Dear Keys:

I am awake, and it is 3AM. If you really loved me you would not have had me be five minutes late to work because I was scrambling about in the dark searching for you. I grabbed many unsavory things that were definitely NOT you during that blind encounter. One of them may have still been alive.

And the stowing away in my laptop compartment after I give up and trudge off to work on foot? Bad form.

No love,
I have bed head and am not wearing a bra.