt like being nice recently.... ::out door::
Me: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...."


::FINAL EDIT::

Proud of self. Did peg H/W and plant H/W, so for Student Assistant tomorrow I'll only have two easy math problems to do. Then I can devote the rest of my hour to reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and taking notes. Serious notes. I'm gonna have to pay attention so I can get the most out of that book. So good. SOOO GOOOD.

plantsplantsplantsplants.

Very plant-ful day today. Batman offered me a bat plant...and if she can get more than one to grow I shall take it, though they sound like they are hard to care for. Very odd/pretty/menacing though, don't you think? Yes, that IS a flower.

I planted a few new things today in the greenhouse at school: Catnip (must try the catnip tea. must.), Moon and Star Watermelon, my Virgin's Bower (bwahahaha), and one little row of Empress of India Nasturtiums. So my garden so far this year will consist of:

Chamomile
Fennel
Gloriosa Daisies
Dianthus
Lavender (and then some!)
Dill (one.)
Crookneck Squash
Spaghetti Squash
A plant that is either a cucumber or a melon plant
pepper (for pots. I will have many pots this year.)

Those that are sprouting:
Virgin's Bower
Climbing nightshade
All the ones I listed above

Those that are the old vetrans:
Chocolate Mint
Alyssum
English Thyme
Oregano (not sage!)
Lavender and Chamomile (my lord)

Crap! Where am I going to PUT it all?

Anyone want anything from lists one or two? Please? Take-y take-y??

My seeds came!!!

...now they just need to GROW. I am very impatient.

::EDIT 4:40 PM::
1)clean my room. well, mostly.
2)unpack.
3)do the Japanese test.
4)do the Japanese worksheet.
5)find my Philosophy binder and read it for a few hours. I need highlighters!!!!
6)find this math worksheet.
7)watch Labyrinth. Again. Just the good parts!!

That is yesterday's list. I have managed to check of a pathetically small amount of it in the hours I have been awake today. Ah well. Progress on the side lists, though! They are getting longer!!!

...ya know, I love the way my family breaks the Entity and then expects moi to solve all of its problems. A few quotes from Fam:

on the major issue
me: "The computer is still messed up."
fam: "no, it's not."
me: "Oh, really. Then why is it running so slow?"
fam: "The computer guy said it's trying to run too many processes."
::I check the processess. 38. RIIIGHT. About half of them are evil::
me: "No, the problem is all the spyware and the four viruses we have. Which, might I add, are all still on there, despite the happy computer guy."
fam: "Maybe the computer guy didn't know he was supposed to remove the spyware." ((::smacks forehead:: what?!! He's a COMPUTER GUY!!!))

on the sound (or lack therof) that messed up while I was on break
me: "Alright. These are the settings you need. Stereo, and digital din. That's what you need to get sound."
fam: ::pushes button and changes my settings:: "So it will work if I turn on Dolby, right? Do we need it on Dolby?"
me: ::sighs:: "No. "

every time something goes wrong
fam: "Let's just re-start the computer and see if it will work then."

e-mail
fam: "I can't get into AOL."
me: "Is it freezing?"
fam: "No...I just don't get all my options. Look."
me: ::after watching:: "here's an idea. Next time try clicking the AOL icon instead of internet explorer."
fam: "What does that do?"
me: "Loads AOL."
fam: "But I can get it from here."
me: "Suit yourself."

Unc
unc: "hey, the computer's running slow. Can I install all my games on your laptop??"
me: "You are NOT TOUCHING IT. EVER. You sick bastard. Go back to the ruined glory machine."

Why I Am Happy Today

I got to talk to Batman, have lunch with Yellow Card, watch a movie with Fro, and make fun of Fam. Saving the plant and restoring my tree was nice, too. And now, Labyrinth!!

Back in the Grind

Found a brave little plant today in the street trying to eke out a living in some rotten leaves. Took it inside and put it in a nice big pot. We shall see if it lives. Poor little thing. It was so cute out there in the rain, dangerously close to a pool of Fros' engine coolant/oil/we're not sure, maybe both.

Not ready for school tomorrow. To be ready, I shall have to do several things:
1)clean my room.
2)unpack.
3)do the Japanese test.
4)do the Japanese worksheet.
5)find my Philosophy binder and read it for a few hours.
6)find this math worksheet.

As you can see, I'm screwed. But at least there are cookies waiting.

::EDIT 6:23 PM::
7) Watch Labryinth. Again.

EDIT 6:55 PM::
THINGS FAM DOES THAT ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF ME
1) Washes new crystal glasses in the dishwasher and bitches for the next three days about how they broke.
2) Tells me to clean up the "disgusting dirt ring" 'I left' in the tub. ((because I refused to pay for the chair "we" broke over MY thigh.-- I relate to you, Ron.))
3) Forgets all my guy friend's names.
4) We have five laundry baskets- three nice, two crappy ones with holes and rips and stuff. She always puts my laundry in a crappy one and sets it in my room on the rug. That has to be some sort of taboo.
5) Along this line: If I leave my laundry downstairs for any length of time she always throws my clean back in with my dirty....then puts it in my room on the rug in a crappy basket.
6) She opens my mail. Then she gets pissed if I point out she just committed a felony.
7) Two words: Financial Aid.
8) One word: Money. As in how much she spends on me. Any amount is too much, it seems.
9) Forces me to get rid of my dog and then won't let me get a new pet.
10) She makes all my new socks disapppear. I'm going to start labeling them with Sharpie and stealing them back from her drawers in covert missions.
11) I'll stop now and get back to checking off items on the other, important list above.

::FINAL EDIT::
Pardon me while I use this to organize my brain.

what have I gotten done so far off the list?
1)clean my room. well, mostly.
2)unpack.
3)do the Japanese test.
4)do the Japanese worksheet.
5)find my Philosophy binder and read it for a few hours.
6)find this math worksheet.
7)watch Labyrinth. Again.

OK. So that leaves me homework. Crap. I wonder if tomorrow is a day 1...

I also need the following for my sanity's sake:
1) File box to organize all my papers in. Tax stuff, college stuff, credit stuff.
2) Laundry hamper.
3) A new place for the Random Junk Box of Wren's Junk.
4) Re-organize my closets and find a place for my linens.
5) Get all my stuff off the Entity and onto the Uber-machine. That way I can rest easy knowing at least I'M not making that thing's issues worse.

Ok. That last list is going on the sidebar. Otherwise it will never help me.

Home at Last

Twelve hours, four dead dogs by the roadside, two major obstacles: large truck with blinking arrow, and hellish rainstorm.

I have never been so glad to be on the sex rug in my life.

All my exploits in Pensacola are posted below as a lovely sleep aid for you all.

My Face is Dry and Wants to Peel

Somehow sunburned random portions of my body yesterday. The damage isn't too bad, but now I think I'm gonna have funky tan lines when we go clubbing tonight. Oh well, oh well, oh well. It will keep all the strange evil guys away. All three of them.

Speaking of wanting to talk to people, randomly called Yellow Card last night after he accidentally called Tiny One's cell looking for his sister. Yeah. I told him he should be proud because he managed to make an ass out of himself to a person who is states away. Then I felt bad and told him I'd pay for his movie ticket when we went with his friend Shane. (I don't know the guy, so I have no qualms about using his real name.) It was only after I got off the phone that I remembered he owes me $50.

Today we're just gonna relax and do some laundry and try to get that freaky smell out of the hotel room. BWHAHAHA.

::EDIT 6:35 PM::

Well, here we are. Rose and I are getting ready to go out for a night of wild clubbing or whatever. She's yelling something in the bathroom and I'm trying not to hear her. =) I mean, I can't actually make out the words, and I'd rather she open the door and tell me than me go ask what she wants.

So dinner tonight, then the club. Agh, there are probably gonna be a lot of people, and now I'm all like I don't want to go, yo. But I'll have a lot of fun. I'm just not sure I look good, I guess. Even though all of you idiots would probably say I look like a total hottie. I do. I know that. I just like having those moments of self-consciousness that are brought on by spaghetti strap shirts+ no bra + odd sunburn lines that have been blended with base to look normal now but will probably die later.

I'll edit this once more when I get back to the hotel, ya?

::FINAL EDIT::
Phineas Phogg. Not PHLOG.

Yes, I Too Am Amazed By Me

Yesterday went to Peg Leg Pete's. I discovered that I like snow crab. I also left my shades there. GRAA. But, the good news is we tipped our waiter a ton and I think he thought we were funny, so when we go back to get T-shirts and more snow crab there is a slight chance that they'll be there.

Hmmm. I am debating trying to do a twelve hour drive straight back into STL.

::EDIT AM AFTER SHOWER::

Yeah. We'll be in Friday night instead of Saturday afternoon. We're decided the drive is worth getting back a day early. And, that will ::sigh:: get me back in time to work on my Philosophy paper.

I wonder if my seeds came yet.

I can't wait to get started on The Hat.

We're gonna go to the Gulfarium today!! WHEEEEEEEEEE!! And then I think tomorrow we're gonna have lunch at Peg Leg Pete's again. Tonight is dinner on a waterfront restaurant. No clue what the daytime activity for tomorrow will be. Possibly getting Tiny One situated for the night, since she's not going dancing at Balloon Works. I'm gonna see if she wants a movie from Blockbuster.

The BBuster here is IMMACULATE. I asked the dude if it was new, and he was all like "nope, it's old".and I wanted to ask him if it was older than '91. It was just so...PERFECT. The shelves weren't ghetto... agh. And I caught myself straightening coverboxes.

I miss everybody. Can't wait to see SLAM, and am dying to talk to Batman and Yellow Card. I also would like to see how Biker is doing. I think I'll drop by on Sat and bring her a smoothie or something.

And Last Night I Was Staggering Along the Beach and Fell Off a Ledge!

It was really more like allowing gravity to give me a tour of the lower edge of a hill of sand. Nothing spectacular, mind you. Though Rose did almost commandeer a lost pair of Birkenstocks.

Not sure what we're going to do yet today. Bought a new outfit last night at some odd department store called McRae's in Pensacola's small and utterly depressing mall. Evidently the monster that is Westfield has not made it to Pensacola yet. Maybe there is still hope?

Things we have left to do: Club (hence new outfit), zoo, gulfarium, Rose's massage.

::EDIT 3:27 PM::

Well, back from the zoo. It's technically the Gulf Breeze Zoo, but it's not in Gulf Breeze, and once you get there they just call it The Zoo. Funny thing is, calling it THE zoo is pretty presumptuous. I know I've been spoiled by the STL Zoo, but we made it through this cute little thing in less than three hours. However, it did have several good points.

1) I GOT CLOSE TO THE BIG CATS!! OH MY GOD, THEY WERE RIGHT THERE!!
2) They had ocelots and caracals. AWW.
3) I got to feed a baby gazelle.

But, they did name their camel Hank and their giraffe Gabby. The hell.

HMMMM. Tonight I may watch Clue.

Hee hee. I got Batman a pres-net now, too. But I can't quite talk myself out of getting a hermit crab. Yet. I really shouldn't do it. But...

Oh My God, They Killed Kenny!

((You bastards.)) Man, my fave South Park episode is STILL Starvin Marvin in Space, just for the Marklars. Sadly, very few people seem to remember it.

I'm writing this in Pensacola, FL, using Word because THIS stupid hotel is the only one on the entire beach that doesn't have data ports in every room. So, this won't get posted until I get back.

What have I done so far? Frisbee in the sand, swam in the pool, laid on the beach, went shopping and got SLAM a pres-net, AK a revenge pres-net, and mini-MOD a hat. He has no idea what's in store for him. Hopefully once this whole hat incident is over he will know better than to say really dumb things to me--just in case I take them seriously again.
BWAHAHA.

People I still have to get things for:
1) Ms. Batgirl
2) Poor Biker. All of us wonder how she is doing. I hope her surgery went well and she can be back to eating solids soon.

Things I still have to get people for:
1) Please, God. What are we going to do with all this alcohol?!!
2) Hermit crab.

Hey. Two things on the first list. Two things on the second. Coincidence?

Yeah, I think so.

Things I still have to do to myself:
1) Get tongue pierced.
2) I am so dumb.

Today we go to Sam's Fun City. It's an amusement park, and it has laser (lazer) tag.
Eventually we want to go parasailing/ jet skiing, and other things.

Argh

Well, I feel pretty sad right now. I invited Fam and Unc out to breakfast tomorrow before we leave, and, well...they're not going. Unc seemed pissed that I even asked, especially since it was "on such short notice". Well, he decided he couldn't make it because he had to go to court, and he didn't really feel like getting up a little bit earlier so he WOULD have time. So much for me trying.

I want to cry.

Why I am considering eating lead instead of going home

Yes, O Super-Sentient Reader, I am experiencing pre-Road Trip Stress. But it's not the "Oh God, I'm driving for twelve hours!" kind. Can you guess what it is? Family? Why yes! You get a cookie!

Well, I think the only way to go about this is to present to you a complete timeline of all the crap, so you cans see how many times the plans have changed. So then, hopefully, after reading this you will be a) as confused as I am, and b) as sick of dealing with it as I am. XD

OCTOBER:
Perhaps you remember this post a long time back when I was up in Seattle. It's a brief gush about how happy I am that Unc OK'd be going on a senior trip. I briefly worry about how Fam will take it, and say that I plan to ask in December.

DECEMBER:
I don't mention it, but this is the night when I go out to that most unsatisfying dinner and bring it up to Unc again. He tells me what he's willing to do for the trip.
1) He doesn't want us driving, so he'll fly me and three other girls.
2) Anywhere in the US. Possibly Cancun, too.
3) He pays for tickets, we pay for everything once we get there. We assume this includes hotel.
So I gleefully tell Rose, Tiny One, and Biker the news. Since Fam was away from the dinner table (off killing herself with nocotine), she didn't know who was paying.

JANUARY:
We decided to go to O'Ahu. Here's my note to tell him. LOL, it's un-necessary to click that, but I found it, so wash-haw.

But, Unc decides to change the rules. It is now anywhere in the continental US. And no Cancun. So it's back to the drawing board. So the negotiations begin anew.

FEBRUARY:
We decide to go to Pensacola, FL for our trip.

After a lot of negotiation, I am allowed to drive instead of fly. Unc agrees to pay for the gas, and in a burst of goodwill, all of the hotel for us. He also says that if I'm good he'll hand over some spending money.

Fam, of course, has no idea. Every time I try to discuss it she'd like "You can't drive, we won't pay, blah-de-blah..." and then Unc will get pissed, etc.

Here's when I made the mistake of asking Fam to help me make hotel reservations.

MARCH:
I have singlehandedly made all of our hotel reservations and planned the most basic itenerary for the trip. I have estimates on gas prices and solid hotel rates. I go to Unc and tell him how much I need.

His response? "I never said I'd pay for gas."

Oh yes he did. OH, YESHEDID. So we argue for a while and he's like "well, I'll give you a hundred dollars. You pay the rest."

TODAY: I tell Fam I need a chack for the trip money. I want it in my account so I can make sure I have access to all the funds when I need them. She tells me to call Unc and talk to HIM about it.

So I do. I tell him how much it will be, and I say, partially as a joke "And the good news is, I saved up a lot of money, so you won't have to give me any spending money."

His pissy retort: "I'm paying for your TRIP."
The humor fades. "I know, it was kind of a joke."
"What are you talking about?"
"Earlier you told me you'd give me spending money. I'm telling you I don't need any, and that I'll be fine."
Here he laughs really hard.
"You're getting spending money. I'm sending you there."
::on the verge of tears:: "I'll talk to you Friday before I go."

In summary:

At first all I wanted was and OK for the trip. Then, in December, he says he'll fly us anywhere in the US. On him. It was his offer; I did not ask. Then, in January, he tells us only the Continental US. Ok, fine. We decide we'd rather drive, he says he'll pay for gas. We figure out where we want to go in February, and he says he'll pay for all of our hotel. We were originally hoping he'd split it with us. Again, we did not ASK for any of this. He also said he might give me some extra money to blow.

So then this month he decides he never said he'd pay for gas, even though that's what he was originally willing to cover. But we work that out, even though he's a bit pissy, and Fam glares at me the entire time.

Then today, with the "stop asking me for more money" incident. They make me feel like a totally worthless financial leech, and when you look at it it was all at first HIS idea.

Next time I am drawing up a fucking contract and getting it notarized. This whole thing has made me feel like an absolutely awful person. And stressed, too.

So the moral, boys and girls? Every time it's time for me to go home, I sink into a funk and resist the urge to kill them all.

I did thank him for the trip, tho. Despite all the hell it's been planning it, I am very glad he didn't forget that he offered to pay at all.

This is fantastic!

"Poor woman, I've only been watching her for about forty-five minutes and I've already charged her as a murderer. It usually takes twice that long."

-Ms. Batgirl

Oh, man!

Well, I got home from work. I didn't even need to kill anyone. I must admit that I enjoy staying over at Tiny One's house. Since it's just a block away from my work, I can go "home" to eat, and it takes two (very freaking cold) seconds to drive back come closing time.

Ah, what to do tonight? Type up the info for my BELLADONNA project, you say? Good idea.

Also need to figure out what kind of hat to get the Mini-MOD. And what sort of odd object to present to AK. Also promised MOD-sama that I would tranq some hot girl in a bikini and keep her under the whole way home. He also suggested I just club her over the head and drag her off my her hair. I told him that if I had to do it that way that I was going to impersonate him.

Tee hee. I miss my Buddha fish. These are not related.

::sigh:: I also have to find Unc a T-shirt.

TODO LIST FOR TOMORROW:
(so's you all know to keep the fuck away from me)
1) Field trip. Ethics convention. I know, how odd. I will be stretching and morphing the moral fabric of young foolish boys everywhere.
2) Write paper. Beg Biker to edit it.
3) Rewrite paper.
4) Get Unc to fork over the trip money. I want it in my bank acct early so I can be SURE the funds will be available.
5) Study for Japanese test.
6) Take Rugbitchy's photo.
7) Cutty-pasty belladonna stuff onto posterboard. Tiny One is asleep, so I don't want to wake her up with any unpleasant odors right now. IE rubber cement. (Sicko.)
8) Find time to hang out with SLAM. fuuuuuuuuuuuck!! ::sob:: why, God?
9) Study for Plants and People test.
10) Drink much vodka.
11) Regret it.

I'm exhausted already.

Why I Want a Belladonna Plant in my Room

Look! There it is, just happily peeking out the window!!
Tee Hee!

And more! Oooooh, it's coming to get you!!
RAAAA!!!

More

I don't know what to do with myself today. I've had a royal attack of angst. I realized today that I have two more months of the pointlessness that is school to get through, and I don't even have enough willpower to make it through two days of it. Funny thing is, I need to make it through at least four. But the thought of four more days of school makes me want to cry.

I'm just so sick of it. I don't want to get up and do the same thing every morning, go to the same classes, come home and do the same pointless homework, and listen to the same stupid babble from Fam. I don't want to do presentations on belladonna or program calculators or write papers on why we should be good/ the satirization of the overimportance appearance is given while judging character in Pride and Prejudice. Mostly I don't want to live in this house anymore. I'm considering sleeping in the treehouse; I have no issues when I'm outside. It's just when I'm indoors. This whole damn place makes me claustrophobic now.

Funny thing about me being sick of routine, though? It's never going to change. Whatever I do with my life, it will always turn into the same-ol, same-ol. So what am I doing getting all upset NOW? Why am I setting myself up for even more anxiety later on?

That's the problem: It's not hard to KNOW things will never change, and that my life is destined to be routine. It's another thing entirely to realize it's actually true.

Denial of fate. Heh. Go me.

::sigh::

This day hath sucked. There has been no high point.

But I did find out that Unc will be shelling out a total of $800 for us to go down to Pensacola. That's 100 for gas (I cover the rest, evidently, but we should be fine) and 700 for hotel. We cover all food and other expenses.

Now I'm wondering if it's even worth all the crap I've had to put up with to get us there.

One more thing before I "beat the burlap"

A quote from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance:

"All the time we are aware of millions of things around us...but not really conscious of them unless there is something unusual or unless they reflect something we are predisposed to see. We take a handful of sand from the endless landscape of awareness around us and call that handful of sand the world."

-p. 69

Do you know how sad this makes me feel?

HMPH

Game night is now over. Despite what Tiny One seems to think, I had a lot of fun. I love Moods best of all the games, which is a bit sad, because I think it was the least favorite of the night (except possibly Cranium). I think I like it the best because it is relatively uncompetitive. There's no major strategy involved, there are no teams; no one is really counting on you for anything. It's a lot like gambling, too, with the chips. And the better you know the person you're playing with, the easier it is to tell the mood they are trying to convey. I think it would be great to get a room of total strangers together and force them to play this game. It might help establish the necessary vibes needed to form an empathetic relationship. (hee. I used vibe and empathetic in the same sentence ((sentance))!).

Something else I decided tonight, besides the fact that our tap water tastes funny again: I'm not a big game person. When I was growing up I didn't have any kids to compete with. I didn't have many friends, and I preferred reading or going for a walk to playing games or sports. I wasn't a loser; I was just picky about who I hung out with. I think now that has hurt me, because I get easily frustrated and upset when I am playing group games or other things like that. I always feel bad if I get something wrong because I feel that I have personally let everyone down and made them unhappy, and we all know it is my personal duty to keep everyone happy ::cue bitterness::.

So even though I can do well in social situations, there is always this little part of me that wants to hide off in a corner, leave...not show up at all. I don't think people realize that it stresses me out to be in public or in large groups of people. I like hanging out with a small group, or just being alone.

But when I'm alone, I'm usually lonely. So I can't win.

This may explain my constant headaches.

(Those last two lines were jokes, guys.)