Better and Better

A word to the wise:

I realise that this is my first shift with both of you, coworker-people. However, I'd like to think the signs of pure, eye-bloodying rage are so universal that the two of you would know when to quit. I've been proven wrong quite frequently in my assumptions this week, however, so I suppose I shall just have to add this one to the pile.

No, he's not gay, and I don't care what his dumb bitch of an ex has told you. I've known him for two years, and she dated him for a matter of weeks. Which one of us knows him better? No, I don't care what you've "heard," because trust me, it's probably a house joke that you are far too incompetent to wrap your mind around.

"No, no, it's fine if he is." Good for you and your open-mindedness. Really, I applaud you. Now if only you would apply that to the difference between truth and vicious gossip and save my nerves some strain.

"Dude, he totally is. I have a source." Yeah? I'm his fucking HOUSEMATE. I've seen what he has pinned up in his room, but you know what? You're both idiots, and I'm not dignifying either of you with an argument over this. So I'm going to spend the next ten minutes in the kitchen taking deep breaths and trying to remove my nails from the palms of my hands. kthx.

This is the last time I work with either of these people, so help me.