The Raichle Bathroom As It Is

It seemed like a gorgeous idea in my head. When she said "slipper" bathtub, I pictured that beautiful wooden, high-backed, clawfooted, utterly gigantic tub from Secretary (go watch that movie now.) When she said stone floors, I pictured irregularly shaped and spaced cobbling, and somehow in my head it was tasteful. I think it was because I added in lots of plants, steam, a birdcage, and about 20 extra feet of space. And it matched whatever bold color the walls would be.

What did I end up with? Grey floors, salmon-colored walls, brown and beige towels. Gold tub fixtures mixed with brass towel rods. Did she think it wasn't going to be noticable? And, for some reason, a green floor mat. Green.

The tub is not wooden. It is porcelain and really FREAKING COLD ON YOUR BACK. It is not high-backed, so you have to slouch, and it's too short for you to stretch out and really relax in. It is not claw-footed. There is air in the pipes, so when you drain it, it makes a deafening gurgling noise that reverberates throughout the whole stony interior. Finally, it is terrifying to get out of. I don't know why. it just is. You simply feel like you're g o n n a d i e.

I don't know what went wrong. This is the bathroom people are going to SEE! Why make it the odd one??

I think it's cuz Fam picked the tile and Unc chose the wall color and they collaborated later and decided they didn't care.

I wish they'd have asked me.