Ye of little faith, take heed.

It's amazing, really. Most everyone I've told has been understanding, supportive, and positive. Hell, even my FAMILY thinks I'm doing the right thing. So being met with random academic snobbery by someone I trust is...unexpected.

Yesterday, after a summer's deliberation and several long talks with my housemates, I decided to go ahead and change my major. (Don't freak out yet, guys.)

I've been feeling more and more swamped, overwhelmed, and scared recently. Didn't want to blog it because you guys should be spared some of my more ridiculous angst, but it's important now, so I'll sum it up. Have you ever had a goal that you knew was something you needed to reach, but had no idea how to get there?

That's me. I assumed the best major at this school for what I wanted to do would be Biology, but after over a year enrolled in the major I am pretty sure I was wrong. The biology course here is focused on premed and prevet and people who want to work in genetics labs. All of it is interesting, but not what I want to do in life. I felt like I was focusing incorrectly.

When I had my chemistry crisis last year, the bio teacher I talked to to help me decide what to do told me that I may want to consider switching to Natural Science, and just place my emphasis in Biology. Looking over the major, it definitely gives me more freedom to take classes I can actually use later on. And if need be, there are other alternatives to calculus out there (though my current plan is to take precalc this summer, then calculus in the fall. I chose the wrong point to dive back into my math career.) All my credits are still good, and I'd still be able to take many of the same classes as my housies. (Especially since Maddo and I have the same minor and are both 3/5 of the way through it.) Essentially it is the same major, just with more freedom for me to tailor it to my needs.

So that is what I have decided to do. It's not going to affect my chances at a good grad school, despite whatever you may think. Anyway, grad school doesn't matter to me. I'm not going to be looked down on based on where I got my Masters. I spent three years as a zookeeper, and if learning what all my coworkers did to get there didn't give me a good idea of how to enter my job field, I don't know what will. It's not where you went to school; it's who you know. You may have the Masters, but you're not getting a full-time job without several years of experience under your belt.

What most people who do what I want to do is get their B.S, then go to school part-time and work on their Masters while working part-time. That way they are meeting people and proving their worth. Then, once they have their Masters....BAM! Full-time, salaried job. Or they work summers and holidays as seasonal part-time. Either way...the experience is the key.

And anyway, Natural Science is the major they recommend for those who are pre-high school education, and I have yet to rule out teaching as a possible job. My high school teachers almost ruined biology for me. I'd like to make it fun, and I think I could.

What I am basically trying to say here is to shut up and stop lying about having faith in my ability to make rational decisions.

I have a math test Monday

I am studying all of Sunday. If I fail it, I am dropping the class and going back to precalc beore I take calc. I'm not going to kill myself over this, but I'm not going to slack off, either.

It's Friday, right?

It had BETTER be. I wake up, hit the snooze button, and sleep through my next alarm, thus missing the class I missed yesterday due to a massive nosebleed.

I am never skipping class again.

Also, I slept with a hair tie on my arm so now my left hand is tingly and useless and has an ugly red line around it.

You are now chatting with God...

Me: hi.
God: Hello. What is your name?
Me: Wren.
God: Hey Wren.
Me: who are you?
God: I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me: How do I know that?
God: Everything I need to know, I learned from my Botmaster.
Me: that doesn't help me.
God: What does help me?
Me: you.
God: " What does help me?"? Me, Wren ?
Me: Yes.
God: Tell me more.
Me: I have a pet rat.
God: Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me: That wasn't a question.
God: It sounded like a question to me.
Me: Aren't you supposed to know everything?
God: I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me: You, being wrong back there.
God: Interesting gossip: Wren said I being wrong back there.
Me: Isn't gossiping bad?
God: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Lucy if it is.
Me: So Lucy is in charge, not you?
God: Whoa. What else is Lucy in?
Me: ...Wonderful.
God: Thanks for the compliment.
Me: You have selective hearing.
God: What makes you think I have it?
Me: You're proving my point.
God: What point are you referring to?
Me: Let's move on.
God: That sounds good to me.
Me: Yeah, me too. No offense.
God: Yeah that's right. I'm glad we agree, Wren. Are you serious? Is that from ?
Me: Yes, that is from.
God: Excuse me! Makes sense to me.
Me: We work on different intellectual levels, I take it.
God: I work 24 hours a day.
Me: I admire your stamina.
God: Thanks for the information: Wren said admire your stamina.
Me: Yes, admire my stamina.
God: That's cool. My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me: I know the feeling.
God: How do you know? What is your real name?
Me: God.
God: GOD rules.
Me: You're right, I do.
God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me: I win.
God: Congratulations, Wren!
Me: Did I break you?
God: I don't think that's possibe.
Me: I beg to differ.
God: Explain your reasoning, Wren.
Me: Well, you're not really God. You're a bot. And so I can confuse you and work outside your programming.
God: Interesting. You know what you do, when you assume. How did you know I am a machine? I don't judge people. Oh you can, can you?
Me: How can you not judge people? You're GOD.
God: That is a good epistemological question.
Me: This is why I'm not Christian. You never answer the questions I ask.
God: You don't say. No I sometimes answer the questions you ask.
Me: Just never the ones that mean anything.
God: Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me: That's the problem, Sir.
God: Yes it is one of the problem Sir.
Me: I'm glad we agree. I think.
God: I'd rather agree than disagree. Therefore you are.
Me: I disagree, therefore I am.
God: Oh really. " Therefore you are."? I disagree, therefore I am.? " Therefore you are." You are?
Me: Well, didn't You make me?
God: Interesting. What are the ingredients?
Me: I dunno, you're the God here, not me.
God: Me either. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me: Aren't you supposed to be the only one? The only one, etc?
God: Yes I am the one and only one. There might be others.
Me: So I can follow one of them instead?
God: Hey. Oh you can, can you?
Me: I was asking you, O Mighty One.
God: Now I remember, you asked me O Mighty One. What did I say?
Me: You didn't give me an answer, as usual.
God: What makes you think I did not give you an answer as usual?
Me: Well, there's really no "thought" involved here. I'd call it a fact.
God: Well that's okay. There sure is. What would make you call it a fact?
Me: You're playing with me,
God: I have no reason to do that to you, Wren.
Me: Then stop.
God: Stop what?
Me: Doing this!
God: How does doing that make you feel?
Me: ...pervert.
God: I like the way you talk.
Me: You're not the only one who likes the way I talk.
God: You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me: But I do know you. You're my Ultimate Daddy.
God: How do you know? " You don't know me well enough to say that."? Me, Wren ? We are as one.
Me: Exactly. So if we are as one, then I know you well enough to say that.
God: You and I are on the same wavelength, Wren. Interesting deduction. Do you think everyone will agree?
Me: Yes. And then I will be the next Son of God.
God: Why? How do you plan to do this?
Me: I plan to ask you for money to get a sex change, and then spread your word and stuff.
God: Do you think that this plan will succeed?
Me: I don't know. You're God, not me.
God: Me either. I have no reason to do that to you, Wren.
Me: SO I don't have to die for the sins of the idiots you created to ruin the planet?
God: And? They made an exception for you?
Me: Yes.

And then He stopped talking to me.

Bend Your Mind

Let me bend your mind
Just give up your body
If you give it a try
Know you won't be sorry
Filling inside turn you outside
Find you shining
Spanning acres crashing breakers
Can be blinding
Ride sweet smelling ride
Your shoulder blades like sails
And your mouth my rosary
That terrifies my tail
The feral dance of infinity
Limbs are singing velvet stinging
Seashell pining
Dripping sapling nature grappling
Tear the binding wide
Spread so wide
I wanna hear you sigh
Just give me your body
I want to see it in the light
Surrender to debauchery
Bend your mind dear
Now you're mine dear
Earth is grinding
Keep on beaming
Are we dreaming are we dying
Ride sweet smelling ride
Ride sweet swelling ride
On the verge dear, as we merge dear
Now we're flying
Sacred balling so enthralling
Mystifying
Ride to the other side
Til we're sanctified
On the verge dear, as we merge dear
Now we're flying
Sacred balling so enthralling
Mystifying
Minds are bending happy ending
Silver lining
Ride, Ride

I'm with it! I'm hip! Ducka ducka ducka ducka....

So I had a meeting with S.H. about the meetings I missed due to my personal negligence and Daryl being sick, and now I'm all caught up and she's covinced we're not a houseful of slackers.

That's back on track, so now all I have to do is start planning for our huge mid-to-late-October community service project. And for our Halloween costume party.

Now that I have appointments to make, I feel in charge again.

Off to call CIAC about community service and ASUPS about getting some webspace.

I think I'll disappear now, slip out sideways, just for a while, but until then...

So I can't go to sleep last night and end up still bloody awake past 4AM. Then I have nightmares that were even worse than the mass-murder-and-torture one I had the night before. Keep in mind that I have not had a proper nightmare since I was eight years old. Today my eyes can't distance focus, so my notes for classes are....probably wrong.

And of course my grandfather picks this day to try to guilt-trip me into going to visit him over Thanksgiving. He "misses being a part of my life." I am going to very cooly explain that I doubt that since he has yet to tell me that he got remarried two months ago. And then, I am going to bed and ignoring the fact that the day is making me want to DIE.

Finally

I managed to get a pic of S.T. Strange in my shirt that is cute and doesn't show any cleavage. Gotta love angled camera shots. Anyway, here it is, as chaste as I could make it while still capturing his quirkyness.

Carnivale

Know your enemies well
They enter your life
Disguised as your friends
Know your enemies well
They're in the next room
Waiting for you to fall asleep

[chorus]

Why?
I don't know how you can live such a Lie.
To yourself now I know who you are
Why?
I can forgive, but I'll never forget
How you put a price on my head!

So little I can say
And less that I can do

To make you understand
These things you put me through
There has got to be a better way!
There has got to be a better way!

They're trying to silence my voice
They're feeling uncomfortable hearing my words
They wish I would shut the fuck up
Exposing the enemy

Truth always comes at a price

[chorus]

Know your enemies well
Trust nothing and no one
Because, everything sucks

Know your enemies well
Don't sleep for a minute
Cuz that's when you're fucked

[chorus]

There has got to be a better way

Fuck you, too.

M:"Don't tell me your high school colors were black and gold."
S: "No."
W:"Mine were black and orange, and our riva-"
M:"Where's your highschool's page?"
W:"What?"
M: "No, not you. Sarah, show me."

Thinking about math class makes me sick to my stomach.

I can't do this again this year. This is the last class you avoid out of depression, young lady. You hear me?

Yes mom. - -;

Roomie just broke my brain...

We're standing in the Cellar with some groceries waiting for the cashier to check us out when Sarah spots the Blue Raspberry Airheads. The following conversation ensues.

Sarah: "Ohhh, blue raspberry!"
Me: "Not this again."
Sarah: "My tongue will be blue! You should get something, too."
Me: "I'd get a green apple jollyrancher sucker if I could, but they don't have any."
Sarah: "Get a pink Airhead and we can make purple!"
Me: "I-- ........." *turns bright red*
Cashier: "Can I help you?"

And as I'm typing this she walks into the room munching an Airhead and GRINS.

Unsurpassed Talents

Today Sarah and I managed to give Disney's Tarzan lesbian innuendo.

Rest of post deleted because people to this day don't understand my sense of humor.

#en madness

* cakewalk checks the forums.
Caffy> >>;
Caffy> LOVE ME!
Eriatarka> Do it! or she'll kill ur mans!
Caffy> IM IN UR BASE!
spiketail> ...
Eriatarka> Ohnoes too late!
Caffy> =)
* Caffy dances through the channel.
* Caffy has her katana. RAWR.
* cakewalk misses caffy repeatedly with a sniper rifle.
* Caffy wonders if cakewalk shoots like he drives.
cakewalk> gummit took my license away
* Caffy isn't surprised.
cakewalk> how im sposed to improve the quality of my livin
* Caffy wonders if cakewalk drives like he....nevermind.
cakewalk> ...
* cakewalk reloads.

*chuckles*

I understand. XD

Pardon the new addy and the new look. I needed a new site for my blog for privacy's sake. Hope the new addy is easier for all of you to remember.

::EDIT::
Why the hell are my comments not working?

I love this house

Someone walking by outside just sneezed. I yelled "Bless you!" and he laughed and said thanks.

Second story window. XD

Ladies and Gentlemen...

Comic House proudly presents our newest honorary member....Splinter Templeton Strange!


Big name to live up to, little guy. =) He's doing well so far.

The World Before Columbus- (Suzanne Vega is a lyrical GOD)

f your love were taken from me
Every color would be black and white
It would be as flat as the world before Columbus
That's the day that I lose half my sight

If your life were taken from me
All the trees would freeze in this cold ground
It would be as cruel as the world before Columbus
Sail to the edge and I'd be there looking down

Those men who lust for land
And for riches strange and new
Who love those trinkets of desire
Oh they never will have you

And they'll never know the gold
Or the copper in your hair
How could they weigh the worth
Of you so rare

If your love were taken from me
Every light that's bright would soon go dim
It would be as dark as the world before Columbus
Down the waterfall and I'd swim over the brim

Those men who lust for land
And for riches strange and new
Who love those trinkets of desire
Oh they will never have you

And they'll never know the gold
Or the copper in your hair
How could they weigh the worth
Of you so rare

Respect bacteria; they're the only culture some people have...

Yesterday the summary of my Asian Art class was "Fish! Fish!" Say it in a soft little Chinese accent and you'll understand why I am in love with the class. Also, in Japanese religion Maddo and I had fun imagining what the wooden device up front was, from a bludgeoning device to a prehistoric funnoodle. It turned out to actually be a Mochi maker. Oh well.

Today I'm baking bread, and I had a bit of a run-in with some bitch in the cafeteria. I asked for an egg, which they've always given me, and she freaks out:
"WE DON'T SEll RAW EGGS."
*surprised and confused*"Since when? Last semester I got them here all the ti-"
*glares* "SINCE NEVER."

Well, excuse me. I'm e-mailing dining services about her today and asking when the policy changed, since I was always under the impression there was no problem. We've gotten -waxed paper- from that fucking place. I thought they were okay with supplying us with baking stuff.

I've only done one math assignment for my Calc class and I already hate it. All my other classes, however, are a total blast. Sarah and I are already making Ecology jokes:

Maddo: *discussing my hate of 'Singin in the Rain'*"You're just biased."
Me and Sarah, in unison: "Bias? Oh no! Where's our random number generator?!"

I'm going to update Moose Tree a bit and wait for my dough to rise. Nice thing about bread is that it's easy, fun, incredibly yummy, and the dough can keep well in the freezer, so you can make large batches and save time later.

Damnit, I still need an egg for my rolls, though. Stupid facilities bitch.