Dear Fam:

Stop taking everything so fucking personally. When my car fucking died in the airport parking garage, I called you.

"You were screaming at me!"
"I was not. It was loud, and I was incredibly upset."
"Well what can I do? I'm three thousand miles away!"

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM UPSET, BITCH?

Things are fine with the car now. But I have no intention of calling Fam any time in the near future. She makes things three times as difficult as they ever need to be.