I can't do this.

My independent project for Microbiology is destroying my soul. I didn't take into account when I wrote the experiment that I can smell bacteria and mold rather quickly. My mom used to call me a hypochondriac because I would change the dishrag three days before she thought it smelled funny. I can tell when things have been washed with a sponge that wasn't dried properly.

It is a curse.

And now, I am forcing myself to drink out of an intentionally unwashed Nalgene? Where was the smart? Seriously? Where did my brain go when I decided this was a possible thing? Now I'm supposed to be taking five swallows three times a day from two Nalgenes? That's 30 seperate cases of me WANTING TO DIE. My results are not nearly interesting enough to allow for this.

So! I am setting a new rule. I am drinking once a day from each nalgene. That cuts my trauma ratio by 1/3 which is far more bearable. Now I just need to decide if I should restart the experiment or just pretend the week I spent shuddering in fear was to "allow for the formation of biofilms within both bottles."

I think I can conclusively say that I am not made to be a research scientist. I'm unwilling to harm live creatures, and bacteria freak me out, even if I do know they came from my mouth. Knowing is only half the battle. I apparently am not all that good at accepting some truths.