The Road Trip Digest

Well, we made it safe and sound after dodging crappy drivers, pissy cops, and birds-- all through clever braking-- and I am damn tired.

A few tips for my fellow road trippers:
1) If I am driving 70MPH in the left lane, chances are the car in front of me is, too. As is the one in front of that. Attempting to pass me on the right and then getting stuck behind the Wal-Mart semi is not going to change this.

2) Signal, you dumb fuck.

3) Just because you are on a motorcycle does not mean you can drive on the little white line to get out of the slow lane.

4) The prick in the Grand Prix is only going to alert the cop that people are speeding. Don't feel safe just because he's going 20MPH faster. Cops are lazy and will get the weakling of the pack.

Some fun quotes from the trip:
1) "Is that a motorcycle up ahead?"
"Yes."
"Huh. It looks like a hunter's mark on that Volvo."

2) "Which way do I turn?" (Asking left or right, as I cannot see the sign.)
"East."
"Which way?" (approaching division of road.)
"East, east!"
*Veers right, which just happens to be west.*
"This is west! I said east!"
"Fine. You want to be a condescending, know-it-all bastard, YOU drive."

Random list
Number of "Jesus trucks" seen: 12
Number of near-miss accidents: 3
Number of assholes on road: Memorial Day factorial
Rest stops seen: 6
Bags/boxes of japanese junk food devoured: 3
naps taken: 0