Pissants.

There is no longer a friendly rivalry between Comic House and Robot House. As of tonight, it is an all-out war.

Last Wednesday we got together with Dana and Larken to learn to play Guitar Hero. I invited two people from Robot House, neither of which could make it. One was "Romeo." (I am totally glaring and saying I-TOLD-YOU-SO to the house.) We only had one controller and wanted to play multiplayer mode, so we asked to borrow one. When we went over to pick it up, the guy who answered the door told us it didn't matter which controller we borrowed. So, we took the red one to make sure it wouldn't be confused with our black one. Seems fair, right?

Wednesday passes. The night is fun. I e-mail "Romeo" and ask whose controller it is to see when they want it back. I get no response at all. I IM the other guy we talk to from the house, who said we could borrow it. Also no response. Since it seemed like they really didn't care how long we had it, we held on to it. We saw several members of the house on Thursday, who waved and said nothing. On Friday, I tried to corner "Romeo" and ask him about it, but he literally RAN out of the classroom door to avoid me.

(Side note here. YOU ARE A COLLEGE SENIOR. The days of running away from girls are behind you, sir. The only reason why I tried to be nice to you was because you sat next to me the first day of class this semester, and had been nice to me on other occasions before that. You seemed funny and sarcastic, and rather intelligent. Had I known that you instantly became a sociopathic gluteal haberdasher once people tried to be civil to you, I would have kept the fuck away. You are not being stalked, which should be obvious considering you have no human qualities that would be stalk-worthy. Get over yourself! I am amazed that you managed to find six people willing to live with you, though that became less astounding as the rest of these events unfolded.)

I didn't want to bring the controller back randomly because no one ever answers the door when I knock or ring the bell (BECAUSE I AM A CRAZY STEALTHY STALKER WITH ALL THE BELL RINGING), so we held onto it and waited for them to get back to us. No dice.

Flash forward to tonight. "Romeo" is serving food at the campus grill, and when he sees me, he stops what he is doing and yells "WE WANT OUR GUITAR BACK!" I am a little taken aback, but I agree that I'll drop it by. He then proceeds to be a complete jackass to everyone in my house as we get our orders in. (Note to self: Apparently guys who glare like assholes the whole way through.)

Once we get home, I IM the other guy and ask about it. Apparently "Romeo" and the controller owner are under the impression that I walked into their house and took their damn guitar without asking anyone's permission.

Oh yes, you read that right. They think I stole their controller.

Gaskets blow somewhere in the interior of my psyche, and I lose it. The conversation did not end well. But, I think I had every right to be offended. Our houses have a friendly rivalry. That does not mean marching into their house and ganking electronic equipment. That does not mean violating personal space and overstepping the bounds of acquaintanceship. The fact that "Romeo" thinks I would stoop so low has made me lose all interest in a friendship with him. I could accept the stalker jokes, because it was amusing. But this is a bit much. Especially since they didn't do a damn thing to contact us to get it back! If you're that worried and upset over your property being taken, shouldn't you take action?

Apparently not. Apparently the members of Robot House simply sit and stew in their own angst because they have not yet developed the social skills, or possibly the fucking testicles, to figure out what is actually going on in a situation. Seven people in the house and not a socially acclimated one among them (okay, so that's not true of two of them, but still. Isn't that still defying some sort of golden rule? The entire house is a statistical anomaly, and it is completely the fault of robots!)

Tonight Maddo and I gave them their controller back, after a minor crisis involving the whammy bar and the shoddy workmanship typical of Red Octane. The ex-leader of the house answers (the one who kept threatening to burn our house down), and the following conversation ensues:

"Hello!" *chocolate bar OM NOM NOM NOM*
"Hey! Tell [controller owner] thank you for letting us borrow it, and that we would have gotten it back sooner, but we were having trouble getting ahold of you guys."
"Okay!" *OM NOM*
"Also, tell Eric he's a jerk."
"Will do!" *NOM NOM*
"Thanks!" ^_^ ^_^

So that's that. Controller is back, and I am breathing normally again. No more friendly rivalry. No more glaring and pretending to hate but actually finding it fun. We at Comic House are leaving them the fuck alone, since they have made it quite clear that is what they want. We will also be locking our doors in case they decide to "retaliate."

All of this drama over Guitar Hero? This can't actually have happened among a group of near-college graduates, surely. Right, guys? Anyone?