The Last Will and Testament of Wrenus Cristus. (smite on the line -----.)

Well, since I can't shake the feeling that something terrible is going to happen at the convention, I have decided to write my will.

I don't want to be buried. Burn me and scatter me someplace that can use the nutrition. And then go out for ice cream. And then plant a tree and name it after me.

Alright, all you materialistic bastards, here you go:
Rose: You still get nothing but the last two Eva DVDs. Not the movies. The shows. And you will LIKE it.

Kashi: You get to pay for my funeral. After all, it's your duty.

Baron: You get all my cooking utensils and cookbooks. Yes, I know this means you'll be joining me shortly in the afterlife. That's the whole point.

Sarah: I leave you Pride and Prejudice, Pirates, cookie dough, and Goat Man. Sleep well.

Tiny One: You can have my family. No, really. I leave you all my pictures and my sketches of your comic character.

Batman: I'm entrusting you with my plants and all 21GB of my music.

Rupe: You can have all my anime and any lesbians I may have lying around.

Biker: Take my scarf. XD And all the movies I have that you don't already own.

Attabug: Take all my AMVs, including the one I have done and have never shown anyone, and the one you liked but I never finished.

Jazzy: You get my extensive tea collection. And a boot to the head.

Wolfie: I'll give you the ideas for the company and all the chapters I never wrote. Heh. Don't you hate it when authors die just when it's getting good? Oh, and take my knives, too. They'll need a good home.

Gio: Take my TV. I know you don't read this, but someone will tell you. You use it more than I do, anyway.

Daryl: Take my hair dye and do it RIGHT. Be a MAN, damnit. Red != strawberry blonde.

Eri: You get all my Prince albums because I am a spiteful bitch.

Matt: I leave you my roomie and a fanged vagina. Don't ask where I got it. Please. It's in the
box under the bed in the guest bedroom.

Grey: No phone call for you.

All my furniture I leave to Bob the Cat, who uses it more than I do, anyway.


It was nice knowing all of you. <3 Thanks for being people.

::EDIT AFTER READING COMMENT::
BDM: You get the Biggest Materialistic Bastard I Know award. There, now you're on the list. Whore. <3