I thought this crap had gone the way of Scarlet Fever

Apparently I have tonsillitis. We don't know yet if it's bacterial or viral (though my strep test was negative), so there's no knowing for the next two days if the antibiotics will help. In the meantime, I'm on lots of ibuprofen for the swelling, and also have the joy of gargling lidocaine+Wilcox. More proof that chocolate milk cures everything, I suppose.

Also, my uncle is in town over the weekend. Fam told him how sick I am, so he's planning on calling and "checking up on me." I am not allowed to let on that I am finally aware of the depths of asshattery he has fallen to. So now it's a dilemma: bite my tongue and get new toys, or refuse to answer the phone and give my nerves a rest.

More proof that God hates me

I can't imagine what else could go wrong today. But I'm not going to try very hard in case it decides to prove me wrong. I don't know what I did to piss off my Higher Power, but MAN. I must have. Making it through this day is going to cause some serious Karmic burn-off.

So I got home sick last night, call Fam, and agree that I need to go to a doctor. Before I pass out, I get ahold of Matt and get info for the Urgent Care clinic he went to when he had a really bad ear infection. Today I wake up and get ready to head into the doctor...

...and my car dies. Cue tears.

So then I call my aunt and she convinces me to call CHWS on the off-chance that they are open in the summer. Well, they are, I find out- but only for counseling appointments. That has to be one of the most fucking useless things I have ever heard.

They were kind enough, however, to offer me a link to the least helpful pamphlet in the world. Well, except for the Urgent Care clinic, which I find out is only 1.8 miles away, and is open to walk-ins from 9AM to 9PM. Too bad my fucking CAR is dead.

So I call a taxi service. Now let me explain something here: I have a taxi phobia. I hate calling for them, I hate riding in them, I hate driving by them. It's ridiculous, I know. But at this point, I figure I have no other choice, because I have not been this sick in a long, long time.

Taxi guy apparently doesn't understand the concept of a "Wheelock Student Center at 15th and Alder." It's the most common pick-up point on the frigging campus, but "he needs an address." At this point I am incredibly stressed out, start crying, and hang up on him. I've never had that problem before; any transit company understands where the Student Center is, because not knowing is very bad for business. Maybe he was new, but I dunno. Just my luck.

So I finally break down and call Sarah's cell phone a couple of times. She doesn't answer, so I get on Google and look up what I hope is her home phone. I get her dad, he says she's at work, and gives me her number, and I call her and break down sobbing hysterically over the phone.

Now she's trying to get ahold of her family so she can take off work, drive up here, and save my life.

I have the best roommate ever. I cannot BELIEVE how awesome she is. I've spent the entire morning feeling scared and alone, and the fact that she's willing to drive from Olympia to help me out is like...overwhelming awesomeness.

Misery

Everything hurts. At work, and just spent last ten minutes dry heaving in the bathroom. I can't imagine how my throat will feel if I actually throw up. Both ears ache terribly, my entire neck is tender, and I have a light-sensitivity headache.

I've been told it's okay for me to go home if I need to, but if I do, that will basically screw over the rest of the shift.

I'm gonna try to stick out at least 30 more minutes.

Fuck it.

I still feel like crap, but I have to work tonight. So I'm going to have some tea, remedicate, and go get Arby's+shake, buy rat food and bedding, and a DVD player, and head home. Hopefully by then I'll be nicely exhausted so I can curl up in my Sick Nest and watch movies, then sleep again before work tonight.

And I don't have class tomorrow, so I can come back and pass out after work.

My throat and ears are trying to kill me. I just know it.

::EDIT AFTER ERRANDS::
S.T. had better be one happy rat, because I bought a lot of new toys for him.

I should be in bed.

slow-motion accident: Wren requires us on floor pic.
slow-motion accident: And me stuffing cleavage in my bra pic
slow-motion accident: XD
slow-motion accident: money!
slow-motion accident: money in my cleavage.
slow-motion accident: *dies*
Sarah: lol
Sarah: HHAHAHAHA
slow-motion accident: I am SO STRUNG OUT
Sarah: *falls on floor laughing*
slow-motion accident: I cannot fucking BELIEVE I just did that.

Small Favors

I called my work and talked to them, since I feel worse today than I did yesterday. They told me they'd go ahead and let me stay home sick, and if things got crazy later and they needed me to dispatch they'd call me in. My cellphone wakes me up, so that shouldn't be a problem.

That seems fair. They're expecting it to be pretty dead tonight anyway, since it's a holiday weekend. So I'm not leaving them completely stranded, and I'm not left completely miserable.

I am having tea and then collapsing, watching a movie, and going back to sleep around 1.

Another sign of your incompetence

Yes, I've heard you sitting in the office for the past 45 minutes, talking trash about my coworkers.

The door is OPEN, you dumbass.

=_=;

Halfway Mark

In all honesty, I do this job for things like pizza bagels and key lime cheesecake.

Mmmmm.

::EDIT THREE HOURS LATER::
Oh my God, three more hours? I am SO DAMN TIRED. I blame being sick, but seriously, this is insane. My eyes hate me, my body hates me, I hate me...

Oh, thank you, Penny Arcade podcasts. Here goes another hour. Bossman Kind has offered to let me go nap, and then told me I should go home, but that would be a bad idea. We have two conferences here today, and that would leave Newest Patrolperson and Incompetent Bossman alone on their own. Which means Newest Patrolperson would be dispatching, leaving Incompetent Bossman to do all the footwork. Which is a bad idea, since he is incredibly lazy. And incompetent. Which I may have mentioned.

So here I stay, for the greater good.

Better and Better

A word to the wise:

I realise that this is my first shift with both of you, coworker-people. However, I'd like to think the signs of pure, eye-bloodying rage are so universal that the two of you would know when to quit. I've been proven wrong quite frequently in my assumptions this week, however, so I suppose I shall just have to add this one to the pile.

No, he's not gay, and I don't care what his dumb bitch of an ex has told you. I've known him for two years, and she dated him for a matter of weeks. Which one of us knows him better? No, I don't care what you've "heard," because trust me, it's probably a house joke that you are far too incompetent to wrap your mind around.

"No, no, it's fine if he is." Good for you and your open-mindedness. Really, I applaud you. Now if only you would apply that to the difference between truth and vicious gossip and save my nerves some strain.

"Dude, he totally is. I have a source." Yeah? I'm his fucking HOUSEMATE. I've seen what he has pinned up in his room, but you know what? You're both idiots, and I'm not dignifying either of you with an argument over this. So I'm going to spend the next ten minutes in the kitchen taking deep breaths and trying to remove my nails from the palms of my hands. kthx.

This is the last time I work with either of these people, so help me.

My Worst Nightmare

Theorytime.

I think being sick instantly halves your age.

For example: I am watching Tarzan, and just ordered Lady and the Tramp and Beauty and the Beast. I think that will just leave Sword in the Stone before I finally feel my Disney collection is complete.

::EDIT TWO MOVIES LATER::
Took my temperature. It's higher than my normal; on a given day I usually run about 97.4. Today I'm actually at 98.6, which makes me think I may be on the verge of a full-blown fever.

Also really tired. Napped from 4-6, then again from 8-10, then at ten I went back to bed until 8 this morning. And yet, time to nap again. Hopefully that will help me make it through work.

This is me blaming you again, Mike.

This house will make me a better Buddhist. Yes, let's treat it as a learning experience. I must develop compassion and understanding for those of humankind not born with enough brain cells to walk them across the street.

*deep breath*

I'm sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why I found my modem completely unhooked today. That's right. I walk into the living room and find it unplugged from the cable, the power, and the ethernet, just sitting there on the floor. The cable hasn't been put back into the TV, and nothing else has been changed.

Unfortunately, I possess the power of thought, and thus cannot FATHOM why this was done, no matter how hard I try. So I'll just have to feel compassion for them. Which I do. I mean really: HOW DO YOU SLUTS EVEN MANAGE TO FIND YOUR ASSES WITH YOUR HANDS, YOUR BOYFRIEND'S HANDS, A FLASHLIGHT, AND LUBE?

I am a bad person. And there is rage.

My first Oceanography exam is today.

There's a lot of stuff to know. I can't believe we covered all this in two weeks' time.

My head feels like it is going to burst. Time to play some Katamari Damacy before I go face my fate.


::EDIT AFTER EXAM:: Well, that went refreshingly well. I'm going to nap in an attempt to start preparing my sleep schedule for my next set of Grave shifts.

So I walk into my bathroom to rinse out my cup, and all the drawers are open, and my stuff has been rearranged. NO ONE ELSE IS CURRENTLY USING THAT BATHROOM.

Everyone in this house deserves to die.

I hate you, Europe.

The Ancient Greeks proposed that the world was round, that humans evolved from fish, and that all life began in the oceans when Europeans were still barbarian tribes.

Today, there's still an ongoing debate about whether or not evolution is a real occurance.

Oh, Dark Ages. What the hell did you do to civilized minds?

okay, so camera phones can be occasionally useful...

...such as when you decide your friends need to get a sneak preview of the interior of the new science building. Let us off on a virtual tour of some of the oddities and wonders I came across when we decided it was time to get out of the pouring rain and have some fun.

But first! When we were locking down Thompson, we came across a rather shocking sight. Bossman Prime opened a door to our largest two-story lecture hall, pauses, and goes "Oh my fucking God." (only slightly less amusing than when Partnerman shrieked "CHRIST ON A CRUTCH!" when all five lines of our phone were ringing at him.)

I amble over. "Did they tear shit up?"
"That is a bit of an understatement."

So I enter the room. Behold.


Let's get a replay of that for the fans, shall we?

It was like the construction crew got royally pissed and started flinging the chairs at the lab bench in a rage. (Clearly I have missed my calling.) That pile is as tall as I am, dearies.

Next Bossman Prime figured out why it has been taking so long to get things moved. Apparently the crew is working with a dolly that was formed piecemeal from a seventeenth-century HANDPLOW.


Coincidence? I THINK NOT.


Nice corn pipe, by the way.

Moving on. Next I discovered why some of the biology students chose the major they did:

I honestly believe that the person responsible for that little gem would be escorted out at gunpoint if he ever stepped foot into a Humanities course.

Then we moved on into the new science building, and I started peeking around in all the labs. It's incredible. There's enough lab space in there to have a dedicated and customized lab room for each course. Even the more obscure ones, like Geochemistry. The Animal Phys lab has overhead lamps on tracks that can be moved and directed to provide ultrabright light wherever you need it on the lab bench, which I'm sure will make dissection less difficult on the eyes. Here's a shot of a basic chem lab:

It's got lovely new benches, and look at all that floorspace. We have room to move now! The ringstand poles are built-in, and the new hoods (see back) are LOVELY. I can fit in them. >> There's a ton of shelving for storage, and I believe a dedicated area for everyone to toss their backpacks.

In the human anatomy lab, we came across a lot of hanging models. There's a pun here, but I shall refrain (OR DID I?).

That's Partnerman and Bossman Extreme, by the way.

Here is the spiral staircase that resides in the main entrance of Harned hall. It's, erm...a suspension staircase, and it gives me terrible vertigo.

That disc at the bottom is where the three-story pendulum will be centered. It's so large it takes 16 seconds to do a full "tick."

Hanging in the atrium from the roof is our whale skeleton. My chem lab partner actually hung that himself. How, I wonder to this day, but there it is. You can see the cables for the staircase, too.


In closing, I should like to leave you with two pictures that cause me to question the sanity of every member of the Biology Department.

The label says "200 Proof EtOh- For gun." And it's sitting next to a scanning electron microscope image of a spider's anus and spinnarets.


Those doors are made of wood. Behind it is a two-gallon jug of every common alcohol used in Organic Chemistry.

And there we have it.

Well, I didn't fail anything. I probably shouldn't be a Bio Major, but I didn't fail anything.

Juxtaposition

You curse like a sailor, assume the worst of all of our students (often with good reason), hate everything about the new science building with a bone-aching passion, and generally carry yourself with an angry and slightly bad attitude.

And yet you perform catch and releases on the office spiders while talking to them sweetly and go out of your way to feed the library cat.

You, bossman, are a fascinating person.

Dear Mr. Swimmer Man:

I understand that you are thankful we came to let you into the pool. However, the glint in your eyes, the smirk on your face, and the fact that you looked me over before saying so makes me think you meant that on a much more personal level.

You think a female security officer is hot, hm? Try me, bitch. I'll make you cry in a way that was never meant to be sexy.

I never thought cats would be the enemy...

Until my housemates let a stray in last night. This morning I left the room to brush my teeth, came back, and caught it fucking with my rat. Just cleaned rat's cage, so he had no place to run and hide, which left him catatonic in fear for the next five minutes. Unmoving. Even whiskers entirely still. I gave the poor guy a hug and nudged him into a cereal box, so he hid in there until I left.

I booted the cat back out the door and told him quite sternly that if he ever came near S.T. again I was going to kick him.

Then I kinda petted him and fled. >> He had a bum foot, so it was impossible to keep my hatred pure.

Now I am sitting in the SUB listening to some old guy make fun of classical Italian music while doing a sound check. Yes, that requires singing in a drunken falsetto. It is going to be an odd day.