Dorm Antics

May I present to you, boys and girls....THE DETERGENT SLIDE!

.


.


.


.


.


.

A Familial Correspondance

So I wrote an e-mail to the family telling them about my classes.

Fam-

Thought you might want to know my school schedule, so here it is:

Monday, Wednesday, Friday:
9-9:50- Chemistry 110 (Not Wed)
10-10:50- Japanese 101
11-11:50- Utopia/Dystopia
12:12-50- Biology 111

Tuesday:
9-9:50 Chemistry 110
10:10:50- Japanese 101
1-3:50- Chem 110 Lab

Thursday:
9-9:50-Chem 110
1-3:50- Bio 111 Lab

It's not as bad as I thought it would be. Having Chem AND Bio will suck, cuz it's a heavy work load, but it will be worth it. Second semester I take Calc A. Miranda, a girl from across the hall who I like a lot, has already offered to help me.

Also, we saw a hypnotist last night. It was fantastic.

This is the answer I received:

Your schedule sound heavy on one day. But, how nice to have Friday off!

Thanks for letting us hear from you. Did you get hypnotized? Sounds like fun. I have seen a hypnotized show once, it was fun.

I am going to transfer the book money to your account today. I will transfer more funds on the first.

I am going to attempt to send you some pics of the house renovation progress. We will see if I get it done right.

Glad you are having fun. Love you, Fam

I don't even know where to BEGIN.

A Convo Worth Remembering

Some context: I was sitting at my desk typing something up when Laura walks by to write on my door. She notices my comic books and says the following just as Robert walks by. Keep in mind that Roger can't see into my room.

Laura: *yells* You have ZITS!
Me: *laughs* Yeah, I have a LOT of Zits."

*We both turn to Robert, who is staring at Laura and my face, trying to understand*

Robert: "You're SO MEAN, Laura!" *more looking confusedly at my face*
Me and Laura: *laughing hysterically*
*Robert walks off*


We explained it to him later.

Hysterical Laughter

" My friend's dad loves to torture his children mentally. One day he was driving with my friend (his son) in a convertible, and a car overtakes them. As they go by, some girls in the car wave at my friend.

Dad: "Who are they?"
Son: "Oh, just some girls from my high school."
Dad: "Oh okay...."

As they pull up to the lights, both of them see that they're going to be stopping right alongside the car with the girls in it.

Does Mad Dad honk the horn and wave back at the girls?

No.

Does he make catcalls and whistles?

No.

Does he take a clown mask out from under his seat, put it on, insert a tape of fucking merry-go-round music into the stereo and turn it all the way up?

"

I love SA.

Where I Disappeared To

For all of you who wonder where the hell I ran off to around 9, I'll enlighten. Miranda popped into my room and asked me if I was going to see the movie. It was Revenge of the Nerds, it was free, and she was leaving AT THAT MOMENT, so I kinda had to zip. Sorry.

Someone drew Salad Fingers on my door. Bad Gio!

Some girl who I think is named Vanessa asked me if I wanted to go to look/get pierced tomorrow. I'll prolly just buy new gauged earrings for my firsts. I have a feeling people would kill me if I actually got my tongue done.

I choose classes tomorrow. I think my schedule will end up like this:

Monday, Wednesday, Friday:
1000-1050- Japanese 101 (Advising Class)
1100-1150-Utopia/Dystopia (required Freshie seminar crap)
1200-1250 Biology 111 (I'm a Bio major)
1300-1350- Japanese Religion (233a) -fulfills a core, rocks my world

Tuesday:
1000-1050- Japanese 101 (Advising Class)

Thursday:
1300-1550- Biology Lab

If I can't get into Bio I'll take Chem instead, which would get my ass up at 9 am. I'd also have the lab on Tues. so I'd have no classes at all on Thursday. If I can't get into Japanese Religion I'll be taking a class on Greek and Roman Epic poetry that sounds like it might kick my ass but be well worth it.

1st Homework of the Year

It's not really official homework since I don't have any classes yet, but it's for orientation. And I'm feeling sadistic enough to bless you all with it. At least the part I have done.

This essay was assigned for us to read and sumamrize into two paragraphs. It was actually decently interesting. (There are a couple of typos, which bothers me, since it's on a University web site. Mt. Holyoke doesn't seem like the kind of school to ALLOW typos.)

Here is my summary.

Modern English language is empty of meaning. Writers use too many words and stock phrases that don't evoke any clear image or meaning at all. To sound intelligent sentences get strung out and unneeded words get added in. People no longer put thought into the meaning of the words they choose, so meanings can become twisted and misenterpreted. This lack of depth in language makes it harder for people to think clearly and for themselves.

This is useful in politics. Politicians rely on this ability to say much and mean nothing. So it follows that if one cleans up and refocuses the language that it will have an effect on the whole system. To clean up the language most foreign and latin or greek-based words, tired or misused metaphors, and other stock phrases need to be removed. This will make it easier to choose shorter and more specific ways to say what is intended, with words that actually have a clear tone and meaning. If all of this is done speakers will better understand what they and the people around them are saying and will be more capable of thinking for themselves. This will improve American politics as an effect.

Not well-written, but it's just supposed to be a rough draft. Next I have to read an essay on DNA and decide on two places that should be expanded. Then I get to compare the styles.

And, of course, look up various translations of archaic French poetry. I'll spare you all this grief.

And...I'll spare me too. *goes to bed* BAH!!

::BLEARY-EYED EDIT::
Right, little did I know they meant the ORIGINAL paper on the first correct model of DNA. Ugh. I hate reading technical jargon.

That damn thing was written to and for the informed. How the hell should I know what needs to be "expanded?"

Fuck you, college. And your little dog, too.

mmmm, steak

So, the George Foreman grill is a big hit. I've been told I need to start charging people to use it.

*sniffs* Gods, the dorm smells FANTASTIC.

This is very amusing.

More Chronicles of Wrennie

7:10 am- I wake up to the sound of Rob Zombie's 'Dragula' seeping in through my window from a dorm across the green. Someone goes running down the hall.

7:35 am- My roommate and I figure out neither of our alarm clocks were set properly.

7:55 am- I am out of the shower and done getting the black dye from my sheets and towels off of me. Thanks, family, for washing them before shipping them. There is ONE dryer on my floor. XP

8:15 am- Where the FUCK is the milk for my cereal?

8:20- No, really.

8:23- oh.

9- TESTING!! AGH!!

10:30-Flee back to dorm room and ask RA what the hell is wrong with our door. Steal my roommate's Expo marker and write "EVIL DOOR!! XP!!" on the whiteboard. Get online, check e-mail, then steal Expo marker again and write "Wren is bored! Come save her!" on white board.

::SECOND EDIT::
11:30- Growl about the fact that no one did and head off to first advising class.
11:40- "Oh, I needed a pencil?"

12:30- Round up a bunch of near-strangers from 3rd floor and head for lunch. Talk about knives, guns, Uma Thurman, small Alaskan towns, and people who hate Alias.

2pm- Head off to second advising class.
2:10pm- "Uh, can I borrow a writing utensil, Kei?"
2:30pm- The purple crayon you've been writing with is now DEAD.

3 pm- Show the guy in room 318 the layout of your room. A flash from the forum is up. Watch that, the end of the world, and ddautta. Go check out his room, get shown pics of Japanese schoolgirls. Comment on his kilt and spiked, studded boots. Tell him if you did that to the toes of your boots, people's knees and crotches would never be the same.

4pm- loan the guy to your left your microwave, laugh when he asks to buy the george foreman grill that was inside it. Find out he has the same laptop as you do. Rejoice and attempt to remember what his name is.

::THIRD EDIT::
5pm- head to farewell dinner with the family. Fam chooses an Italian place. On way down realize you forgot room key and have to go all the way back up.

5:30pm- the following conversation ensues:
Me: "Fam, do you know anything about my 'student account'? Like what sorts of things get credited to it?"
Fam: "No, I have no idea."
Me: "That's nice, cuz I think you get to pay for it when it happens."
Fam: "What is it?"
Me: "I don't know, I was asking you."
Fam: "Well, I don't know. What gets credited?"
Me: "Fam. I don't know! I was asking you for information."
Fam: "Well, I've never even heard of it."
Me: "You're only doing slightly worse than me, then."
Fam: "So what do you know about it? What gets credited, when?"
Me: "I don't know."
Fam: "'Student Account'... ...What do you mean by that? Your bank account?"
Me: "No."
Fam: "So what is your student account?

...lather, rinse, repeat for two minutes...

Me: *starts getting exasperated* "I asked you to see if you know. I know nothing! I have no information!"
Fam: "So why did you bring it up? I don't know anything either."
Me: "We've established that."
Unc: "Wren, there is no reason to be getting angry. You were the one who brought it up and now you're getting mad when we ask you questions. That's ridiculous."
Me: *tears at pizza and stares out window*

6pm- Proof that I frequently get listened to:
unc: "So what are you doing tonight?"
me: "Floor meeting, dance."
...three minutes later...
unc: "So what are you doing tonight?"
me: *stare*
fam: "Unc, you already asked her that. Listen!"

...ironically, the next thing that happens:

fam: "So is there an all-guys dorm?"
me: "No, just an all-girls."
fam: "That seems a bit odd. You'd think that some people would prefer non-coed."
me: "Well, there's not enough room. And also, most dorms are co-ed by floor, not by room like mine."
fam: "Hmmm, but a lot of the dorms are co-ed by floor, aren't they. So I guess it's okay."
me: *bland stare*

7pm- Sit in the corner during a floor meeting and chuck starburst and reese's at the kid in room 230-something because he is aiming at a kid from my Japanese class and missing. A lot.

8:30- Put on jean skirt with slit to show off red knee-high boots. Wash face, cuz air is nasty and sticky cuz windows are all shut cuz *gasp* it's raining!

9:15- Go to dance thing. Get accosted by guy I talked to at family BBQ yesterday and asked to a concert thingy. Meet his, er, typically male roommates. Make fun of the music and talk about moshing and reggae. Attempt to find the free Papa John's Pizza.

9:40- RUN!!

10PM- update blog.

Chronicles of Wrennie- Escape from Hood Canal

Well, last night the family and I got into a huge argument about what time to show up at orientation. I knew it started at 8, and I wanted to show up early to beat the lines, move in while it was cool, etc. After a horribly insulting exchange in which they basically told me I obviously had no clue what I was talking about and had no idea how to read a schedule, Unc said this little gem: "Wren, give me all your info and paperwork. I'm sending you to this damn college, and I have more right to it than you do." ...

...cuz he really needs to know when the date rape seminar is.

Anyway. So they wanted to leave at 7:30 to get there at 9. I wanted to leave at 6:30 to get there at 8. Of course we decided to compromise and leave at 7:30. Right. I am quoting. They said "compromise."

So, of course we left at 8. And stopped to get coffee on the way. And then Necromongers attacked our rental Mercedes and told me they could ease my pain.

Family was also 15 minutes late for my convocation ceremony.

But meh. On to the good stuff. My roommate is cool, our room is nice, and my fountain is all set up. Also, it's only gonna cost $15 to fix my PS2. And the internet finally started working.

Taking a Week off...

Off at orientation for the next ten days. I may not be around much until Sunday. Who knows. I'll get on when I can!

UGH!

My biggest pet peeve? People who get mad at me and tell other people, but not me. So I have no clue what I'm doing wrong, so can't fix it.

I find out this morning that I seem to have pissed people off. I don't know how or why. Something about messy suitcases. Evidently I have made several family members angry, but they didn't breathe a word to me. Oh no. They told Fam. Who proceeded to ream me about it, but I don't know what all I did.

This happens every year. I think I'm not going to come up here anymore. I don't know any of them very well, and all I seem to be doing is stepping on people's freakish quirks.

::EDIT BEFORE BED::
This made my night:

Thank you, SV!! Bit is ADORABLE!

SHOPPING!

Went into town to shop today. I now have four bras instead of one. So now I won't look like a total whore in my white shirts. I also have new panties and a pair of boxers that say "Chicks dig me". *chuckles*

MMM. I have a TV an microwave and shirts now, too. And a robe. So...yeah. I'll be clothed.

::EDIT::

Far less bored because they let me take the boat out. I think tonight I am going to be girly and play dress-up to sort through all my clothes.

::EDIT::
Lock me out of the house? Fuckers.

Boredom

I was woken up hellishly early today and told to get ready to go shopping. It sucked because I was in the middle of a dream, and I was jerked awake and thought Fam was the robot I had been fighting, so I had a quiet panic attack. Once I got over that I showered and got dressed...

...and found out Fam had gone back to bed.

So I've been sitting on my ass doing nothing today. Well, I called SLAM, worked on my katakana (I still have all my ひらがな memorized!)But the katakana gave me a headache, so I came in and finished Bebop. *sob*

And then I got online. And Fam just told me we're not going shopping today at all. We're gonna do it all tomorrow. O.o At least Unc is coming. That means I may actually get more stuff.

Anyway, so now I have all day to do nothing. I may watch Lain or Key the Metal Idol or something.

mmmm, the tide is coming in. I wonder if they'd let me take the boat out today.

No. *sulks*

Payback is a BITCH

Radio: Ah. A succubus
Wren: am not
Radio: Prove it
Wren: *doesn't come seduce you*
Radio: ...Fuck. I should've seen that coming.

The Chronicles of Wrennie

Well, here I am in the airport, blogging from Word like a loser. At least I accept my fate. ^_^ Some of you may be wondering why I’m here on the 15th, when I was telling everyone I was leaving on the 16th. That is a looovely story that can wait.

I have a rather large, shiny rock on my left hand. Yes, everyone, I was proposed to yesterday. Rose got down on one knee in her front yard, looked deep into my eyes, and lovingly said “Darling, which one is your left hand?”
….yes. She is quite suave, like any Don Juan should be. *coughs* (I’ll burn for that lie.)

After we had that sorted out she slid the ring onto my finger and said “If everything in life goes terribly wrong-- like it did when the box to this ring flew out my window when I was going 55 on Watson—remember that we’ll always have Vermont.” Then she lept to her feet and yelled “Yes! I finished it!”

It’s quite lovely, don’t you agree?


I got her a box of advice:
[see above]

[and again]
The hedgehog/bearded dragon offered this: “Don’t be prickly!”

[you get the point]The owl is a bit of an inside joke. Reminds us both of those innocent days at the zoo when we both were young. And hopeful. And not embittered and terrified of large winged birds and the impact they can have on your career/future/psyche.

((By the way, Batman. I’m listening to Frou Frou as I type this. Let me tell you, this is my favorite CD ever now. You have excellent taste. And I’ve been looking for a copy of “Must Be Dreaming” for MONTHS now. <3.))

So after that Tiny One, my fianc?, and I all went to the Spanish fest thing and had some food and watched really bad Bolivian dancers. Then Tiny One and I went to the Outback with SLAM and God. While we were there, I got a phone call from Fam.

“Are you ready to leave tomorrow?”
*long pause* “Fam, tomorrow is Sunday.”
“Right. You leave tomorrow.”

Well fuck.

So I spent most of the night frantically packing and cleaning. I had to drop my car at the repair place and get my prescription refilled. I’m not sure if I packed it…but I’ll find out later. I also ran by the house to grab part of a power cord I accidentally forgot. Let me tell you…a half-remodeled house with no power at night is a real treat. Luckily I have a good memory for my things and I knew exactly where what I wanted was. If only that memory extended to other, slightly more useful areas…*bubbles like goldfish* Anyway, I was in bed at 2 and woke up before five to finish cleaning the house and drag my ass off to the airport, where I am now.

Amazingly, I didn’t get frisked in security—for the first time in two years. I was impressed. Maybe it was my look of mild panic and my slightly teary eyes. I wasn’t really ready to go.

Issues at the bank still aren’t sorted out. So I’m still living my double life. Only not, you know, the cool one, living off other people’s money in fucking MADRID. *growls*

Oh well. I’ll have a debit card again soon. Which is good, because I need it for an evil plot.

Did I just sense someone shudder uncontrollably? *chuckles* good, good…

I’m used to having peace and solitude in the airport. But, sadly…it seems the MFV is on this flight. We fired her. Why won’t she go the hell away? I had no idea she was going to be here. If I had, I would have probably tried to smuggle my knife through security.

…Nah. Not worth the risk of losing it. I should name that knife.

Anyway, I just realized I forgot to install AOL back onto this computer, so I may not have internet at the canal after all. *dies* I will go INSANE if that happens.

WAIT! I’ll just have Fam stop by a Blockbuster on the way home. I can grab one of the free AOL disks there. *squee*

…I just *squeed* at getting AOHell. What the….ah well. I call it desperation. >.> Don’t shoot me.

Ugh. Time to board.

::EDIT AFTER PLANE FLIGHT AND LUNCH::
According to me it is 3:50. According to the mp3 player I set in the SEA/TAC airport it is 1:50. I am SO TIRED. I managed to pass out on the plane, but that was kind of a mistake. Now my neck hurts and my body knows what it missed out on last night.

I’m sitting here becoming more and more amazed that I managed to get everything together after all. I got my car to the repair place, got my prescription, packed all my college stuff…and managed to pack up my room, too. I even got a packet of stuff to take to my store manager together. SLAM is going to drop it by sometime this week.

Something I noticed at the airport: an unusually large amount of military types. I know there’s a base nearby, but it was still surprising to see so many. Most of them were bitching that they had three years left. I hear that’s a common topic.

I know I’m not OK today because I let myself eat fast food fish. That is usually a big no on my list. Fish is not something I equate with “fast”. I hear “fast food fish”, I think “FRIED PESTILENCE.” It just seems like the dirtiest food when it’s served up in that kind of environment.

Did any of that make sense? I swear I’m feeling my brain power dying bit by bit already, and the day here has barely begun.

Meh. I’m bored. Imma try to entice Fam into some sort of conversation. Or something. Probably not, actually. Kay. She just left the car. No talky, then.

*goes off to organize music*

::EDIT ONCE AT THE HOUSES::
My current "internet" sucks major ass. Bear with me.

It Hurts to Walk

Aren't you supposed to stop doing this to yourself once you hit, like...9? I'd like evryone to note the swelling of the IT band.

Eri, if you ever call me puddin' again I will be forced to beat you to death with your own left leg. Just so you know.

This is the earliest I have voluntarily been awake all summer. Batman had better be happy.

::edit after a fantastic lunch, two kill bill movies, and a smoothie::
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! *sniff* I'm gonna miss you, Batman.

Elysian Fields- Black Acres

It's amazing how quickly lying out in a field with a bunch of people and watching shooting stars zip around can improve your mood. The grass was mildewy and it got freaking cold so we all ended up huddling together for warmth, but it was a lot of fun. Though I have to say I may have caused a few bruises. Old '"no touchy!" *WHAM!*' habits die hard, ne?

Bye and good luck to Biker and Attabug. Have fun at boot camp, darling. And I hope the duffel bags don't eat you, sir.

Raaa.

Well, since I seem to have been stood up on my Kill Bill marathon and food plans, I'll be going to Biker's barbeque and watching a meteor shower tonight. And getting Krispy Kremes.