post flood!

Today I made the mistake of doing laundry while on the phone with Matt J. It would not have been a mistake had Comic House Matt not also been there. I was having a perfectly normal conversation about how Matt J. needed a haircut because he looked like he had a dead ferret on his scalp when I reached into the washer to grab some wet clothing. Without paying much attention, I took a pile of laundry the six steps to the dryer and started loading it. All of a sudden, I hear Matt L. began to giggle hysterically from his bedroom. I look to my right.

There is a long string of elastic stretching from the washing machine to my hands, and hanging from it in the middle like a confused bungee jumper is a bright pink set of briefs. I also start giggling hysterically.

Wren: "Oh, wow, I think the washing machine just ate a pair of my panties! There is elastic all over the place, and my panties are hanging in the air."
Phone: "..."
Matt L: *laughs hysterically*
Wren: *starts pulling on the elastic coming from the washer*
Elastic: *keeps coming from washer*
phone: "..."
Wren: *starts walking toward Matt L.'s door, bringing long string of elastic with*
Elastic: *stretches from washer to door, all the way down the hall.*
Wren: "And people wonder why I found underwear in my computer fans."
Matt L: *still laughs hysterically*

Cue two minutes of me pulling at elastic in a vain attempt to get all of this under control. Throughout this entire debacle, Matt J has been utterly silent on the phone. The two of us in the apartment, however, cannot stop laughing.

I finally get all of the elastic out of the washer, give the panties up as a lost cause, toss them in the trash, and attempt to salvage my conversation with Matt J.

Wren: "I'm okay, I'm okay."
Phone: "I really don't think you're okay."
Wren:*bursts into hysterical laughter and collapses on the washing machine*
Phone: "See?"

One hour later.

Matt L: "oh, there's a pair of panties in the trash."
Matt L: *pause*
Matt L: *throws garlic on top of them and walks away*