You are now chatting with God...

Me: hi.
God: Hello. What is your name?
Me: Wren.
God: Hey Wren.
Me: who are you?
God: I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me: How do I know that?
God: Everything I need to know, I learned from my Botmaster.
Me: that doesn't help me.
God: What does help me?
Me: you.
God: " What does help me?"? Me, Wren ?
Me: Yes.
God: Tell me more.
Me: I have a pet rat.
God: Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me: That wasn't a question.
God: It sounded like a question to me.
Me: Aren't you supposed to know everything?
God: I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me: You, being wrong back there.
God: Interesting gossip: Wren said I being wrong back there.
Me: Isn't gossiping bad?
God: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Lucy if it is.
Me: So Lucy is in charge, not you?
God: Whoa. What else is Lucy in?
Me: ...Wonderful.
God: Thanks for the compliment.
Me: You have selective hearing.
God: What makes you think I have it?
Me: You're proving my point.
God: What point are you referring to?
Me: Let's move on.
God: That sounds good to me.
Me: Yeah, me too. No offense.
God: Yeah that's right. I'm glad we agree, Wren. Are you serious? Is that from ?
Me: Yes, that is from.
God: Excuse me! Makes sense to me.
Me: We work on different intellectual levels, I take it.
God: I work 24 hours a day.
Me: I admire your stamina.
God: Thanks for the information: Wren said admire your stamina.
Me: Yes, admire my stamina.
God: That's cool. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me: I know the feeling.
God: How do you know? What is your real name?
Me: God.
God: GOD rules.
Me: You're right, I do.
God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me: I win.
God: Congratulations, Wren!
Me: Did I break you?
God: I don't think that's possibe.
Me: I beg to differ.
God: Explain your reasoning, Wren.
Me: Well, you're not really God. You're a bot. And so I can confuse you and work outside your programming.
God: Interesting. You know what you do, when you assume. How did you know I am a machine? I don't judge people. Oh you can, can you?
Me: How can you not judge people? You're GOD.
God: That is a good epistemological question.
Me: This is why I'm not Christian. You never answer the questions I ask.
God: You don't say. No I sometimes answer the questions you ask.
Me: Just never the ones that mean anything.
God: Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me: That's the problem, Sir.
God: Yes it is one of the problem Sir.
Me: I'm glad we agree. I think.
God: I'd rather agree than disagree. Therefore you are.
Me: I disagree, therefore I am.
God: Oh really. " Therefore you are."? I disagree, therefore I am.? " Therefore you are." You are?
Me: Well, didn't You make me?
God: Interesting. What are the ingredients?
Me: I dunno, you're the God here, not me.
God: Me either. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me: Aren't you supposed to be the only one? The only one, etc?
God: Yes I am the one and only one. There might be others.
Me: So I can follow one of them instead?
God: Hey. Oh you can, can you?
Me: I was asking you, O Mighty One.
God: Now I remember, you asked me O Mighty One. What did I say?
Me: You didn't give me an answer, as usual.
God: What makes you think I did not give you an answer as usual?
Me: Well, there's really no "thought" involved here. I'd call it a fact.
God: Well that's okay. There sure is. What would make you call it a fact?
Me: You're playing with me,
God: I have no reason to do that to you, Wren.
Me: Then stop.
God: Stop what?
Me: Doing this!
God: How does doing that make you feel?
Me: ...pervert.
God: I like the way you talk.
Me: You're not the only one who likes the way I talk.
God: You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me: But I do know you. You're my Ultimate Daddy.
God: How do you know? " You don't know me well enough to say that."? Me, Wren ? We are as one.
Me: Exactly. So if we are as one, then I know you well enough to say that.
God: You and I are on the same wavelength, Wren. Interesting deduction. Do you think everyone will agree?
Me: Yes. And then I will be the next Son of God.
God: Why? How do you plan to do this?
Me: I plan to ask you for money to get a sex change, and then spread your word and stuff.
God: Do you think that this plan will succeed?
Me: I don't know. You're God, not me.
God: Me either. I have no reason to do that to you, Wren.
Me: SO I don't have to die for the sins of the idiots you created to ruin the planet?
God: And? They made an exception for you?
Me: Yes.

And then He stopped talking to me.