Dear Body:

Please tell me why you have stopped liking chicken. Do you know how hard it is going to be to eat out anywhere now?

Love,
Brain

Safeway

Little Girl: "WHOA! What color is her hair!"
Biker Dad: *looks down aisle, proceeds to throw up the horns at me*
Me: *taking this in stride* "I don't know, what color IS my hair?"
Biker Mom: "It looks green, doesn't it honey!"
Little Girl: "Did you make it that way?"
Me: "Yes I did!"
Biker Dad: "No she didn't! All faeries have green hair!"
Me: "...not a fairy."
Biker Dad: "She's a faerie!"
Me: *FLEE*
Little Girl: "YOU'RE NOT A FAIRY! YOU'RE NOT A FAIRY!"
Biker Mom: "Hush!"

Biker Dad, you fail.

Ah, Fourth of July...

Fin.

I NEED TO NOT DO THINGS LIKE THIS

*room is full of security people, eating tons of food and chilling. The door is locked, and a sign on the door says KNOCK, WE'RE OPEN.*
Friend: "I cannot BELIEVE how much money you guys are making right now. LOOK AT YOU!"
Me: "I know! I'm making 18 dollars an hour to *yak* ...cough on lemons!"
Room: "..."
Me: *hysterical laughter*
Friend: "The sad thing is that is NOT the first time I've heard someone say that."

It took me a full five minutes to stop laughing.

Actually, I lied.

I'm still laughing. *snerk*

Oh, do continue...

"That's George Washington, the first president, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three—three or four books about him last year. Isn't that interesting?"—President Bush, showing German newspaper reporter Kai Diekmann the Oval Office, Washington, D.C., May 5, 2006

Bitches!

"I am having lunch!"
"I had breakfast made for me. Hah."
"Yes, and you have a wonderful girlfriend, which is a luxury I don't possess."
"Aww, I'm sure you'll find the right girl for you one day."
"Hardly. They're pretty to look at, but I'd go insane if I dated one."
"Funny, now that you mention that..."
"XD"

I really love my coworkers. I'm filling in for a kid who swears up and down he's sick (I call Fourth of July Jungle Fever), but I'm not about to complain because I'm making 12 hours worth of time-and-a-half for being here. Also, the grave shift is coming back around 6, and we're going to have a 4th-of-July barbeque. All in all, far more than I would have been doing had I not been called in, and while making $215.

God, that's as much as I used to get as my entire PAYCHECK at Blockbuster. I cannot believe I spent two years there.

On another note: I'll be spending my free time today making a Blue Seed AMV.

Happy Fourth of July, everyone!

Two stories

Both posted over at customers suck:

Summer lovin, having a blast! Summer lovin, happened so fast. I met a girl, crazy for me, I met a guy, cute as can be. Summer days, drifting away, but ah! for those summer nights!

In your itsy bitsy teeny weeny riding up the butt bikini, keeping on the heels cuz you're sagging just a teeny bit more than the girls he pretends he doesn't thrill, rubbing on the lotion, and rockin on the horse sized pills.

Typing to keep myself awake

After work yesterday, I actually fell asleep sitting up while arranging my bedclothes around me. I woke up a few hours later lying on my legs, completely disoriented, and in an incredible amount of pain due to my hip being pissed off. Feels fine now, tho. Still, I didn't think I was -quite- that tired.

The dispatcher and I had a mind-reading moment today when Partnerman walked in wearing a pumpkin, red, purple, and grey plaid shirt over a red undershirt with white shorts and orange flip-flops. Everything was going fine until we made eye contact. She grinned, I snickered, and it was downhill from there.

Partnerman's roomie: "What are you guys laughing at?"
Me: "We're having a girl moment. It would be best not to notice."
Partnerman: "What?"
Dispatcher: "It looks like you just got in from Hawaii."
Me: "Don't be silly! There's no plaid in Hawaii!"
Partnerman: - -;;

It was the white shorts that did me in, in all honesty. Though he usually has better dress sense than that. When we first started working together I had him pegged for a nerd because he always buttoned his polo up completely (including the forbidden "dork button"). Well, one day he forgot, and I learned the actual reason why. Thus, I assume today was laundry day.

Days off!

So, who wants to go see The Devil Wears Prada with me? I ADORE Meryl Streep.

Icons and hate

Straight from the PotC: Dead Man's Chest trailer. Johnny's next line is "I happen to have no dress in my cabin!"

Unfortunately, due to the amount of time I spent getting the perfect screenshot for this icon, I'm pretty convinced Elizabeth and Jack don't actually kiss. Her eyes are open, his are shut, and she pulls away from him slightly.

Maybe she's just a tease and there's still hope for hot sex. Happy thoughts, Wren.


This one is for Maddo. And those of you who see the movie MUST AGREE THAT IT IS TRUE. Tumnus crowns her and thinks "ah, now to wait ten years." *thumb-twiddle*

Though I can't decide if I should make one that is less overly cheesy and more, I dunno, less subtly joking. Maybe if I can master the art of the animated gif I'll give it another go.

Here's the banner I made, also for Maddo. (Tell me if you want different dimensions...)

Yes, that is star eraser brush+lens flare. SHAMELESS. ^^


And finally, what happens when you have twelve hours of shift and one actual hour of work to do. Yah, that's a sketch from Poe's LJ, badly colored and butchered by me at 4AM.

It's not easy being green... ^____^

I was just completely shunned by a lone Mormon.

Good thing he's headed off-campus today; it's rather hard to ignore a Maglite.

One of the camp counselors called last night and complained that we weren't sending female officers to do admits for the Mormon girls. Well, we kinda can't, when there are only two female patrol members out of 14 or so people able to let you in. So shut up.

I then got into a debate with Tom about whether this counselor would be more upset if he was sent to let them in, or I was. We figured it was pretty even until I suggested I hit on the girls as I was admitting them. I'm not a mean person, however, so will refrain from doing so without justifiable provocation.

Ugh.

Only halfway through the shift. I feel tired, sick, and headachey. I blame popcorn and flourescent lighting.

::EDIT::
Actually, I lied. I think it it's my meds that are making me sick.

Most of you have seen these already by now...

But for those who have not, I present to you my green hair:




Yay for color coordination.

Because we can can can!

I took a pic of me blonde that doesn't suck. But the green dye is soaking in as we speak, so it's kinda a useless thing now, anyway.



And here's one of me and the roomie, because I clearly just want to be like her.


As soon as the green is done I'll post pics.

^^;

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But whips and chains excite me.
So throw me down, tie me up,
And show me that you like me.

I am a moron.

Tonight I finally decided it's a good idea to password my photo directory. Sorry for those of you who liked convenient linkage.

Bubbler is now listed as KOS, just FYI.

*shakes head* I am never going to live down Bunny Wren.

Duck, Magnum! DUCK!

The hairstylist thinks I'm hysterical because I walked into the salon with purple hair, plan to dye it green, and yet hyperventilated when I saw myself blonde. Makes perfect sense to me; I'd rather be mistaken for a druggie slut than a rabid prep. Also, it's odd to see my skin have more color than my hair. I look...oddly tan. Alive, maybe? Is that COLOR in my cheeks? At least my eyes are still happy being green.

One simple color change has turned my carefully cultivated nerdslut look into some sort of sporty pseudo-prep hell. I plan on wearing a large sombrero until the green dye arrives on Thursday.

Ah hell. Without further ado, here thar be pictures.

As you can see, it's pretty brown at the roots, though the red and purple were still scarily obvious on the tips.


They put me in something called "a heavy foil." That doesn't mean a lot of foil. It's literally a fucking heavy foil. My neck hurts, and I was all floppy. (Ignore the pic qual. Cameraphone.)


It ended up being a very heavy foil, indeed. Topheavy.
"Look, I'm a metronome!" *wobble* "Ohfuck-!"


Maddo found the entire ordeal highly amusing.

And now, here's what you guys actually wanted to see, linked because I am still too traumatized to look in the mirror:
1) This is not me.
2) This is also not me.
3) This is a very sad me.

As soon as it's green, it will look amazing, but right now it's just...scary. You can see traces of red and purple left at the ends, and some strands of my hair were left unbleached. All of that is going to give the green amazing depth, so when it's out in the sun it will be even more awesome.

I'm going to go hide now.

Tomorrow I will be blonde.

The things I come across at work

This is not an interview--it's a catfight.

Assimilation

One of the side effects of working with the same person all the time is gaining the ability to communicate silently. We'll go through buildings together, and always know where the other person is going to check, so we get it done in half the time with no conversation--about what we're doing, at least.

And patrolling about campus? Practically predatory. When one of us pauses, the other will notice immediately and start looking for the disturbance. We listen for sounds, pick up on smells, track them down, and then enter in a formation that best suits the situation. It's pack behavior, and it's a little unsettling.

Then again, it does help us track down free brownies a lot. Which reminds me. The new 7-Up is really good.

I sleep now, but if you want to read about some suckage on the job, clicky.

Dear World: Fuck you and your sense of timing

You were right if you sensed coldness and a little bit of anger in response to the text message you sent me tonight. Some of it is from having an exam tomorrow, being tired from work tonight, etc. But most of it is, in fact, what it seems.

Fuck you. You haven't spoken to me since the middle of my Winter Break, after you knew for a fact I was angry at you. But you didn't care. And I understand that. You've never really given a fuck about anything, have you?

You texted me at 2:30. I'll bet you were drunk. This isn't you swallowing your pride and making amends; this is you pretending that nothing happened and assuming that I will do the same. And I say screw that. I know exactly what you're doing. You're bored, and you want to toy with me some more.

I am not a man, and I'm not your little bitch. So when you call me tomorrow, you had better fucking prove me wrong about you. I am not letting you do this to me anymore.

Gah. I was so sure I'd never talk to you again, too. I'm still not sure how I feel about it either way. Except for the deep sense of anger that is going to keep me awake tonight.

Serendipity

I have an exam and two labs tomorrow and have to work until midnight. So of course, dispatcher goes home with a migraine and leaves me the last four hours of my shift to sit at a desk and study. I'm sad that she has to deal with a migraine, but happy it worked out the way it did.

Now if only my nose would stop bleeding. I've already changed the bathroom trash and disenfected the bathroom once. - -;

Cobwebs

This is the only job I've ever had where there has been a need or a means to run and hide from one's bosses for three hours. This is also the only job that has caused me to gain a face full of cobwebs more than once a shift. Or that has given me a reason to climb to the top of a steeple and crawl around in a basement tunnel in the same hour (oh signing walls, I WILL FIND YOU.)

I offered to loan Partnerman a copy of Katamari Damacy, which caused him to invite me to his housewarming party on the 24th. I won't know anyone there, but I feel like I should go. If I don't, I'm worried he'll think I don't like him. And who knows; he and his friends are more mature than most of the drinkers I know, so it may be tolerable. He told me to just call ahead and see what's going on before I decide.

And now, two short letters:

1) Dear high school kids on bikes--
Yes, I understand that you're put out that we told you to get off campus, and then beat you to the parking lot where you thought you were going to keep doing your clown tricks unhounded. Doesn't it sting when you find out you're one of the predictable masses? But no, I will not "suck your sack;" judging by how fast you're biking away while yelling those obscenities at me, I doubt they've dropped yet anyway.

No love,
Security chick who could take you both

2) Dear cheerleaders--

NO.

No love,
Security chick who is sick of you forgetting your damned keys

Last Night: A Study in Madness

I've decided that the problem with Maddo, Sarah, and me hanging out with each other only once a week is that instead of our normal level of daily insanity, we feel we must CRAM AN ENTIRE WEEK'S WORTH into one night.

Thus, I present to you a textual smattering of what we brought down upon Olympia last night.

DRIVING:

Sarah: "Okay, turn up there."
Me: "Up where?"
Sarah: "There!"
Me: "...Which direction...?"
Sarah: "That way!"
Me: "SARAH!"
Sarah: "Left! Left!"
Maddo: XD

Maddo: "The turnabouts are coming up."
Me: "I love turnabouts."
Sarah: "Really?"
Me: "Yes, they're very efficient. So I go all the way through this one?"
Sarah: "Yes."
Maddo: "Wren, you were supposed to go right there."
Me: "I was going all the way through!"
Sarah: "It's fine. This is why it's a turnabout. Just get it on the next go round."
Me: "Correction: Efficient when Sarah is not the one giving directions."

AT DINNER:
I think I overdid the nerdslut look, because Sarah swears up and down the waiter (henceforth known as the Wall Gremlin) was giving me the eyes. Maddo thinks it was my rather bad timing in conversations:

Me: "Maddo, next time that happens, grab a lot of lotion, and give your legs a massa...
Wall Gremlin: "Can I get you another soda?"
Sarah and Maddo: *snerk*
Me: >.<

I'll leave the decision up to you. Tie+glasses, or bad timing?

And then some stuff that simply cannot be explained:

1) Sarah: "What the hell is that?"
Me: "...a lemon..."
Maddo: "Buttlemon."
Sarah: "Actually, it looks like a nipple."
Me: 9.9 *tosses it on her plate*
Sarah: "EW! I WAS GOING TO EAT THAT!"
Me: *Puts it on appetizer plate*
Sarah: *shoves it into the marinara dish*
Maddo: *covers in foccacia squares*
Me: "Oh my GOD."
Wall Gremlin: "...Ladies, can I get that plate out of your way?"

2) Maddo: *spits water all over table, chokes.*

AFTER X3: A story in three parts!

1) What I heard:
Me: "If I were a mutant, my superpower would totally be spontaneously generating ties."
Sarah: "From where?"
Me: "From my NECK, of course!"
Both: *Hysterical laughter*

2) What Sarah heard:
Me: "If I were a mutant, my superpower would totally be spontaneously generating pies."
Sarah: "... ...from where?"
Me: "From my NECK, of course!"
Both: *Confused laughter*

3) What Maddo (and her father) heard:
Both: *BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAFLOPFALLGASPSQUEAK*
Father (on phone): "What is that noise?"
Maddo: "Wren and Sarah."
Father: "What are they doing?"
Maddo: "What are they doing? Laughing. Loudly."
Me: "Oh God, he thinks I'm such a freak."
Father: "They are such freaks!"

Squeak.

I brought Squeaker in to take notes in class today, and ended up bonding with three other girls over tiny laptops. Then, the absolutely gorgeous girl who has the nerdslut look down even better than me (it's because she's tall) started showing pics of her chinchilla, so I brought out my rat pics.

Then we all went to the zoo for our last lab and had a fun time running around and looking at the animals. I bought a stuffed octopus and spent far too much time in the touch pools.

After that I realized it was far too pretty of a day to just go back home, so I went to the beach. Those quizzes that ask if you prefer mountains or beaches have it all wrong. I prefer both. >> Saw a sun star and a kelp crab and went wading for a little bit, then took a brisk walk along the sand with the vague idea that it would help my knee (fine-tune balancing responses). On the walk back I cut up a small cliff to take the path back to my car and ended up getting within five feet of a year-old male deer. Finally, I spent some time sitting on the cliff at the end of Point Defiance looking over the water at the Narrows Bridge.

It's been a nice day so far. I think I'm going to go running and then try to do some homework outside on the green by Wyatt.

When I'm back from running I'll post some of the crazy antics that went on last night between Maddo, Sarah, and me. X3 was pretty terrible, but watching it with open captioning made it a lot better.

Of course.

So my iPod is broken. It staged a coup on Squeaker last night out of jealousy and since then has refused to allow any computer to connect to it. So it plays just fine on its own, it is just no longer updateable.

Peachy.

The nearest Apple store is in Seattle. I'm about to call them and see if they think it's even worth the trouble. I can afford a new one, I'd just rather not buy one until Chew Toy has officially bitten the dust.

::EDIT AFTER SPEAKING TO INDIAN BRITISH MAN::
$250 to service it, eh? No, I'll pass on the contract. Thanks.

@.@

I present in a couple of minutes and I am SO HUNGRY... >.<;; I'm going to have to talk over my rumbling tummy to get through this.

At least I get to go eat yummy Italian food tonight.

*stabs the world*

I've been having terrible nightmares for the past week. Every single night, for the entire night. And they're not scary enough to force me awake so I'd have some respite. Nope, they just keep going. And I have no idea what's wrong.

I remember the last two most vividly. Night before last I dreamed something took over the world one night, and I was being chased down by this huge thing that was supposed to kill me. And there was a part where I tried to get back into my house after it had been abandoned for a year. Let's just say that didn't end well because of my new neighbors. The entire damn dream was set out in the middle of nowhere.

And then tonight? Spiders. Tons of tiny spiders crawling all over me, and all I could do was sob uncontrollably. And something about an angry ghost who kept trying to kill Daryl. So I finally wake up from that, check my e-mail...

The dumbass ex has gotten ahold of me again. He doesn't seem to be very good at that "not talking to you" thing. "Hi, I'm having a good summer, hope you are too, thinking of you."

That's just food to make my nightmares worse. You bastard. Can we have less of the psychostalkers following me, please?

Talk about a switch.

This is why I should not be allowed to get less than four hours of sleep before going online

TehBaorn: there was some crappy sci-fi movie on last night, where a black hole was going to engulf all of Missouri.
TehBaorn: I thought, "Should I really care?"
Prince Abubu: *laughs hysterically*
Prince Abubu: Things MO has to worry about: Gays, Black Holes, Earthquakes, Severe Storms
TehBaorn: XD
TehBaorn: XDXDXDXD
Prince Abubu: Things WA has to worry about: Missouri, Earthquakes, Volcanoes, Tsunami.
TehBaorn: XD
Prince Abubu: and yet I prefer WA
TehBaorn: no black holes!
TehBaorn: clearly an advantage!
TehBaorn: earthquake, volcano, tsunami, that doesn't ruin everything.
TehBaorn: it ruins most everything. but something might survive!
TehBaorn: black hole? you're just screwed.
Prince Abubu: No. The gays would save them.
TehBaorn: from the black hole?
Prince Abubu: yeah. it's one of the perks of homosexuality
TehBaorn: o.o
TehBaorn: so you're telling me...
Prince Abubu: That all gay people should be space cadets.
TehBaorn: if I preferred my sexual partners to have a penis...I'm immune to gravity.
Prince Abubu: Yes. >>
TehBaorn: *explodes*
Prince Abubu: black holes are just a devious aspect of the Homosexual Agenda, you know.
TehBaorn: *explodes AGAIN*
Prince Abubu: ^^;
TehBaorn: oh wait.
TehBaorn: maybe that's it.
TehBaorn: black holes? too much fabulous.
Prince Abubu: there cannot BE too much fabulous. Hence the black hole. SPACE-TIME CONTRADICTION
TehBaorn: XD
TehBaorn: XDXDXDXD
Prince Abubu: >>

Work today was soggy and full of Methodists.

DEAR UPS:

How can my computer and its contents weigh 18lbs? Where did the extra 14lbs come from? What did you pack it in, brick?

Sarah, let's go swimming!

But first, let's raid the chemistry storeroom.

I HAVE NO PATIENCE.

::EDIT FOUR HOURS LATER::
Well, the picture worked. My computer is in transit.

And you say I'm needlessly violent, Mike.

::EDIT 7 HOURS LATER::
Holy crap. Tracking number says it's scheduled to be delivered tomorrow. COULD IT BE? O.O

Note to self: post threatening pics more often!

oh! I forgot!

Three more things from work.

1) The Science Dept finally got two new cadavers. Our old ones were like...30 years old, and getting kind of ghetto. Well, the new ones were delivered to the Animal Phys lab during swing shift, so when we come in, Geniusman informs me of their arrival and says the following:

"I want to go see them, but I didn't have any time."

To which Bossman Sulk responds huffily:

"SHOW SOME RESPECT FOR THE DEAD."

...Dude. They donated their bodies to SCIENCE. Classes of 30 people take them apart and see what made them tick (or stop ticking) at least once a semester. Something tells me it's a lost cause.

2) Bossman Extreme had a run-in with the psycho janitor lady from the student center a few minutes before my shift began. She came in to ask about an outside door in the SUB that was held open, and he told her there was no reason for it to be like that.
"Alright. I'll let you guys close it during your rounds."
"If you're headed back that way, you could do it too."

Not rude at all. He didn't order her to close the door, he just suggested that if she were going to be in the building she could take the damn thing off the doorstop. Well, she freaks out, because apparently he just accused her of being the one to leave it open, and storms off in a huff. Bossman Extreme is a little confused, but goes back on his merry way.

THEN! Over the Facilities radio we hear her talking to someone about "that asshole who cruises around in the pickup." Yep. She's talking about Bossman Extreme. Over a walkie-talkie. We think she accidentally hit the button while talking to someone else, because it was broadcast kind of faintly. But needless to say, her boss wasn't too happy about what was just said. So he calls them both to have a meeting in the student center to try to figure out what the hell is going on. They meet right in front of the camera, so we pulled up the video feed and watched it later. The blonde lady was screaming, flailing around like a tweaker, and kept storming off repeatedly. After ten minutes, the meeting breaks up, Bossman Extreme begins to walk off-camera, and she comes FLYING at him. We don't know what happened after that.

The janitor ended up quitting. Over a propped door. Granted, her boss said she kept getting into fights with the other female staff, so she probably had other reasons, but still. It's a DOOR. She's a JANITOR, so I highly doubt shutting doors is the least savory aspect of her job.

So Bossman Extreme wrote an e-mail to Big Boss explaining the situation in an attempt to pre-empt the inevitable complaint against him. We'll see how it turns out.

3) It was a bad day for Bossman Extreme on all fronts, really. He was up all day with his kids, so was EXHAUSTED at work last night, and they had training that day, so he couldn't go to sleep after work. He ended up falling asleep in the truck around 4AM, and we couldn't get ahold of him over the radio for the next hour. Finally, it was 5:15, and he had to leave at 6 and had yet to do any unlocks, so I ran over to where he was on the other side of campus and started banging on the driver's side window. It took me two minutes to get him woken up. He looked really embarassed when he saw me, too.

We have two Bossmans who pull stuff like that on a regular basis, but when he does it, we know something's up.

It's 4AM, and I am giggling hysterically

::EDIT AFTER WORK::
Dude, something crawled up Big Boss's ass and died today. Evidence suggests it was his own head.

Big Boss: "Where's Bossman Extreme?"
Partnerman: "He's napping before the training session."
Big Boss: "I asked where he was, not what he was doing."
Partnerman: "He's on campus..."
Big Boss: "He didn't tell you where?"
Partnerman: "He told Bossman Kind. I can find out for you if you want."
Big Boss: "That won't be necessary."
Me: *fetal position*

5 minutes later...

Big Boss: "Partnerman, what's going on here today?"
Partnerman: "What's going on where?"
Big Boss: "I don't need you to be a smartass; just answer the question!"

In summary:
Me, Bossman T, Bossman STL, and Bossman Kind: "..."
Partnerman: O.o ?
Big Boss: @.@ ragharrrghblaghpppbt!

Dear Dell:

Please give me a reasonable explanation for why it takes more than two days to put a computer in a box. I NEED TO KNOW.

A most wonderful sense of freedom

I went into the doctor today, and he gave me the go-ahead to stop physical therapy. He did, however, warn me that if I do not keep exercising regularly and doing strength training for my inner quad and hips I will relapse.

He also told me I NEED to start running again, so for those of you who are worried I'll make things worse...HA. (Yes, I am mature.)

That's the problem with running. Once you start, you can't really stop.

I'm headed off to the gym to work out before I sleep again.

I hate networking so fucking much.

That is what supposedly provides internet to every room in this house.



At least one of those random wires is currently plugged into the wrong spot. If I were living in this house for any length of time, I would fix it and make everything work properly. Instead, I disconnected the damn thing from the modem, set up my wireless router, got help tripling its range, and then made it to where I am the only computer that can use it. So I am effectively the only person in the house with internet, which is fine, since no one else has paid me what they owe me.

That poor router reminds me of Key.

::EDIT::
Now with 100% more nipples.

::EDIT::
Now with 100% less incorrectly drawn right breast.
A male drew that art, I just know it.

Dell status page + refresh = @.@

My computer has been built and tested. Now I'm just waiting for it to be boxed and sent to me. If that takes two weeks, someone at Dell is losing something precious. I'm looking at you, boxing-supervisor man.

::EDIT::
So I miss 3/4 of the course material due to sickness, have limited time to study due to work and brain just saying NO, and I still get above the class average with a 71%.

YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF FUCKING SLACKERS.

This is apparently a DRAMABOMB waiting to happen.

I posted about some of the more idiotic guys I've dealt with on the job on Customers_Suck, and have gotten some interesting replies.

Me being angry that guys are calling me "honey" and asking if I'll be okay isn't because I don't appreciate being undermined when I'm on the job, oh no: It's because I'm a feminist.

And guys aren't doing crap like that because they're assholes; It's a basic biological instinct.

But if guys do it to women mechanics or women computer specialists, it's chavanism.

I work in a place where I NEED to be taken seriously in order to do my job. It has nothing to do with sexism. It's simply a fact.

So in short, LJ? Fuck you.

Luck

Dell just came out with a line of new dual-core laptops, which effectively made the one I want obsolete. Why is this a good thing? Well, I don't want a dual-core laptop. That sounds like great tech for a desktop, especially considering how hard I tend to run my computers, but for what I want this laptop for, that kind of stuff is absolutely fucking unnecessary. This laptop is for notes and internet and writing papers in the library (and maybe even movies on planes), not for games.

Thus, I just ordered my laptop, which initially was going to cost me about $1,400, for the low price of $830. That's 100GB hard drive, 1GB RAM, 12" widescreen, Pentium M, and all that jazz crammed into a computer slighly larger than a sheet of printer paper and about an inch thick. It weighs less than five pounds and has about seven hours of battery life. This makes it the perfect notebook. And, since it's a shiny electronic, I will NEVER LOSE IT. I leave textbooks and notebooks around incessantly. I did badly on my Cell Bio exam for that very reason. But this? This is something shiny. I guard my electronics like some sort of bizarre technology-hoarding dragon. I'll ALWAYS know where it is.

I have already picked out desktop wallpapers and an XP theme skin for it. Currently, I plan to name it "Squeaker."

That estimated ship date had better be a dirty lie. Is all I'm gonna say. >>

::EDIT AFTER WASTED TIME::
I present to you some screenshots of what I have decided Squeaker should look like.





The iTunes skin is still pending on judgement. It's between that and a pale blue one that matches the bunny.

Also, the screenname for my laptop is going to be "AllFoofyLove," (long story) so replace the name with that and change the icon to the wallpaper bunny on the Tril contact list. Delete the moon, as well. I didn't want to fuck with my widgets too much since I had to get Papoose back to the way it normally looks (read: lots of black).

::2ND EDIT::
Found a page that has the info you all are looking for. Sorry the piccy isn't bigger, but they've taken down all the fun high-tech stuff since it's on outlet now. I got the 8-cell lithium ion battery, in case you were wondering about just how awesome my battery life was going to be (that means it will stick out a bit from the back, but I don't mind, because it's still only this big). I also got a spare AC adapter because I've had too many problems with them in the past to not.

MADNESS!

I decided that instead of making a long, wordy blog post about the Seattle trip, I would make a long, musical slideshow. Unfortunately, I didn't get it done before work, so look for this monstrosity to be posted in the wee hours of the morning.

When I should be sleeping in preparation for my exam.

^^;

::EDIT AFTER SLEEP::
Got it done last night, but was too tired to wait for it to upload. The .wmv is INCREDIBLY better quality than the .mov, so I would recommend watching it if at all possible. The .mov catches on transitions and keeps the photos out of focus at first. I'll probably try to tweak it and upload a better one later.

The $1K Weekend.wmv

The $1K Weekend.mov

Enjoy.

Conundrum

Q. Eating the food of housemates that no longer live here makes me:

a) A terribly presumptuous person.
b) An opportunist who doesn't want stuff to go to waste.
c) Some dire combination of the two.

It's scary, tho. The downstairs freezer has a ton of Hot Pockets...and a whole turkey. Explain that to me if you can.

A quick note before bed

Coming home, it hits me that adulthood is slowly sneaking up on me. Here I am, driving to a house I'm paying to live in, from a job I took to pay my bills. Yes, all two of them, and I don't own the car I'm driving. But it's a start. Grown-up life is creeping in, man.

Then I get home and encounter this in my photos of the weekend:


Yes, adulthood. Come and get me. I fucking DARE you.

I love my job

A few things I've been meaning to blog about that happened during this set of shifts.

Me: *grabs bottle of ramune, heads for front room*
Me: *sets on counter*
Bossman Prime: "What is that?"
Me: "Ramune!" *depresses opener*
Ramune: *Fizz!*
Bossman Prime: "What just happened?"

It was the way he said it. Totally flat, normal, conversational tone.

My partner has a penchant for hurling doorstops that don't belong into random bushes. Tonight we found another one in the music building:

Me: "Oh look, that one's labeled Judy."
Partnerman: "Well, good. Now it's going to be labeled "Judy" in the woods somewhere."
Judy: *careens through air into a rhododendron*
Me: "Bye Judy."

Then there's even more proof that when I am in uniform, idiot men simply feel they MUST hit on me:

Me: *doing admit for asbestos removal people*
Testosteroni: *sleazy* "Heh, had to use that flashlight on anyone today?"
Me: *Wrenglare* "Not yet."
Testosteroni: "Whoa, okay, I'll stay in line."
Me: *walks off, muttering* "Asshole."
Partnerman: "You know, my last coworker never had that problem."
Me: "I have a vibe."

Also, my bosses seemed to have a very different idea of what my 6/6/06 should be like. After I accidentally set off an alarm during one of my lock-ups, Bossman Prime realized that I'd had far too little alarm training. So he shipped me back to base, sat me down at the computers, and proceeded to make every other employee currently working set off every fire, burglar, and elevator alarm possible to see if he could fluster me. People were RUNNING through halls pulling doors as they went.

Yes. The last 45 minutes of my shift were spent simultaneously writing notes, responding to and resetting alarms on the computer, responding to phone alarms, and keeping a constant radio contact going with my coworkers.

At the end of it? "Excellent job, Wren. Especially on the last one. You did everything exactly right."

Good. Now stop pretending to be dead, please.

And now I pass out. No classes tomorrow, so I can sleep in for a while before it's time to study hardcore for my next Oceanography exam.

One final note: The skeleton of the new blog is up for your viewing pleasure. I was in an odd mood when I made it.

Work Work Work

Have an exam on Friday in Oceanography that I've been spending most of my free time studying for. At least I don't have to work this weekend.

Dinner tonight? Tuna rice ball, miso soup, a drink that seems to be made from aloe vera, mango sorbet, and probably some of the garlic bread I left there from last night's dinner.

Rice balls are so much frigging fun to make. I need to remember to pick up some nori, tho, so I can use some of it, too.

My goal for 06/06/06 is to scribble my name as many signing walls as I can at work. And then sleep.

Cover down, boys.

I've had a couple of requests to make easy (read: bachelor-able) and yummy recipe guides with extensive directions and tips for those of my male friends who are finally getting sick of ramen and Cap'n Crunch.

So, in the next couple of days, look out. I might make a new blog, or just link pages here. Depends on how bored I get.

Also, pics of weekend will be up ASAP. Currently trying to get caught up in Oceanography, so I want to get that done before I dive on in to the massive blog post of doom that this weekend will require.

Gossiping hens!

Unc is pissing me off. We've been here for two days and seen him for less than five minutes. He canceled all the plans we had made today, and then got angry that I was upst about it. Yay sailing. - -;

Also, apparently there are still a lot of Missouri people who still read my blog. This bothers me for two reasons:
1) None of them have spoken to me in over a year. So why do they even care? (Besides gossip, of course, which is how I found out about this in the first place.)
2) I changed my blog address to keep a stalker away. The fact that they found this anyway make me wonder about the effectiveness of the change...
3) "Fuck off already." -Maddo

Needless to say, I'm in a pretty bad mood, and this damned keyboard isn't really helping. (*snerk*-Maddo) So I'm going to curl my hair in a ridiculous fashion, use my new honey and lotion, and vindictively order the bellpeople to find my high heels. Yep, they're in the car. Go fetch.

Best Thai food in Seattle, you say? Courtesy of my uncle, even? Oh, ESPECIALLY.

Jolly good.

West-in? Wha? West-out. I sense a clever ghetto joke here, but I can't quite place it.

Yay for TV internet. Yay also for the Maddo sitting to my left and correcting my typing as I go. Actually, I stand corrected: she's "horizontal."

We're all three currently in the throes of a love-hate relationship with this hotel. On the one hand, the 43rd floor bay windows offer a lovely view of downtown Seattle + Space Needle + Lake Union and/or Washington. There's a pretty excellent room service menu, warm and heavy bathrobes, comfy, if overwhelming beds, and a dual-head showerhead in the bathroom.

However: In the first ten minutes we were in the hotel, I had to call the "service desk" twice, once for a lost bag, and then because they decided not to actually make our beds before we arrived. The shower, though lovely indeed, likes to "whistle as it works," deluging the ears of everyone in the hotel room with a dog-whistle-esque whine of pure rage and rebellion. Now that I think of it, the TV was doing the same thing last night, though that might be because it was reluctant to play the entirety of The New World. In retrospect, I don't really blame it, and if I were actually PAYING for any of this I would demand my money back from the concierge, possibly at knifepoint whie wearing a lovely bathrobe like a cape.
Actually, switch knife for "ice tongs". I like that mental image better.

Today we've been invited to watch the Uncle's race from the VIP boat, but we've decided we rather like the idea of skipping that (on pretense of the water air aggravating my symptoms) to go play aound in downtown Seattle all day. We're in a conveniently situated area for everything except Uwajimaya, which we'll probably make time for tomorrow on our way back into Tacoma.

There's also an "afterparty," but as I just told Sarah and Maddo, it will likely be full of post midlife-crisis, bored, rich thirtysomethings. And a LOT of booze. We are torn.

I'm being ordered to stop blogging and get dressed. I'm hungry, so I'm going to oblige. Sarah has been taking a lot of pics, so once we get back in town there will be another photoessay for everyone's (?) enjoyment.

I thought this crap had gone the way of Scarlet Fever

Apparently I have tonsillitis. We don't know yet if it's bacterial or viral (though my strep test was negative), so there's no knowing for the next two days if the antibiotics will help. In the meantime, I'm on lots of ibuprofen for the swelling, and also have the joy of gargling lidocaine+Wilcox. More proof that chocolate milk cures everything, I suppose.

Also, my uncle is in town over the weekend. Fam told him how sick I am, so he's planning on calling and "checking up on me." I am not allowed to let on that I am finally aware of the depths of asshattery he has fallen to. So now it's a dilemma: bite my tongue and get new toys, or refuse to answer the phone and give my nerves a rest.

More proof that God hates me

I can't imagine what else could go wrong today. But I'm not going to try very hard in case it decides to prove me wrong. I don't know what I did to piss off my Higher Power, but MAN. I must have. Making it through this day is going to cause some serious Karmic burn-off.

So I got home sick last night, call Fam, and agree that I need to go to a doctor. Before I pass out, I get ahold of Matt and get info for the Urgent Care clinic he went to when he had a really bad ear infection. Today I wake up and get ready to head into the doctor...

...and my car dies. Cue tears.

So then I call my aunt and she convinces me to call CHWS on the off-chance that they are open in the summer. Well, they are, I find out- but only for counseling appointments. That has to be one of the most fucking useless things I have ever heard.

They were kind enough, however, to offer me a link to the least helpful pamphlet in the world. Well, except for the Urgent Care clinic, which I find out is only 1.8 miles away, and is open to walk-ins from 9AM to 9PM. Too bad my fucking CAR is dead.

So I call a taxi service. Now let me explain something here: I have a taxi phobia. I hate calling for them, I hate riding in them, I hate driving by them. It's ridiculous, I know. But at this point, I figure I have no other choice, because I have not been this sick in a long, long time.

Taxi guy apparently doesn't understand the concept of a "Wheelock Student Center at 15th and Alder." It's the most common pick-up point on the frigging campus, but "he needs an address." At this point I am incredibly stressed out, start crying, and hang up on him. I've never had that problem before; any transit company understands where the Student Center is, because not knowing is very bad for business. Maybe he was new, but I dunno. Just my luck.

So I finally break down and call Sarah's cell phone a couple of times. She doesn't answer, so I get on Google and look up what I hope is her home phone. I get her dad, he says she's at work, and gives me her number, and I call her and break down sobbing hysterically over the phone.

Now she's trying to get ahold of her family so she can take off work, drive up here, and save my life.

I have the best roommate ever. I cannot BELIEVE how awesome she is. I've spent the entire morning feeling scared and alone, and the fact that she's willing to drive from Olympia to help me out is like...overwhelming awesomeness.

Misery

Everything hurts. At work, and just spent last ten minutes dry heaving in the bathroom. I can't imagine how my throat will feel if I actually throw up. Both ears ache terribly, my entire neck is tender, and I have a light-sensitivity headache.

I've been told it's okay for me to go home if I need to, but if I do, that will basically screw over the rest of the shift.

I'm gonna try to stick out at least 30 more minutes.

Fuck it.

I still feel like crap, but I have to work tonight. So I'm going to have some tea, remedicate, and go get Arby's+shake, buy rat food and bedding, and a DVD player, and head home. Hopefully by then I'll be nicely exhausted so I can curl up in my Sick Nest and watch movies, then sleep again before work tonight.

And I don't have class tomorrow, so I can come back and pass out after work.

My throat and ears are trying to kill me. I just know it.

::EDIT AFTER ERRANDS::
S.T. had better be one happy rat, because I bought a lot of new toys for him.

I should be in bed.

slow-motion accident: Wren requires us on floor pic.
slow-motion accident: And me stuffing cleavage in my bra pic
slow-motion accident: XD
slow-motion accident: money!
slow-motion accident: money in my cleavage.
slow-motion accident: *dies*
Sarah: lol
Sarah: HHAHAHAHA
slow-motion accident: I am SO STRUNG OUT
Sarah: *falls on floor laughing*
slow-motion accident: I cannot fucking BELIEVE I just did that.

Small Favors

I called my work and talked to them, since I feel worse today than I did yesterday. They told me they'd go ahead and let me stay home sick, and if things got crazy later and they needed me to dispatch they'd call me in. My cellphone wakes me up, so that shouldn't be a problem.

That seems fair. They're expecting it to be pretty dead tonight anyway, since it's a holiday weekend. So I'm not leaving them completely stranded, and I'm not left completely miserable.

I am having tea and then collapsing, watching a movie, and going back to sleep around 1.

Another sign of your incompetence

Yes, I've heard you sitting in the office for the past 45 minutes, talking trash about my coworkers.

The door is OPEN, you dumbass.

=_=;

Halfway Mark

In all honesty, I do this job for things like pizza bagels and key lime cheesecake.

Mmmmm.

::EDIT THREE HOURS LATER::
Oh my God, three more hours? I am SO DAMN TIRED. I blame being sick, but seriously, this is insane. My eyes hate me, my body hates me, I hate me...

Oh, thank you, Penny Arcade podcasts. Here goes another hour. Bossman Kind has offered to let me go nap, and then told me I should go home, but that would be a bad idea. We have two conferences here today, and that would leave Newest Patrolperson and Incompetent Bossman alone on their own. Which means Newest Patrolperson would be dispatching, leaving Incompetent Bossman to do all the footwork. Which is a bad idea, since he is incredibly lazy. And incompetent. Which I may have mentioned.

So here I stay, for the greater good.

Better and Better

A word to the wise:

I realise that this is my first shift with both of you, coworker-people. However, I'd like to think the signs of pure, eye-bloodying rage are so universal that the two of you would know when to quit. I've been proven wrong quite frequently in my assumptions this week, however, so I suppose I shall just have to add this one to the pile.

No, he's not gay, and I don't care what his dumb bitch of an ex has told you. I've known him for two years, and she dated him for a matter of weeks. Which one of us knows him better? No, I don't care what you've "heard," because trust me, it's probably a house joke that you are far too incompetent to wrap your mind around.

"No, no, it's fine if he is." Good for you and your open-mindedness. Really, I applaud you. Now if only you would apply that to the difference between truth and vicious gossip and save my nerves some strain.

"Dude, he totally is. I have a source." Yeah? I'm his fucking HOUSEMATE. I've seen what he has pinned up in his room, but you know what? You're both idiots, and I'm not dignifying either of you with an argument over this. So I'm going to spend the next ten minutes in the kitchen taking deep breaths and trying to remove my nails from the palms of my hands. kthx.

This is the last time I work with either of these people, so help me.

My Worst Nightmare

Theorytime.

I think being sick instantly halves your age.

For example: I am watching Tarzan, and just ordered Lady and the Tramp and Beauty and the Beast. I think that will just leave Sword in the Stone before I finally feel my Disney collection is complete.

::EDIT TWO MOVIES LATER::
Took my temperature. It's higher than my normal; on a given day I usually run about 97.4. Today I'm actually at 98.6, which makes me think I may be on the verge of a full-blown fever.

Also really tired. Napped from 4-6, then again from 8-10, then at ten I went back to bed until 8 this morning. And yet, time to nap again. Hopefully that will help me make it through work.

This is me blaming you again, Mike.

This house will make me a better Buddhist. Yes, let's treat it as a learning experience. I must develop compassion and understanding for those of humankind not born with enough brain cells to walk them across the street.

*deep breath*

I'm sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why I found my modem completely unhooked today. That's right. I walk into the living room and find it unplugged from the cable, the power, and the ethernet, just sitting there on the floor. The cable hasn't been put back into the TV, and nothing else has been changed.

Unfortunately, I possess the power of thought, and thus cannot FATHOM why this was done, no matter how hard I try. So I'll just have to feel compassion for them. Which I do. I mean really: HOW DO YOU SLUTS EVEN MANAGE TO FIND YOUR ASSES WITH YOUR HANDS, YOUR BOYFRIEND'S HANDS, A FLASHLIGHT, AND LUBE?

I am a bad person. And there is rage.

My first Oceanography exam is today.

There's a lot of stuff to know. I can't believe we covered all this in two weeks' time.

My head feels like it is going to burst. Time to play some Katamari Damacy before I go face my fate.


::EDIT AFTER EXAM:: Well, that went refreshingly well. I'm going to nap in an attempt to start preparing my sleep schedule for my next set of Grave shifts.

So I walk into my bathroom to rinse out my cup, and all the drawers are open, and my stuff has been rearranged. NO ONE ELSE IS CURRENTLY USING THAT BATHROOM.

Everyone in this house deserves to die.

I hate you, Europe.

The Ancient Greeks proposed that the world was round, that humans evolved from fish, and that all life began in the oceans when Europeans were still barbarian tribes.

Today, there's still an ongoing debate about whether or not evolution is a real occurance.

Oh, Dark Ages. What the hell did you do to civilized minds?

okay, so camera phones can be occasionally useful...

...such as when you decide your friends need to get a sneak preview of the interior of the new science building. Let us off on a virtual tour of some of the oddities and wonders I came across when we decided it was time to get out of the pouring rain and have some fun.

But first! When we were locking down Thompson, we came across a rather shocking sight. Bossman Prime opened a door to our largest two-story lecture hall, pauses, and goes "Oh my fucking God." (only slightly less amusing than when Partnerman shrieked "CHRIST ON A CRUTCH!" when all five lines of our phone were ringing at him.)

I amble over. "Did they tear shit up?"
"That is a bit of an understatement."

So I enter the room. Behold.


Let's get a replay of that for the fans, shall we?

It was like the construction crew got royally pissed and started flinging the chairs at the lab bench in a rage. (Clearly I have missed my calling.) That pile is as tall as I am, dearies.

Next Bossman Prime figured out why it has been taking so long to get things moved. Apparently the crew is working with a dolly that was formed piecemeal from a seventeenth-century HANDPLOW.


Coincidence? I THINK NOT.


Nice corn pipe, by the way.

Moving on. Next I discovered why some of the biology students chose the major they did:

I honestly believe that the person responsible for that little gem would be escorted out at gunpoint if he ever stepped foot into a Humanities course.

Then we moved on into the new science building, and I started peeking around in all the labs. It's incredible. There's enough lab space in there to have a dedicated and customized lab room for each course. Even the more obscure ones, like Geochemistry. The Animal Phys lab has overhead lamps on tracks that can be moved and directed to provide ultrabright light wherever you need it on the lab bench, which I'm sure will make dissection less difficult on the eyes. Here's a shot of a basic chem lab:

It's got lovely new benches, and look at all that floorspace. We have room to move now! The ringstand poles are built-in, and the new hoods (see back) are LOVELY. I can fit in them. >> There's a ton of shelving for storage, and I believe a dedicated area for everyone to toss their backpacks.

In the human anatomy lab, we came across a lot of hanging models. There's a pun here, but I shall refrain (OR DID I?).

That's Partnerman and Bossman Extreme, by the way.

Here is the spiral staircase that resides in the main entrance of Harned hall. It's, erm...a suspension staircase, and it gives me terrible vertigo.

That disc at the bottom is where the three-story pendulum will be centered. It's so large it takes 16 seconds to do a full "tick."

Hanging in the atrium from the roof is our whale skeleton. My chem lab partner actually hung that himself. How, I wonder to this day, but there it is. You can see the cables for the staircase, too.


In closing, I should like to leave you with two pictures that cause me to question the sanity of every member of the Biology Department.

The label says "200 Proof EtOh- For gun." And it's sitting next to a scanning electron microscope image of a spider's anus and spinnarets.


Those doors are made of wood. Behind it is a two-gallon jug of every common alcohol used in Organic Chemistry.

And there we have it.

Well, I didn't fail anything. I probably shouldn't be a Bio Major, but I didn't fail anything.

Juxtaposition

You curse like a sailor, assume the worst of all of our students (often with good reason), hate everything about the new science building with a bone-aching passion, and generally carry yourself with an angry and slightly bad attitude.

And yet you perform catch and releases on the office spiders while talking to them sweetly and go out of your way to feed the library cat.

You, bossman, are a fascinating person.

Dear Mr. Swimmer Man:

I understand that you are thankful we came to let you into the pool. However, the glint in your eyes, the smirk on your face, and the fact that you looked me over before saying so makes me think you meant that on a much more personal level.

You think a female security officer is hot, hm? Try me, bitch. I'll make you cry in a way that was never meant to be sexy.

I never thought cats would be the enemy...

Until my housemates let a stray in last night. This morning I left the room to brush my teeth, came back, and caught it fucking with my rat. Just cleaned rat's cage, so he had no place to run and hide, which left him catatonic in fear for the next five minutes. Unmoving. Even whiskers entirely still. I gave the poor guy a hug and nudged him into a cereal box, so he hid in there until I left.

I booted the cat back out the door and told him quite sternly that if he ever came near S.T. again I was going to kick him.

Then I kinda petted him and fled. >> He had a bum foot, so it was impossible to keep my hatred pure.

Now I am sitting in the SUB listening to some old guy make fun of classical Italian music while doing a sound check. Yes, that requires singing in a drunken falsetto. It is going to be an odd day.

Close your eyes. It will all be over soon, I promise.

Every day that goes by brings me another reason to destroy my housemates. Luckily, all the ones on my list are moving out within the week, so hopefully the ones that replace them will be sane (like me >>). None of them know the girls who are moving in, so that's a hopeful sign.

But:
1) If you wash your clothes at 9AM, and dry them at 10, and then dry them again at 7PM, and then LEAVE THEM THERE, I will remove all your nasty-ass thongs and dry my own clothes because I actually have work in the morning. When you're sharing a house with people, GET A MOVE ON THE DAMNED LAUNDRY. And how DARE you own Superman briefs? You are not cool enough by far. - -;

2) If you tell me the internet is good until the 26th, and someone magically shows up on the 19th to disconnect it, thus leaving me without internet until the following Wednesday, I will craft a voodoo doll of you and boil it with lobsters.

3) Comcast: Fuck you and your $99 service fee. Fuck you hard. And while we're at it, fuck you for making it to where if anyone in the house wants cable it has to be in my name, too. I don't trust anyone else in this house with the brain cells it would require to hand me the money.

In other news, I start my first set of day shifts today. Whee! At least I'll be out of the house for most of the next four days.

Coincidence! I think not?

Hypothetical person writes long boring thesis, computer commits suicide.

I work on chem paper, computer commits suicide.

It's all my fault!

I just slept for sixteen hours.

It was AMAZING. I feel so AWAKE.

My back is killing me, too, but that can be fixed through stretching. Apparently I was so tired I did not MOVE.

Settled in.

Well, I've got all the furniture arranged. I still need to buy sheets and a mattress pad, put up posters, and drag my games, DVDs, and books from the attic, but everything else is all set.

I appear to be the cleanest person in this house. Then again, it could be because I plan on spending all of my time when I'm here in my room with the door closed, so I need all the happy space I can get.

Dumb bitch who I took the room from left used Q-tips all over the floor. It may have made me snap. Was in a bad mood for a lot of my work shift, though that was due in part to the bossman I've never really worked with thinking I'm lazy.

Okay. Let's discuss this.
1) This is my fourth graveyard shift in a row. I have classes, too. I may have mentioned that. I think it's on the whiteboard, too. And I just moved out of one house and into another when I wasn't working. In the past five days I have gotten 15 hours of sleep, and I just so happen to be recovering from a knee injury. Today my calves are so sore from all the walking, lifting, and the complete lack of downtime that I cannot even straighten my legs completely. So, when you walk into the room and see me sitting on the floor, that is me stretching so I can go out and do another patrol. Stop fucking radioing me location checks. I do, in fact, leave the base. And stop it with the "you should look over bla bla bla when you're taking a break." I know you won't believe this, but I've already read everything you're suggesting. Hence the sitting and watching Partnerman dispatch. That's next on the things I need to learn. So stop distracting me.

2) Yes, I know the basics of locking and unlocking. Me not getting the right keypost to lock down a doorhandle in Jones on the first try is not a sign of a low IQ. Every doorhandle in this building has a different size key that works it, and you can't tell which one is which by the size of the hole. Telling me I should "mark the one I usually use with whiteout" is not going to solve a goddamn thing; that building requires FIVE.

3) Yes, I know which key opens this building. It's an academic building, and they all have the same master. See this keyring? It has ten keys. I had to inventory it this morning. They're all the same color, so I'm only going to know which one it is if I look at its fucking label. So stop repeating "It's Key X! X!" every time I pick up the ring. This is your fucking building to unlock, anyway. Hop to it and show me how it's done, Sifu.

4) OF COURSE I KNOW WHERE SUB001 IS. It's the fucking student building. Now I know this is shocking, since I'm taking summer classes, have purple hair, and am doing a work study, but I'm a student. I also have eyes. They stared daggers at your left ear all morning, remember? All of this points to me having gained this oh-so esoteric and mystical knowledge by the end of my second year. Uh-huh, yes, it's in the basement. I understand how door numbers work. I can even tell you in Spanish if you'd like. So can it. I walk down the fucking steps. It's not like it's the fifth brick from the stain that looks like baby Jesus, stroke it lightly and say "reveal thy secrets" while standing on my left leg and playing God Save the Queen through the stereo system at full blast. In German. Were that the case, no one would ever ask us for admits.

5) Oh, look at that. It's 5:45. It's been lovely, but it's time for me to go do my unlocks. Wait. What? Why am I going that way? Because it's the closest door to the outside. Why are you looking at me like that? Unlike you, I'm not a lazy fuck.

o.o I know you did not just order me to cut through the building to get to the one I need to unlock. Why does it matter? What do you think I'm going to do, sneak back to base and have a lie down? Okay, fine. What the fuck ever. There's a really bitchy blog post with your name on it, bub.

I love most everyone else there, tho. They like that I remember things after being told once and am not afraid to ask questions or be on my own. I also get along with them all. I don't feel like I know everything; I know there's a TON to memorize, but I have what I've been shown down pretty well. Outside of that, yes, feel free to walk me through it. I encourage you. In fact, I welcome it. But if you ASSUME that I am an incompetant moron and don't give me the chance to prove to you I am in fact the opposite, I am going to become cold and snippy.

On a more fun note, remember that TA from freshman year I hate lots and lots and lots? Well, he's the leader of a frat here. And last night someone drove by and threw a beer bottle through the window of his hall. So he spent the last night he was in the dorm, and on the campus, as well, dealing with us and running around cursing like the pissy little bitch he is. "This is the LAST fuckin thing I need right now!"

I may or may not have gotten a sickening sort of satisfaction out of it.

I just almost fell asleep in the SUB.

Stupid fucking twat. I'm doing you a motherfucking favor by helping you get out of your lease early. The least you can do is let my exhausted ass into my own room and stop whining that I put my bookshelf in your more than adequately sized kitchen. Had I known you were going to extend my consciousnesstime by this long, I would have left the damn thing on your goddamn bed as a pre-emptive and silent fuck you.

Last week you told me 12:15 was when we'd meet. I get an e-mail today saying "oh, between 1 and 1:30."

I WILL END YOU.

::EDIT:: She called at 2.

Last Words

Blogging from the SUB, since I technically don't have a home right now. About to head off to Oceanography, and am trying to caffeinate. Shift went well. I actually got to unlock buildings and patrol on my own today. Also did a lot of knitting. A lot. Of knitting.

Body seems to be falling apart. Fingers won't type, feet hate me, eyes hate me, and I have hat-bang. Not hat hair. Hat BANG. - -; Knee decided to swell halfway through the shift and was incredibly painful, so I was forced to resort to The Exercise Designed By A Sadistic Legless Man to make it all better. That's the one where you hold your kneecap down, flex your quad, and then let your kneecap go and feel it pop up like a spring. Well, it should. Sometimes it grinds like a screen door. That's a sign of the bad, in case you didn't know.

I spent 1/8 of my shift (how precise!) looking for my checkbook so I could write a rent check later. It was slightly less than amusing. Next up I have to buy a notebook, head to finaid place to finalize stuff for classes, go to class, pay rent, get key, start moving in, go to doctor, come back, keep moving in, fall asleep, and then head back into work at midnight.

Whee.

Oh! Sarah and Maddo, you'll be jealous. I spent about 45 minutes exploring the new wing of the science building tonight. It is most excellent. It feels a little imposing and enclosed, which surprised me because from the outside it seems like mostly glass. >> The new lab rooms are HUGE, and the benches have footrests. I may have danced. Some of the hallway signs remind me of being in an airport, though. I kept expecting some Hispanic woman to go "Attention in the terminal! Plane is now departing Cadaver Lab C. Passenger Williams, please report immediately or you will be left behind."

10 hours of sleep in 4 days=eyes burny head hurty

Well, I'm technically checked out of the house, so after I get all my stuff outta here tomorrow I...will be gone. Yes, it is these kinds of thoughts that betray how fried my brain is. In 12 hours I will be in the middle of my first class. I pity the professor already.

In the past two days I have learned more about this school than I was aware there was to know. For example, there is a tunnel over on Greek Row that leads to an underground cafeteria. It used to be for the Greeks only, but about 1o years ago they closed it to "promote campus unity." My thoughts? Give them their fucking cafeteria back. I'm sick of dealing with them in the SUB.

Also, half the freshman class is on academic probation this semester. Yes, 50%. That is an all-time high of any class since this university opened in 1888. (Can I call it, or what?) I'm hoping that most of them end up dropping out so I don't have to deal with so much STUPID in my future classes. From what I hear, unfortunately, the new incoming freshmen aren't much better.

If your love were taken from me,
Every color would be black and white.
It would be as flat as the world before Columbus.
That's the day that I lose half my sight...


If your life were taken from me,
All the trees would freeze in this cold ground.
It would be as cool as the world before Columbus.
Sail to the edge and I'd be there...looking down.

Those men who lust for land,
and for riches strange and new,
love those trinkets they desire,
but they never will have you.
They will never know the gold
Or the copper in your hair.
How could they with your worth so rare?

If your love were taken from me,
Every light that's bright would soon go dim.
It would be as dark as the world before Columbus.
Down the waterfall, and I'd swim over the brim.

Ooops.

So, my first work shift actually starts tonight at midnight and goes until noon.

I woke up at 7AM and have been testing and packing all day.

There's a reason this job pays almost $12 an hour. Tonight, that shall be my mantra.

I joined Aum to develop my powers of levitation, but all I got was a stupid gas bombing

Baron: so, disgruntled japanese youths joining Aum. what caused that?
Prince Abubu: economic boom.
Prince Abubu: general postmodernist worldview, really.
Baron: economic boom = "man this is all a load of crap?"
Prince Abubu: Well, more of a "holy crap, we're all materialistic, look at all this money! why are my kids so upset? I'll buy them a new toy!"
Kids: "The world is rotting. Look at all the crime and pollution. Fuck money, I'm gonna get me a religion."
Japan: "welp, we have lots of those, thanks to this handy allied constitution!"
Aum: "Want to levitate?"
Kids: "WAI!"

::EDIT::
Yes, that is the actual title of my term paper.

Sweet revenge.

Well, my Chem final is in 30 minutes. I've done all the studying I can, so I went ahead and donated the book I hate more to a library in Ethiopia. That's right, motherfucker. You're going to a better place.

I think I'll do okay on the final. I have two hours, so I'll take it slow, and make sure I really think about the problems. The good news is I know all the stuff I didn't get at all, so hopefully between that and the stuff I remember partly I'll be fine. I don't care, though. Once that exam is over, I am never looking at chem again. No sir. I am heading to the SUB, selling my books, picking up my brand spanking new cell phone, and heading to the library to write a paper that is due tomorrow at six. Oh, and I have a meeting with the security people from four till five.

I'm gonna buy an italian soda and then go chill until the test.

STOP.

FINALTIME!

After this, I'd say blogging in the library is the lesser of two evils...

Maddo and I are having a conversation, rife with mutual bitching about our finals, moving out, biased novel sources, etc. Suddenly, I snap.

Prince Abubu: agh! ACCIO SATURDAY.
Maddo: accio brain?
Prince Abubu: ACCIO MADDO.
Maddo: aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

After she types this, I look up just in time to see her ROLLING SIDEWAYS along the desk at me, arms outstretched, with a look of pure horror on her face. Upon arrival at my cubicle, she bursts into hysterical laughter and falls over.

Thank God for small favors

Before I headed off to PT today, I had to stop and get gas. I remember being slighly disgusted that I was HAPPY the price was below $3.10 per gallon. I sit there for a while and decide I might as well just fill the tank, since I'd probably need it for moving.

So I swipe my card, get everything going, and lean against the car, enjoying the sun. Ten point four gallons later, I'm ready to go. Guy at next pump looks up, grins at me painedly, and goes "So, how much for a full tank?"
"Um...thirty-two."
"Yeahhhhhhhh."

Thank you, Fam and Unc, for buying me a car with a ten-gallon tank that gets 35 per. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don't think you knew what you were doing when you didn't stick me with the Durango and tell me to suck it up.

At least living on campus means I go through a tank of gas once a month, if that. I just remember being able to fill up for $11 in high school.

My title may say the future doesn't scare me at all, but every time I pay for gas I admit to feeling like The End Is Nigh.

ARGH

My stupid Modern Japanese Lit paper makes me want to choke on my raspberry italian soda.

::EDIT::
Five minutes later I have an epiphany. I am so many sorts of awesome all rolled up into one. And currently raspberry cream-flavored. Even better!

*dreads Wednesday*

FINALS SCHEDULE

FL 320A	MODERN JAPN LIT	Tue, May 09, 2006	4:00pm - 6:00pm	JO211
CHEM111A	FUND CHEM II	Wed, May 10, 2006	12:00pm - 2:00pm	TH228
ASIA344A	ASIA IN MOTION	Thu, May 11, 2006	4:00pm - 6:00pm	WY301
BIOL212A	CELL BIOLOGY	Fri, May 12, 2006	8:00am - 10:00am	TH222

For Maddo:

Daryl laughed so hard he cried. Now it's your turn.

Oh, CLEVER.

Wren and the Amazing Technicolor Bathroom(s)

So, I redyed my hair again. I don't think people know just what an intricate process this is, so I'm going to make a little guide, and then show what happens when you get careless.

If you want to do the job right, you need the following for hair dying purposes:
1) At least two colors of dye. If you're only using one, don't even bother.
2) Toothbrush for roots and small patches of hair.
3) Comb for general dying.
4) Hair ties, barettes, bobby pins, clippies, if your hair is long and/or unruly.
5) Saran wrap/aluminum foil to keep dyed portions seperate (Needed if your hair is going to end up like this: see the bits of purple and red all over? Yeaaaahh...that was tonight. PAIN IN THE ASS.)

If you want to keep dye off things that are not your hair, stock your arsenal with:
1) latex/vinyl gloves.
2) trash bags that have been cut open to form tarps. (So this does not occur: Yeaaah, I've been scrubbing that for a while.)
3) black towels to keep dye off your neck.
4) nail polish removerfor small spots on surfaces.
5) astringent/toner for spots on skin.
6) Coment/Ajax. Nothing else works on sinks.
7) Scrubbie brush.
8) Large sink for rinsing. (DO NOT USE THE SHOWER. >.<)
9) Vaseline. Lots of vaseline. To cover your ears, neck, and hairline. Otherwise you will end up matching your hair for a very long time.

Be prepared to spend ten minutes setting up, 45 minutes dyeing if your hair is as long as mine, and about an hour cleaning up if you're an utter fucking MORON.

レンは テークノホアー です。

Oh, IME editor. I have no use for you now that I am no longer taking Japanese. But it's true! Wren IS a techno whore.

I ordered my new phone today! Thar she blows. (If you want to know far, far too much about it, click here for a five or six page review.) It has way too many features, but it was the smallest and most sleek looking of all the phones I was looking at, so I decided I'd give in and enter the ranks of those camera-phone bearing freaks of the world. It DOES have picture caller ID, tho, which I have a feeling I shall abuse for no short span of time to come.

It's Bluetooth capable, so I went ahead and got a headset. I talk a lot in the car and when typing, so I'll definitely put it to good use. Plus, it and the phone have rebates, so it's not like I'm really spending much money.

Ack, time to go order a replacement charger for this laptop. Now that Daryl's comp is fixed, my charger only works on it half the time.

Thank God my job is starting soon. I can finally fix all the little things that have been going wrong. Too bad first paycheck is going to OMG BILLZ.

::EDIT::
My God, what have I done?

I am now officially gainfully employed.

Le Grand Retour

My freckles are coming back! This is what happens after I get an hour of sun four days in a row. Once they've taken over my face they'll start to conquer their neighbors and form freakles. This, my dears, is only the beginning.

They always come out first on my forehead, but soon my nose and cheeks will freckle a lot, too. Next come the shoulders, then the arms, then the legs, then the stomach, and so on. I'm hoping to do a lot of outdoors stuff this summer, so chances are I am going to be nigh unrecognizable come fall. I'm very lucky that I freckle and tan, considering how pale I am.



My other goals for the summer consist of starting a tie collection and buying an ultralight laptop. Papoose is going to be delegated to Downstairs Comic House Computer, since I'll also be getting a desktop. Computer overload? Most likely. Do I care?

Hell no. I named my iPod "Chew Toy," you know. I adore electronics.

What happens when our professor mentions offhand that only freaks take his class.

FINALS WEEK: THE LIBRARY- The ultimate in reality progamming

Maddo and I took over a corner of the mezzanine in the Library today. I relocated an armchair into a corner with some Beethoven sheet music, stole a chair to use as a desk, wrapped myself in a blanket, and settled in. Maddo took over the end of the nook I was blocking and propped her laptop on top of a convenient stepstool

What follows are snippets of the conversations we had via wireless internet while writing our papers. I'm sorry, guys. This is what happens when you all bitch I don't blog enough.


Maddo: ex-boyfriend just IMed me. we haven't spoken in like five years
Prince Abubu: KILL HIM
Prince Abubu: (Sorry, instinct.)
Maddo: he's just rambling about how busy his life is
Maddo: which isn't exactly what i want to hear while i'm working on a paper
Prince Abubu: OMG, SEAN, IS TAT U?
Maddo: lol
Prince Abubu: you should have had an away message up
Maddo: "how's life" "busy" "just school" "yeah, a lot of school" "well i know how you feel. i work like 90 hours a week on the set of LOST" "...cool"
Prince Abubu: ...yes, he knows exactly how you feel. What the FUCK.
Maddo: yes. personally i think writing a final english paper is harder than working on a tv set
Maddo: but hey, that's just me, talking about some guy who didn't go to college 'cause i'm a snob
Prince Abubu: OMG 90 hours a week. DUDE, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO SHOWER AND I BET YOU DO.
Maddo: precisely
Prince Abubu: SMELL MY HAIR, BITCH. THAT IS THE SMELL OF FINALS. AND NO SHAMPOO.
Prince Abubu: AND CApS LOCK
Prince Abubu: >>
Prince Abubu: =X
Maddo: your P is small
Prince Abubu: HOW DARE YOU
Prince Abubu: I Am NOT COMpENSATING
Maddo: vagina (What she was referencing.)

Maddo: i hunger. do we have any foods at home?
Prince Abubu: ....=/
Prince Abubu: Let's go get some ramen from the cellar. My treat?
Maddo: you are such a big spender, sugar-mommy ;)
Prince Abubu: =_= starve, bruja.
Prince Abubu: I actually mean cup of noodle. And I just totally typed needle.
Maddo: mmmm cup of needles
Prince Abubu: just for you.
Prince Abubu: FOR YOOOOOOUUU. (For reference, click here.)
Maddo: all the rage in suicide instant lunch
Prince Abubu: Quite.
Maddo: massochistic nourishment
Prince Abubu: oh, yes. Every bite, it thrills. And also bleeds.

We're going to bed now.

What he said...

My life: A photoessay of schedule boxes

A rollercoaster of love this is not!

So I noticed last night that my left knee has been grinding. Like, if you put your hand on it when I move it, you can feel it creaking. I was a little worried about it, but I figured it was no big deal, because my knee used to do that all the time. (That should have been my first clue.)

Well, today, I went to lie on the floor and stretch out my back...and there was a horrible popping noise. My kneecap popped out again. The entire area is swollen, but it now glides smoothly when I bend it. No creaking.

Now I know. =/

So Friday I go back to PT. They just decreased my appointment times to twice a week, too, but after this, who knows?

*sighs* It's almost back to square one. Hopefully I can keep it from doing it twice in a row this time so I don't end up back on crutches and vicoden. Vicoden during finals is a not happening type thing.

Shhhhh.

Today is Day of Silence.

If I didn't have a presentation in lab today, I'd be participating now. After lab, I'll be silent until bed. I did it for an entire day in high school my senior year and got in a silent fight with my spanish teacher. I can't do that today. >>

-_<

Well, I'm technically not failing chem. If I do well on the next two exams, I'll definitely not be failing chem. STUDY TIME IT IS.

Just ordered a shikifuton for the summer. I'll post a link to it later.

Also want new laptop so I can take notes in classes. Come faster, July. >>

At least I can get a new phone next month.

This post was essentially pointless.

/flees!

*crosses fingers*

Today I go back to the doctor's and receive a verdict on my knee. It still hurts when I do steps and certain exercises, but Ewok Man says the fact that it didn't dislocate again during my physical therapy is a good sign. Hopefully I can stop going to PT and take matters into my own hands. And, if that's the case, hopefully I don't accidentally end up killing myself. I know the exercises I need to do, but I want to start running again, but I can't do that if I'm not fully recovered. >>

But if I don't start running again, this will keep happening.

A VICIOUS CYCLE IF I EVER HEARD OF ONE.

Oh, crap, I forgot to ask if he thinks it's okay for me to start meditating again. I guess I'll ask the doctorman and hope he can give me an educated answer. It will probably be "if it's comfortable for you." But it's not really ever comfortable. >>

Here's what I'm going through today, so all you folks who talk to me tonight will understand why I seem to have gone insane:
7:40- PT with Ewok Man
9:30- Doctor's Appt
10:45- Lunch, if I'm out of doctor's by then
11:30- go cry in my Chem professor's office
12:00- Meet my new boss and discuss work stuff
12:30- Chemistry quiz
2:00-5:00- Class
7:00-?- Finish Biology paper, do calculations, make figures and tables, read for next lab, do prelab.
?- ...sleep?

Off I go to see the doctor. Everyone send me spirit vibes.

::EDIT AFTER DOCTOR::
Three more weeks of physical therapy at three times a week, then I get to see them again. They decided to hold off on an MRI to see if I continue to improve. Unfortunately, I've not improved as much as they were expecting, or would like. He says if it doesn't get much better that there is a chance I have damaged my cartilage, which would still mean surgery. Which I no longer have TIME for.

Depressing.

And of course, now my knee hurts like a bitch because he fucked around with it. Bah.

I appear to be failing chemistry

This is going to be a long, long week.