Dear Throat:

We've been over this. You've been with me for 22 years, now. You should know. And, in fact, I think you do know, but are being willfully ignorant.

So I am telling you again.

I DO NOT LIKE TAPIOCA. So please, please, please stop looking like you are coated in it. I am in pain, and have been for a week.

Keep this up. See what happens. (You can be replaced, you know.)

Dearest Darling Madeline:

From the darkest depths of my soul, I hate thee.

Paradise Lost, as it should have been

Satan: "Dude, God was waaaay stronger than I thought he was! How dare he be all sneaky like that?"
Minions: "So, should we give it another go?"
Satan: "Nah, let's just chill here on Mt. Nipples. I'll be king and stuff and we can decide what pranks to play on God."
Adam: *is made*
Eve: *Is rib*
Eve: *is made*
Raphael: *is gay*
Satan: *is snake*
Apple: *is nummy*
God: "Eeeeeeeeve, what happened?"
Eve: "It's my fault. There was a pretty snake."
Adam: "Yeah, it's her fault!"
Adam: *points at God* "No, wait, it's your fault!"
God: "Um, no, it's your fault. Get out of my Garden."
Adam: "You dumb bint, what did you get us into!"
Eve: "You're the one who went along with it!"
Michael: "Guys, chill. Go farm some dirt."
God: "By the way, you guys hate snakes."
Satan: "Cursssssssssssssssssssses."

I forgot the first half thanks to the meds

Maddo: *hits Wren's right arm, probably with justification."
Arm: *goes numb!*
Wren: "AAH!"
Wren: "AAAAAAAAAAAAGH."
Arm: "<3!"
Maddo: ^-^
Wren: "Stop getting rid of my arms on the highway!"

Dizzy

Brain: Do you expect me to think?
Meds: No, Mr. Brain; I expect you to die.

I am less than a foot away from this conversation

Bespectacled guy: "I could tell he wasn't a student. People here tend to dress conservatively."
Policeman: *glances at my green hair and matching jacket* "Uh-huh."

I am going to miss this house.

The Boys:
Daryl: *quietly, to Matt* "Do you have any condoms? I need four."
Matt: "Er, no, I don't have any."
Me: *from other room* "I do."
Daryl: "You do?"
Me: "Daryl. Of course I do. What color do you want?"
Matt: "..."
Daryl: "I don't care. They're for Campus Films; I'm handing them out with the candy."

---

Maddo:
*In car. Goes to set down sixteen-ounce Jamba Juice, mis-judges her own strength, and hurls cup into dashboard.*
Me: "...What just happened?"
Maddo: *crumple*

---

Sarah:
Me: "All your posters fell down over break."
Sarah: "Oh, of course they did. I have no idea what I am going to do."
Me: "Use poster tabs! They fixed my problem!"
Sarah: "...I don't understand them."

My latest project.

I am working on a neighborhood of pixiepeople. If you click the link, you'll go to a slideshow of screenshots of the NPCs. That's right. I made custom NPCs. It's a from-scratch neighborhood, and once I am completely done revamping the auto-generated NPCs there will not be a single human in it.

I'm making a lot of custom content for it, too. Special walls, flooring, pillars (the houses are treehouses, so the bottom story is open-air, generally surrounding a tree-trunk.) I'm also working on a new bath set that is made of mossy stone--bathtub, sink, mirror, and possibly toilet.

My favorite part, though, is the singing plant. Pixies should not dance in front of stereos. Rather, I figure they'd be able to listen to the sounds of the forest and boogie away like that. Hopefully, I will be able to add musical notes to it, too.

Don't even get me started on the pixie television. You don't want to know.

So anyway, that's what I have been doing. Once I am done with the neighborhood, I get to upload the entire thing to MTS2 and prosper.

A Minor Disagreement

Please, Please, PLEASE click through for the large.

(AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA>)

"A BEAR! You made a BEAR!"

"...I didn't mean to!"


Cannot. Stop. Laughing.

The Sims 2 has officially driven me to the brink of insanity.

There are more things wrong with that situation than I can adequately explain. (Just FYI, the dancing man is a vampire.)

New Rattie Video

Sir Splinter Templeton Strange
9-5-2005 to 3-18-2008

Victory.

My first editorial review for the porn site has been published.

Sometimes I hate science.

2. What do the grey shapes in Figure 2 mean? How are gene regulation changes described
with this display?ALL OF THOSE SHAPES ARE GREY, SIR.

A: Daryl

Daryl: "So if you get the pain therapy done, will you still have the weak hands and everything?"
Wren: "Yeah, but that's definitely better than the pain."
*pause*
Wren: "I guess I'll just have to make sure to never cling to ledges for dear life."
*pause*
Daryl: O_O
Daryl: "WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?"
Wren: "There I am, gripping the cliff edge with three fingers. I look down. I realize I am fucked."
Daryl: "Like you'll ever be in that sort of situation!"
Wren: "You don't know what I do at night!"

Daryl: "So this is what it's like to go the speed limit!"
Wren: "Why are you going the speed limit?"
Daryl: "Because I didn't want to shift into third gear."
Wren: "Oh, so you're lazy."
Daryl: "Fine, yes. Don't you dare blog this."
Wren: "Okay."

Please do not kill me for downloading Indian Hip-Hop.

Blame the Hinduism exam.

I've spent years putting it all together

There is one place on this planet that currently has a copy of Elysian Fields' Queen of the Meadow album. I have checked iTunes and been told "oh we have it BUT YOU CANNOT HAS," Best Buy ("Where it is?") Amazon, ("What you say?), and just about everywhere else ("HA HA HA.")

And I just found it. Oh, eMusic, I had forgotten how much I love you.

Dear Keys:

I am awake, and it is 3AM. If you really loved me you would not have had me be five minutes late to work because I was scrambling about in the dark searching for you. I grabbed many unsavory things that were definitely NOT you during that blind encounter. One of them may have still been alive.

And the stowing away in my laptop compartment after I give up and trudge off to work on foot? Bad form.

No love,
I have bed head and am not wearing a bra.

Actually, I think she's just never happy.

Receptionist: "Is your hair in honor of Saint Patrick's Day?"
Me: "Yes."
Receptionist: "I think I liked the old color better."
Me: "That's okay."